Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Dear Liz! Seems like your daughter has reverted to her old behaviors of not taking responsibility for her decisions. There has to be some sort of solution other than her living with you for a couple months while she gets enough money together to get a place of her own. She has a job and works long hours. What is she spending her money on? What about if you take your grandson in for a couple of months and leave your daughter to find a place to stay for those few months with friends, etc. Best not to punish your grandson because of his mother’s nasty behavior. Do you know if she ***** you to look after your grandson for personal or work related reasons? Carole
Dear Debbie! I’m sure that Vera was identifying with your struggles and was relating it to her struggles, and meant no harm to you. I’ll leave her to defend herself. I had a dream last night that I was in your situation having no place to live and not enough money to get a place of my own. I asked a few friends if I could stay with them and the few belongings I had. No room at the inn at their homes. Long and short of it, I moved into my childhood home with my dysfunctional family after 40 years of having left there. In reality there is no longer a childhood home, thankfully! I woke up stressed out and with a stomach ache, feeling depressed. In my dream I felt powerless to come up with options of where to live. I think of you often and hope that you can come up with some viable option soon if you choose to move out. Your bf had agreed to moving out some of his horde so that you could put a bed in the other bedroom. Is that an option so you can get a full night’s sleep? I know you said you didn’t want to intrude on your daughter’s family, but with her having a baby in the not so distant future, would she welcome someone to **** and clean and help out with the baby in the evenings for a couple months, so that she and her partner could have some time together, and she could have some rest? Could you consolidate your gambling debts and just have one payment that was manageable, taken over the longest possible time? Everyone hates having payments over a long time but you need to be able to live and get healthy emotionally, as no one can live for years under the stress you’re currently under, as it weakens a person’s immune system, leaving them susceptible to autoimmune diseases. I hope that you can come up with a viable solution even if at first, it isn’t exactly what you would like. Carole
Dear Liz! Checking in with you to see what you’ve been up to. I can’t believe how well you manage a lot of stress in your life. Losing weight dieting, in the midst of lots of stress. You seem so disciplined since you gave up gambling. Good to hear that your hubby is feeling better and getting around better. Maybe he will feel even better after he has his second surgery, and will want to participate in activities with you and your grandson more often. I feel like I’m coming down with a cold but morning will tell- coughing and sniffling and tired. Good night friend! Carole
Dear Bettie! I’m coughing and am hoping it’s not a cold I’m getting. I napped for 4 hours and just woke up and it’s 9:00 pm, so am going to try and go back to sleep within an hour. I’ve had to put on a winter comforter on my bed as it rained pretty much the whole day and it’s cool out there. Hubby finally filed a police report on the "moose" hitting his new truck. He even drew a funky picture of a moose on the report, but to me it looks more like a dog. So now I have to take it to the police station here tomorrow. Also have a haircut appointment tomorrow so I was going to town anyways. Glad you got blessed with that parking space. Toe is still sore and I accidentally walked into a laying down dog with my sore toe. One night I was walking in the dark and fell completely over a sleeping dog and landed on my hands over the big dog. I thought for sure I was going to break something but luckily I didn’t. How is the weather today in Illinois?? I saw the story and pictures of the bus crash- very sad. Isn’t that the busline that Larry uses?? Carole
Dear Bettie! It rained all day today and the temperature was 13 Celcius. People had on coats and hoodies. I woke up during the night as I was cold. Had both windows open and was covered with a sheet and thin blanket. My son-in-law is over at the mobile putting in more flooring but it’s a slow process as he’s working by himself. I went to town and picked up the plaque for the scattering of the ashes and it looks really nice. Did a bunch of other errands and turns out I had three weekly newspapers so it’s been over 2 weeks since I picked up the mail. That’s so unlike me not to go get it. I bet if I was expecting a cheque of some sort, I would have gone before this. I’m tired today. Sounds like you’re getting yourself organized with laundry, groceries, and having touched up the railings. I sure hope you don’t have to walk 2 blocks with groceries with your knee being so injured. Carole
Dear Bettie! I remember during final exams in university we would get bomb threats called in. Probably some lunatic that wasn’t ready to write the exam. That would sure mess up an airport’s flights and the connecting ones for people. I do hope that you two get together and have that drink, and reconnect. Is that guy married/single/ or otherwise?? I’m hoping my son-in-law shows up today to do some more flooring and that I at least have a kitchen floor before he goes back to work. We are paying him and I told him I would pay him as he went. I am doing laundry and should run into town to do a few more errands like pick up my mail which I haven’t done in about 2 weeks, and pick up the memorial plaque for my MIL’s scattering of her ashes this weekend. Carole
Dear Debbie! I honestly don’t think that it is pride that is keeping him from treating you kindly. He is frustrated with the situation of you now asking that some of your ***** be met. He knows that he is unable to sustain being there emotionally for any woman, long-term. He doesn’t have it in him to be able to give on that level as he is so consumed with getting his own ***** met, that he scarcely recognizes that others have ***** as well. The fact that he’s a hoarder is no accident. Hoarders from what I understand feel safe and secure with their hoard. They relate better to objects than to people and often have had troubled interpersonal relationships throughout their lives. Living with emotionally abusive partners makes us ill emotionally, and often don’t even recognize how ill we are till we have had space and distance from the relationship, be it work or personal relationships. I wish you the very best Debbie. Carole
Dear Bettie! Good to hear that you got the painting done on your balcony. So did you get to go for a drink with the old friend? My son-in-law came today and got the laminate down on another room so now all that’s left is a small hallway, small bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and living room. I still have some painting to do but will do that with a tarp after the flooring is down. And of course there’s baseboards and more cleaning, but it’ll all get done. I hung some of my pictures today. That’s me, often putting the cart before the horse. No flooring but I got pictures. Carole
Dear Debbie! I’m so sorry that this man is treating you so terribly. Him pushing you awake towards the wall is not passive aggressive behavior, it’s aggressive behavior. He is angry that you have changed the rules, and that you are not that quiet girl who asked for nothing. He’s probably angry because he sees the writing on the wall that he is going to lose medical and dental coverage, and nobody will be there to buy the groceries, ****, and clean. He’s tried to make you think that there are other women lined up to take your place, when in reality, nobody is going to move in with him and his horde of musical instruments, etc. And women once they get to know him and his selfish behavior, won’t stick around. As well as some of the things you have shared with me. He could put an ad in the classified and it should read: Wanted good-looking woman to move in with a hoarder. Willing to **** and clean with nothing in return. You will pay rent and purchase all the groceries. I will drive your vehicle and you will pay for the fuel. You will be woken up nightly when I get into bed. Hope you don’t require much sleep. Everything will be about me with no consideration of your *****. I will work about 20 hours a week and hang out with my friends, and you will almost always not be welcome to join us. You must have dental and medical insurance as I have none. And last but not least, must be willing to accept that I have an addiction to …………
Hi Jim! Sounds like you’re going to have some real accountability with a joint account with your spouse. That is a huge financial barrier you have put in. Way to go on your clean time! If you haven’t been able to tell your wife about the extent of your gambling debts, how are you going to be able to pay them off, without her knowing about it? My husband knows I have a gambling addiction but I have never told him how much money I gambled away over the years. It would have served no purpose and I would have paid for it by being bullied for many years. Everybody has to do what they feel is best for them I believe. Carole
Dear Bettie! Your knee pain and my toe that is not healing very fast as it is still swollen and hurts when I’m on my feet a lot. What a pair we are! Last night we had a big electrical storm that was almost as good as a fireworks display. So today the humidity is high, which is not pleasant. I looked out my window today and the leaves are turning yellow, which means fall is not far away. Spent my day cleaning and organizing a bit. Carole
Way to go for your brother for all he’s doing for you. And of course to you for the hard work of sanding and scraping. My puttering around day turned into showering the screens for the windows. None were dirty except one, but they had all gathered pollen, so thought best to do them before now. And endless loads of bedding, and organizing! You can come now; your bed is ready. Now I’m alternating between vaccuming dog hair and cleaning the kitchen. Then I’m not going to do any more work for today. I am without a vehicle as I took my son-in-law’s truck back as he needs it Tuesday evening to pull his boat home from the marina. Less temptation to be places I shouldn’t be. lol! Carole
Dear Bettie! How nice of your brother to come over and help you with the balcony. You will have something else to focus on for a couple of days and if you’re like me, you’ll stand back and admire the finished product. And you’ll know that it was a job well done. I’m just puttering around here today, not accomplishing a lot, but it’s a hot Sunday so I should be taking a down day. Best to stay inside kind of day. Carole
Dear Bettie! Feeling blue will pass as it is probably hormone driven. Debbie has met, I have met you, as well as others on this site, and we still want to be close friends with you. I wonder why that would be?? Carole
Just my opinion Bettie, but I think you have a self-image problem more than a weight problem. You are letting one thing you don’t like about yourself define who you are. I adopted this motto many years ago, "what you see is what you get. If you don’t like it, move on!" Carole