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Dear Liz! Sorry to hear the content of your post. I would have thought that your daughter would have got past the point of blaming others after 4 years in recovery. I know that her life would be a lot harder were it not for the practical support you give her. Most grandparents don’t look after their grandkids even close to the level that you have. It’s unfortunate that she can’t see the gift that you have given her and her son, and appreciate it. We can’t change people only how we react to them, and don’t be hard on yourself because you didn’t react the way you would have wanted to. None of us are perfect! Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Happy Recovery Day! Carole
Hi Blueelvis! Get up, dust yourself off, and get back on recovery road. Many of us have lost our way in recovery at *****, but it doesn’t mean we have to stay lost. We are success stories as long as we never stop trying. Carole
Dear Bettie! It’s strange how when we are children, words spoken by other children or adults stick with us for life, and pierce our heart many decades later. I remember a boy in elementary school calling me "horse" and "dudley do right." I carried those hurtful words for many years, long into adulthood. Looking back, I think the boy may have liked me, as it was about the time boys and girls start liking each other. Lol! I remember being a young child and standing in the kitchen with my mother and telling her a story someone told me at school. Her reaction and I will never forget it was, "and you were stupid enough to believe that!" I was totally crushed! My weight doesn’t define me, nor should it define anyone. That would discount all the good things we are. Do what you can in whatever areas of your life you can, and "forget about it!" Spoken in a thick Italian accent. Carole
Hi Terrilou! Welcome back to the GT community. I have found that placing barriers to access to cash to gamble with, works really well for most people. You say you travel with your job, but these days there are few places that don’t accept a debit card for purchases, even in really small towns. A credit card with no access to cash also works. Lowering your limit on your debit card to an amount daily that you would not be tempted to gamble with, is also helpful. I used to travel with a job I had for 8 1/2 years and I know those evenings in hotels can get boring and lonely at *****. You will need to replace the void left by gambling with other things. Perhaps reading, walking, watching TV, exploring the history and the town you are spending the night in, etc. I have never gambled online but I have heard that there are blockers that you can get for free on a trial basis, until you can purchase it. This addiction cannot be ******** through willpower alone, because if you’re like me, that only lasts a short time. You need support and barriers. Keep posting and reading. Wishing you a Happy Recovery Day! Carole
Dear Bettie! I hope you’re doing OK. I am sooooooo looking forward to us all getting together, and the deep dish pizza, and the lunch boat cruise, and even the conference. lol! My husband works for an Italian oil company, and they always say " Don’t worry about it!" And of course they always say it in thick Italian, which I love. Carole
Dear Bettie! I have been thinking about you, and hoping you aren’t being too hard on yourself. Carole
My Dear Bettie! I’m soooo sorry that you choose to gamble. I’m reading between the lines and wondering if the FWB situation had anything to do with making you feel so bad. The not caring about whether we die or not is something I experienced a lot when I was actively gambling. Dying didn’t seem so bad compared to the emotional hell I was in while being an active gambler. Things started to turn around for me when I realized I was the problem, but that I was also the solution. You do have a vast array of health problems Bettie. Nobody can deny that. But gambling isn’t going to solve a single one of them. You deserve recovery Bettie! Carole
Happy, Happy Birthday to my friend of the heart!! Hope you have as special of a day as you are! Carole
Hi Larry! Are you in on the river boat lunch cruise with Bettie, Reds, and I on Friday, the 13th, before going to the conference hotel? We’d love for you to come with us. If there’s food, I’m in! Please reply. Carole
Dear Bettie! My husband "confronted" me with a piece of paper that had dates and prices for Vegas in my handwriting, and thought I was pulling a fast one on him. He thought that the conference was a sham and that I was really planning to go to Vegas. I had to explain to him it was from when my friend Diana and I had considered going to Vegas to my father-in-law’s timeshare and just hanging around the pool to get some sun. I realized that I couldn’t go to Vegas and not gamble so I told Diana that I couldn’t possibly go as I was having urges just thinking about it. I would have spent the whole time gambling, so only a fool would have gone. He thinks the name Indian Resort Hotel sounds like they have a casino, and I would have to agree, as most places with names like that, do have a casino. He has every reason not to trust me when it comes to being a cg. Chicago is just beyond the horizon and we’re going to have fun. Carole
Dear Bettie! I’m in on the deep dish pizza! Hubby arrived home yesterday evening and we spent most of today visiting his Dad and babysitting the grandkids while hubby’s daughter went for a medical appointment. Ran a few errands and am going to attend the GA meeting in town tonight. I have the key so have no choice but to go. I’ll probably be glad I went. Tomorrow hubby has more errands to run and I have to say I dislike shopping with him. I’d stay home but I need to do a bit of grocery shopping. He drives back to the city on Monday afternoon to fly back to work, and then he comes home long enough to pick up his golf clubs and a friend, and away he goes for his trip to Arizona. I will see him for a few hours and not see him for a month, because of his schedule, and both of our trips. But I am looking forward to my trip to see you, and Sharon and Larry. Carole
Dear Larry! I’m so sorry that you can’t be there for your daughter in France. You are right that it is healthy for her to speak what is in her heart. Teenagers are a breed of their own, easily upset because of the wild hormone rollercoaster they are on. I’m also sorry that your little granddaughter is being affected by the potential death of her other grandparent. My granddaughter was about 4 years old when she lost her "papa" (grandfather). She seemed traumatized at the funeral and would settle for nothing less than her Dad carrying her all the time. I encouraged her and her cousins to talk about "papa’s" death, and would initiate such conversations, in the car. It helped to know how these little girls understood death, and could answer any questions or misconceptions they had. I made sure they knew that papa was not coming back, that he was in heaven with papa’s dog Tillie. And that heaven was a nice place. And that papa was old and very, very sick. Not like the sick that they get with flus and colds, but a different kind of sick. With everything that is piling up in your life, you could use gambling to escape for a bit, but you know so well that gambling won’t solve one of your problems. I wanted to ask you if you are going to come and hang out with the 3 of us gals on the evening of the 12th. I thought it would be nice to tour the city of Chicago. Carole
Dear Bettie! According to our itinerary, we land at 5:30 pm on the 12th. Can your recommend a hotel Reds and I can stay at close to where you live for the 12th. I was thinking that it would be nice if you could show us the city on the evening of the 12th and we could grab a bite of supper anywhere. Could you pick us up from the airport as well? How far is the conference from where you live? Carole
Hi Bettie! The conference will be here before we know it. I received a receipt in the mail for the actual conference. I’m looking forward to it, minus the hassle of flying. That must be difficult being on a hormone rollercoaster. You are dealing with so many health issues; it has to become overwhelming at times. Gastric surgery is a huge decision. I have one friend who had it and years later, weighs much more than she did before she had the surgery. She didn’t deal with her issues that caused her to overeat. I have another friend who wanted the surgery but was refused due to her existing health problems. Her daughter had it and lost a lot of weight. There are times that having the surgery and losing significant weight, is less risky than not having it. Only you and your physician can decide what is right for you.
Dear Bettie! I see you haven’t posted in 3 days now. Hope everything is OK with you. I’m struggling these days emotionally and when that happens, I tend to isolate myself, not having the energy or will to be around people. I will be having my 2 granddaughters over tomorrow for a sleepover. That diabetes is an awful disease because a person can’t visibly see much of the damage it creates in their body. It’s the same story here about some people not being able to access the insulin and testing supplies because they simply can’t afford it. In the long run it probably costs the health care system more treating diabetics for all kinds of problems, than if they had provided the insulin and supplies free to them. Carole