[ell]

hello berber,
I want to send you my love and you are in my thoughts…
keep going my lovely berber you are doing so so good …take care your self more now with the pregnency you are the priority my dear..
with all my love ell

[ell]

you are incredιble velvet . when you pop up on my thread you give me so much strength and you blossom my confidnce to just keep going on the right path .
you are something else my lovely velvet
with all my love
ell the turtle

[ell]

Bravo, congratulatios my dear dear monique for your new role. The GT team only can win from your skills from your patience and of course from your experience with the addiction . I respect you so much and i know that for me you were and you are a very kind wise and with power woman adn mother.
with all my love
ell

[ell]

Thank you dear velvet for your answer so much,
When you write on my thread I have food for my mind for days. You are always giving me something new to look for.
Things like: inside me yes I feel a little empty or the sensuality yes I feel that is a difficult chapter to me as a couple but not because I don’t want my hb or how can I start to enjoy my recovery?
All that you wrote me yes velvet I agree with you that are things that I have to work inside me ….
But the difficulty is how??? And of course the answer is time “needed”!
It is very helpful for me when you saw me the road and I will try to walk to that road,
What iF am like a turtle??? At the end I know that the turtle will win something.
Thank you velvet so much, your answers means a lot to me !
With all my love
ell

[ell]

Hello James ,
Welcome to GT site. You cannot imagine James how happy I am when someone in his own searching arrives here in the site.
A warm welcome for me and from all the others members here. Here you will see that you will find true support with no judging. The addiction James is something that no one wants it in his life. If I ask your wife she doesn’t t want it either.
The Gt on weekends are very quite. But on Monday you will see the difference. Here will find support groups and you can speak on real time with people who are in the same situation like you. You can read real stories from the journal (where a cg writes and from Friends and Family where a non GG writes)
I can understand very well James your feelings, your disappointment, your fear your Unger your stress, your questions: why this happens in me? What I did wrong, what will happen to my baby, why so many many lies, fights etc etc etc . Believe me I can hear you very well even we are in different countries.
You wrote on your post:
“But it is really hard to separate her money and mine because when she pays her debts she is not helping with the expense””
That was the same question I had the first day I came here. That was my first post, The Unger with all the other feelings. But on time you will see that things that are important for non cg are not so important for cg and the opposite.

Here in GT you will meet velvet. She will find you or you can find her first on the support groups of F&f . She is giving her life to help all of us .Please go to her group you are more than welcome there.
Please try to separate the addiction from your wife. There 2 different things. I know that is too hard to separate it that is why I’m saying please try. Give yourself all the knowledge that you need. Here you can find so many recourses . Your enemy is the addiction not your wife my friend, so please read and read as much you need and earn all the power against the addiction. Your recovery is very important James and your recovery is different from your Gg recovery.
I’m ell I’m 37 years old with a baby girl 24 months like you and my hb is a cg in recovery .We are married 2 years now. I learn that he is a cg 1 year ago.
It is an honor to meet you James. Please stay connect on GT every day and you will see the difference .

Stay strong with all my love ell

Please excuse me for my english are not very good .

[ell]

Hello my dear velvet ,

I hope that you read my update on 29/10/2013 .

If you can read it and tell me if you suggest something more ??? Your opinion is very important for me.

Sorry for asking it I know that your time is precious but if you can I would be grateful .

With all my love ell

[ell]

Hello harry
Thank you very much for your post on my thread. You don’t imagine how much I appreciate your concerns. Thank you again and again.
That project is not something new for my cg s life. He is always works on similar projects here in our country and abroad and for very famous brands.
The deference is that now the project belongs to one of my own businesses. That is nothing to do with him .No money in his pocket. We will all work for this but money the company will see after 2 years, so nothing change in his life. It is a project a sale that made by my business. He will be the developer in something with no no stress for him. He will be a key for this project(because I don’t want to hire someone else and pay- we have crises in here ) but it is nothing difficult for him .He is doing it every day for the company which works . The difference now is that he will do it for his wife s company. He has already fixed it so many times.
He will not see money in his pocket , and it is not something strange to him .No stress for him . The stress is on me because a project is not just the developer job it is much much more for a client to be happy. He is doing it every day for the company which works. The difference now is that he will do it for his wife company.
The project yes is huge but the money is something that will come on future and because here in my country we have crises it will be oxygen for the company to survive , not money to be rich in our personal lives .
For my company this project is huge . For another company maybe is nothing for me is huge .
Harry thank you very very much much for your post .
Im learning so much from you.
With all my love ell

[ell]

a

[ell]

Thank you my dear velvet very much and monique for your warm wishes.
As i wrote to you v i m a turtle in my relationship with my cg …but thanks god we are not in the jobs .

velvet i hope that you read my answer to you with the update when you asked me , hope that you saw it ???
thank you very muchhhhhhh

[ell]

hello all my good friends
after my update i wrote 2 days ago and the warm answers i had…i would like to share something good for me …
6 months now i try to take a huge huge huge project here in my country …..and yesterday the other company call us and told us that they want to do the project with us …and they will sign with us . I hope it will happen !!!!!!!
i have a big smile on my face but i want the signatures to be safe . My cg is the most imprortant person for this project without him things would be difficult …he is so happy . …
my wish is that they will sign …..
i wanted to share with all you my friends
with all my love ell

[ell]

hello san … im ell and my hb is a cg . I want to tell you how mush i admire all your power , you are somothing else my dear . I want you to know that you are on my prayers and im happy that you will see face to face your son . You are a very strong woman and very powerfull. It is an honor for me to know you . I wish you all my best wishes for your health and for your family . Take care your self san .
with all my love ell

[ell]

Adele thank you very much for your reply and your warm wishes.
I know that we are in a difficult situation but that is life Adele , life we don’t know what will bring us but on the other side the same life help us to find the power to stand up again and again and again .. You are doing so good adele and the counseling you are going too it will help you too .You now so much for the addiction now. You are in the right way and I love your kindness I admire it . Im so happy for you that November will be a nice month for you too and I hope for all of us peace in our lives.

My lovely Monique
When I see you in my thread I feel so so good because I remember my first day in here and you where here for me every time . You are in my prayers Monique . I hope that your son will feel that inside him has the power to stop and change some things in his life. You are a rock Monique and I wish you the best to you and your family .
With all my love to all ell

[ell]

Hello my dear and lovely velvet
I’m here, every day I read the site ,except from this weekend because we had a weekend here – national celebration that is why I haven’t answered I was with my daughter all the weekend.
Well my update:
I think you know the turtle????? . That is my cg and I. Our steps are almost like a turtle …slowly. Yes my dear velvet he is still gamble free and his commitment it is only his family and of course the debts.
He said that I’m a rock and that helped him so much to get his life normal again. He was thinking that after something so wrong he couldn’t succeed again. He is full of light now and he believes not that we can do it. …….. But that we are doing it. …
He told me that he was confused at the beginning … everything was a mountain in front of him and it helped him when I told him :
“”do you trust me??? if you do then follow me with no questions and the time to understand why some things happened or happens will come …just follow
The first priority was only not to gamble, not to have split in his recovery, the early recovery that you taught me velvet …and then the recovery starts…
Now after a year he said that he can understand why I was pushing him so much, not to stop the counseling when he thought that he is ok or why I was so direct with him all the time with not even a small break. Everything has a meaning I told him.
He told me that now he can understand how much he hurt me and he is so proud for me because I found the power to help him to save himself. He thinks that it is very difficult to find a way to help someone when you are hurt and that I was there for him to guide him.
I told him that you wanted to save yourself that is why you listen and you still listening. I told him that I believe that he is not mature yet and he needs time to feel that he can stands only in his legs … I told him that you wanted to listen so that worked with me , I was struggling but i was staying because I was seeing your improvement . If I was talking in a wall I think my love that we would be separate now…
And in that point he said to me: “”yes I know you so well my love…Because you cannot accept the same mistake for second time …I know you so well ….believe me””
I smiled…
We are together velvet. I’m trying every day to let my feelings free. The feelings are here but we need time. We have our hands together but I cannot be the wife that ok now we are all day hugs kisses sex and that’s it . I cannot do it that velvet sorry, I need more time. I know that I want him so much but I need time for all of this … We have nt got love life and now I can say that we have “something “. He is with me in this …and I am with him.
If he is in the right way I realize that I can do it …
As for me.. I think that im more calm now , im giving him some more trust in daily things , and of course im giving him the space to think how we can do the payments for the debts , what to pay fist what second and what day ?and he keeps the dates because he wants to be on time.
I feel velvet like a “teacher” and sometimes im tired but when I see his improvement something happens inside me and feel good again. Ups and down …
Now in November is our second anniversary at 10th and at 23 th of November my baby has her second birthday. Last year November was the worst month of my life …
This month I think that it will be easier ….I don’t need gifts ….i don’t need surprises I just need stability …nothing more than this …
Im a turtle …my steps are slowly , I sometimes feel guilty for this but I m trying to open and leave free again , but I know that a year with 365 days it is not enough , I /we need more.
There are days that I want cry and cry and cry , I want the pain to go away , sometimes the sentence “” needed time “” it is difficult for me , sometimes I becoming so impatient….and that is the time I struggle….
That is how my life is going …
I feel calmer, but I need time to re-open myself again, I need the pain and the fear to go away …. I need to come the time when I will feel that I want to burn all the pages of my story …because that time I will be totally free…
When he looks me in the eyes now he has his self confidence …I can feel it ……he thinks that he needs me in his recovery …but I know that he doesn’t any more ….he knows the rules of this game and he knows how he can win at the end …he just cannot believe that he did it …he thinks that I did it for him …
Ohhh sorry for the length I just saw what I wrote …
I’m taking big breaths and go on ….
I’m so happy to have so good friends in here.
With all my love
Ell

[ell]

hello all
harry i want to tell you that i still have problems with the ryplies on my email adreess i dont know if something new was said by the devellopers .
Today there is another problem NEW.. ..
im in the site
i click choose the lunguage and i choose english
i click log in and put my password
and automatically the site select the lunguage “ελληνικά”
i choose again the english and i clik to edit on my profile and that is not working …the window with my profine in english doesnt work …automaticallu opens only on greek …
i dont know whta is happening and if because i was locked with great britain trhe other day the developpers did something on my profile … i can not see my profile and edit something …
i hope that it will be ok
thank you for your time
with all my love ell

[ell]

hello all
harry i want to tell you that i still have problems with the ryplies on my email adreess i dont know if something new was said by the devellopers .
Today there is another problem NEW.. ..
im in the site
i click choose the lunguage and i choose english
i click log in and put my password
and automatically the site select the lunguage “ελληνικά”
i choose again the english and i clik to edit on my profile and that is not working …the window with my profine in english doesnt work …automaticallu opens only on greek …
i dont know whta is happening and if because i was locked with great britain trhe other day the developpers did something on my profile … i can not see my profile and edit something …
i hope that it will be ok
thank you for your time
with all my love ell

[Author]

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