[Emma8]

I love that analogy. It certainly is a fragile time, in the first weeks of staying away from gambling. I felt the urge to jump onto the slots again today but stopped myself. I know the damage it has caused and I know the growth I want to encourage in myself. One day at a time!

[Emma8]

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

I’m so happy to now be at the one week stage. It feels really good, although I’m not unrealistic about the distance I have to go still. One day at a time as always!

[Emma8]

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

I’m so happy to now be at the one week stage. It feels really good, although I’m not unrealistic about the distance I have to go still. One day at a time as always!

[Emma8]

I’m so happy to say that I’m now at one week gambling free and still very much looking forward to celebrating two months just before Christmas. That is a big incentive for me! Reflecting back on older posts and feelings is always encouraging, it really reminds you why you’re moving forward doesn’t it?

[Emma8]

I’m so glad you’ve decided to join this forum. Please visit every single day and celebrate each one as it passes, gambling free! This journey will not be an easy one but it is possible. Self-exclude from all platforms online, put blocks on your devices and internet so that you can’t gamble and try to figure out your triggers. Why do you gamble? That should really help you to remove the urge!

[Emma8]

So money is tight right now. As it stands, I don’t have enough money to cover me for the next month.

For a split second I thought about gambling. Maybe I can win enough money to pay my bills.

Of course that’s not going to work and I immediately snapped myself out of it. I appreciate having this forum to share these things. I can reach out to anyone that might read this and I can remind myself that gambling is not the way to go.

Instead I am going to work hard today at bringing my freelance work in. I won’t need much to get me by. That definitely takes the pressure off.

[Emma8]

I’d just like to say, in the midst of the difficulties you’re having surrounding your debt, congratulations on making it to well over two years gambling free! Unfortunately I relapses last week. Reading your journal is a big inspiration for me and an encouragement to keep going one day at a time. I’m going to make an effort now to pay down what I can, even if it is a tiny amount here and there. It makes me sad that long after we make the decision to leave gambling, many of us have a debt hanging over our heads. It’s painful but it can be dealt with. I wish you all the luck and hope that your efforts don’t go unnoticed. You will make it through to the other side x

[Emma8]

Thank you so much. I feel like being open and honest about these things is 100% the hardest part!

For me, the realisation of what I was doing to myself and potentially those around me if I kept going was the main kick I needed to make a change and stop gambling.

In a practical sense though, self-excluding, blocking gambling sites on my home WiFi, being more conscious of where my money was and what it was needed for and beginning to recognise triggers, as steev has spoken about above, have been my main focuses. 

There is no one answer that works for everyone I’m finding, however being more conscious of why I gamble and when is making it far easier to stop! 

I don’t like using the word easy, as it’s anything but. I think you know what I mean though. The more manageable we make this process for ourselves, the more straightforward it all is 

[Emma8]

That really resonates. It can be so hard, even when you know that patience is a part of life, to wait for results. One thing I do already see is growth in my bank account though, because I’m not spending everything straight away. That alone makes the effort worth it!!

[Emma8]

Hi Steev! Thank you so much for taking the time to write that reply.

I find what you’re saying very relateable. I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection over the last couple of months and it was actually this that helped me to stop, instead of hitting the big £0 in my bank account that has done it before. (I didn’t have much left, but not much is better than 0!).

One realisation I had was that the business I’m building is taking a while to grow and I’m finding myself checking the numbers constantly. I know in my head that these things take time, but I constantly find myself impatient. Gambling was an easy way to get money quickly. Of course I would lose it immediately, but my brain wanted to see that incoming number. I had just put the blinkers on to all the negatives.

This is a big breakthrough for me and it gives me something real to work with. I’m so glad you spoke about your own experience because it confirms for me that I’m on the right path!

It’s horrible to think that these slips are a part of our recovery but they do teach us a lot don’t they? 

Thank you again for sharing. I feel strong and know I’m heading in the right direction again 🙂

[Emma8]

Use the drive you have to gamble and turn it to something else. December and January are still over a month away. Is there anything you could do now that would help your finances and give you a positive boost at the same time? Maybe even something simple like selling some unwanted things on Ebay or something? 

I’m so pleased that you recognise that gambling will only make things worse. Imagine yourself on Christmas day looking back and thanking you for staying away from it. Yes it’s been a tough month financially, but aren’t you glad you kept the money you did have safe for the things that are most important?

[Emma8]

Go and read my journal entry. I’m on day 1 once more and it feels rotten. Learn from my relapse. Don’t do it. Just stay away. The short time joy is absolutely not worth it in any way! You’re doing so well. Keep going!

[Emma8]

I hate this. But I can’t be angry with myself. I knew it was likely to happen and I didn’t do everything I could to stop it. I relapsed and now I’ve spent the majority of the money I had available to me. Thankfully since my last big gambling problem episode at the start of the year I have paid off and closed credit cards so I couldn’t dig myself a deeper hole with those. I did have money in savings though. That hurts. I was ready for Christmas and a few other big things coming up soon.

Deep breath

Instead of spiralling and being upset, I am going to look at the positives. Today is day one. I have work coming in (self employed). This means that soon my bank account will have a bit more money in it. My weekend is busy and so I’ll have little opportunity to even think about gambling. From there, every day I will celebrate my progress. This relapse will be a lesson. I’ll look back at this journal and remind myself of how awful it feels in this moment.

I need a cuppa

[Emma8]

Well it happened again unfortunately, as you said. I didn’t visit the forums every day and instead I just wandered back to the slots. I’m taking a deep breath and trying not to be angry with myself. This is day one again

[Emma8]

Oh absolutely Steev! I think that this forum as just as important for me today as it was the day I found it. The urge to gamble is far less now, but I still receive promo from casinos and often have quiet days when you feel the thoughts start to return of “maybe just one bet”. I’m so grateful for this space and the strength that it gives me!

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