[desdemona]

Dear (((Liz))) Way to go for having power tools and especially for knowing how to use them! LOL! I am happy to hear that you are recognizing that you have done too much for your daughter and ex-son-in-law, and that has perhaps enabled them to not take as much responsibility for their son, as they should have. I do hope that you can volunteer at the rest home as so many of those seniors are lonely. Hiking sounds wonderful as long as there aren’t any mountain lions around. I totally get what you’re saying about having never lived for yourself. It is time that you start doing whatever pleases Liz. Habitat for Humanity would love you as a volunteer as well, I’m sure. You go girl!!! Carole

[desdemona]

Dear (((P)))! I wasn’t sure where to post to you, but here goes! History is NOT destiny! Calm down by doing some deep breathing exercises, and can think clearly. Have a shower or a bath to relax further. Remind yourself what your relapses have cost you in the past emotionally and financially. Remind yourself that your little family deserves better from you. Start writing lines till you can get to a GA meeting. Maybe write something like ” I deserve better than a life of compulsively gambling, and so does my family. I could lose everything I have.” Let me know how you made out! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi Jonathan! I have been utilizing the GT gambling site for the past 2 1/2 years and have been in recovery for close to 3 years. That site was a Godsend to me! We judge ourselves so harshly when we slip in our recovery. When I would come back to post about a slip, I received nothing but unconditional support and some needed advice on continuing to work recovery. I have had many slips in my 3 year recovery, but have to say that most of my days have been gamble free. The only advice I can give you is to never give up on recovery, as there is a sane way to live out there, and it is much more rewarding than living in anxiety, fear, and depression. One day at a time! Such a brilliant concept! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi (((Bonkers)))! I don’t know if you remember me as I used to post under Carole8755. I’ve been around the GT site for about 2 1/2 years. You are an inspiration with all your gamble free time. It sounds like you have a wonderful wife who has been there for you during your recovery. Staying gamble free goes a long way to healing the hurts we have inflicted on those we love. Grandchildren are such blessings!! Carole

[desdemona]

Today is December 11th and I have not gambled in December. I will be away till December 17th so will be safe from gambling for at least that time. I can only remain gamble free a day at a time. Carole

[desdemona]

Dear (((Liz)))! I know just how much you love your grandson, and how much you have tried to protect him from some of the not so good decisions his parents have made. Kudos to you for that! But I do think that you should do some things for yourself that give you pleasure. We’re so used to being caregivers, that we don’t provide care to ourselves. I’m guilty of the same thing. Come January, I will be taking a course on how to use power tools and then am going to get involved with Habitat for Humanity. What one thing would you most like to do for yourself that you think you would enjoy?? Carole

[desdemona]

Nice to see you posting again (((sad)))! I’m curious as to what course you took that is making you feel like your thinking is clearer. Carole

[desdemona]

Hi (((slotjunkie)))! It’s been a long while since I posted to you. I used to post under Carole8755. It’s good to see that you still are on the recovery train, even though you got off at a few unscheduled stops! I have been in recovery for 3 years though I’ve had many slips along the way. My gambling became much more often after my brother died suddenly. I didn’t have the skills to cope with his death. Sorry you lost your Mom! I can understand wanting to escape the crushing grief. It’s great that you are seeking help and support, as this is a disease that thrives on secrecy, and in my opinion, cannot be arrested without the support of people who understand the addiction. Take one day at a time, and any day that is gamble free is a good day. Progress not perfection! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi Trinitysky! I sincerely hope that you can find work soon, and start repaying your past employer. That plus the fact that you are gamble free and attending meetings, will bode well when you finally go to court. Courts are seeing more and more cases of compulsive gamblers embezzling money to feed their addiction. There was a gal I met through another gambling recovery site that was sure that she was going to be sentenced to jail time as she had embezzled a LOT of money from her employer. She had built a nice gamble free life since she had been charged, and was afraid she would lose her job, apartment, freedom, etc if she went to jail. The judge in her case recognized that jail time would serve no purpose for her as she was addressing her addiction, and she did not go to jail. I live in Alberta, Canada and have to say that the CEO of the alcohol and drug commission here embezzled money from that organization to gamble, so it’s not an uncommon thing for cgs to do. It doesn’t make it right but it makes it understandable. I would suggest that you keep doing what you’re doing so that you can have your progress to present to the court, and hope and pray that you have an enlightened judge. One day at a time, and you will find a job. Just keep looking! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi thewizefox! I enjoyed reading your post. It just goes to show that everybody’s recovery is different. I believe that you are right when you say that an addict shouldn’t try and go back to work too soon, if they haven’t been working for a time. For many of us, we don’t have the emotional stability or the coping skills to deal with big changes in our life, plus battle our addiction. I find that as I age, I don’t cope as well. We can do what we can do, and that’s all. Way to go on asking for support. For a lot of us cgs, we have problems asking for support, as we don’t feel worthy of someone helping us. Putting some structure in our lives helps fill the hole that stopping compulsive gambling left. Wishing you a blessed Christmas season! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi Nancy! I don’t know if you remember me (Carole) but I remember you. You are doing brilliantly with your recovery, and I hope you are proud of your accomplishment. I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s cancer diagnosis and I do hope that he is cured. I can totally understand why he would want to gamble to escape, even though it isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. Good for you for not going with him, when he goes. I hope you have a blessed holiday season! Carole

[desdemona]

Hi SamSam! One of the biggest things I have learned in the almost 3 years I’ve been working recovery is: Progress not perfection, and One Day at a Time. If recovery had required perfection, I wouldn’t be here. Slips can be valuable learning lessons. They teach us when we are most vulnerable to gamble so that we can safeguard ourselves in the future. I had many slips in my recovery, but I’m still battling forward, a day at a time. I’m sorry that you have no money and haven’t bought groceries. Are you going to be OK? Do you have family/friends/social service organization/food bank that can help you out with that for the next couple of weeks? There is real hope that you can live in recovery and have a different life for yourself. You will get back the coping skills you used to have, and develop new skills to deal with everyday life, if you stay in recovery. If you fall, get right back to recovery. This is a disease that requires support from others to arrest. Carole

[desdemona]

The over the counter sinus medication seems to be helping though I’m not well by any stretch of the imagination. Today is Wednesday, and we fly out Friday morning. I’m hoping I feel considerably better by then, as I’m sure nobody wants to sit beside me hacking and coughing on an airplane. I’ve reconsidered my goal of losing any weight during December due to going on our trip and the holiday season. I am simply going to try and maintain the weight I lost instead. I want to be able to treat myself this month. Recovery is going good, with no urges to gamble. I had considered going into residential treatment just to give my recovery a boost, but have decided that I know what to do to stay gamble free and where the resources I need to do that, are. I just haven’t gone to any support groups since I moved to the city. It was interesting that I left a message for a gambling addiction counsellor at a treatment centre, and his voice mail said something to the effect that he wished the caller “good fortune.” It made me wonder if he understood gambling addiction. Maybe I’m just overanalyzing what he said. I’m feeling lonely today and I can’t figure out how the chat groups work. Carole

[desdemona]

My granddaughter showed up at my house unexpectedly and went to the pharmacy and the grocery store to get me essentials, that I didn’t feel well enough to get for myself. She even did a quick vacuum of my place as the cat hair may be one of the reasons I’m still feeling poorly. Not to mention the fact that I keep smoking in spite of having a cold. I’m my worse enemy! On a sad note, one of my 8 year old granddaughter’s teacher has a year old baby who is hospitalized as the baby has leukemia. When you live in a small town like my granddaughter does, and go to a small school, you get close to your teachers. The teacher had just come back to school from maternity leave when her baby was diagnosed. The school is having a bake sale to raise money for this family, and teachers from other local schools are also providing baking. We think we have problems but our problems are millionaire problems compared to what some people face. Looking for something meaningful to do this Christmas, donate blood and/or register with the bone marrow registry. We can all make a difference in the world. Carole

[desdemona]

Thanks P for the kind post. I don’t know yet if I’ll be a match for the person who needs bone marrow, so I’m not a donor yet. Just a potential donor! I left a message for Habitat for Humanity and I saw on their website they have training sessions on how to use tools in January. I hope those sessions are indoors! I hate the cold! My kitties are loving all the face time they are having with me, since I stopped working. Carole

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