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Dear (((Cat)))! Winter here in Alberta has been a long cold one as well, but having spent 26 days in your city, I can say that yours has been much colder and more snow has fallen, so I feel for you. When you said that this will be your 4th counsellor in 3 years, it reminded me of my sister who had 2 psychiatrists die on her when she was getting counselling. If a person has rejection/abandonment issues it can be triggering. When a person doesn’t feel good about the way they look, it affects how we see the world and how we interact with it. I was doing well with my weight loss efforts till I spent those days in your city. I haven’t been able to get back on track and have gained the weight I lost, back. I too feel stuck in a rut with my life. But only I can change that, and I don’t know what that is going to take. But you’re gamble free for a very long time, so that’s a HUGE achievement. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! Carole
That’s the thing (((Liz))) is when our parents, aunts and uncles pass on, then it moves us to the front of the line in terms of our generation passing on as well. It’s good that your mother visited with them last year. The Aunt that is 91 years old is your mother’s sister, right? Any plans to take your mother to see her again? Carole
Dear (((Liz))))! Sorry to hear that your Uncle passed away. It was good of you to take your Mom to visit last year. Carole
Dear (((Bettie)))! Thank you for the telephone call the other day. It was nice to hear your voice and to get support. Hope that you are over your cold/sinus problems, and that you feel more confident about how your insulin pump operates. Carole
Dear (((P)))! Congratulations on every single gamble free day you have ever had. You fight really hard for your recovery, so that says something about you. You are a strong woman as you have managed not to gamble in spite of going through those times where all you can think about is gambling. That takes strength and courage, and self-discipline. I have been in an emotional funk lately relating to my “relationship” with Danny. It’s not possible to be self-determinating when a person is financially dependent on a separated spouse. The weather is warming up and we should soon see spring weather here. I am the same way you are in terms of not wanting to socialize much at all. but I’ve always been like that, so I don’t worry about it. I stay in my suite for days on end until I have a real need to go out such as needing groceries. Hope you’re having a good day today! Carole
Dear (((Liz)))! Please forgive me for not acknowledging your husband’s first year death anniversary. You made it through that first year brilliantly. You are like the phoenix that rises from the ashes. You do seem to be much busier since you moved from the city, with helping out your daughter and being Grandma to your grandson. Way to go on selling your condo!! One less thing to concern yourself with. Your Mom is a cg?? Who would have guessed? Now maybe there is a partial explanation as to why she doesn’t like herself and tries to bring others down to her unhappiness level. I have not been posting due to the ups and downs in my relationship with Danny, and the confusion it has created for me. Danny finally heard from his employer about the unprofessional behavior he exhibited. He is unwelcome to return to both job sites, which means that the only possible job he may have with this company is in Edmonton working on new policies and procedures. There will be no overtime, no hardship pay as he is no longer working up north, so it will be a huge drop in pay for him. He is aware that he cannot stay with me if he is working in Edmonton. He wants me to move back to the country so that I can clean and manage the renters’ house, citing that I will make more money doing that than I will in a job in my field. I had a job interview yesterday and was told that they had been interviewing this week, and that they will make a decision next week as to who they bring back for a second interview with the Executive Director. I interviewed well though I was a bit nervous. I seem to have lost some of my confidence when it comes to interviewing. Hope you’re having a good day today Liz!! Carole
((((Bettie))) Call the Employee Advocate!! That shut that down quick! Good for you! You really are learning to advocate for yourself. I wouldn’t have had the guts to say that, but happy that you did! Are you going to go see Debbie on your week off? I’d invite you here but I have my granddaughter living with me, and she is sleeping on the couch. It sucks that I only have a one bedroom, but that will change whether I stay in the city or go back to the country. Carole
Dear (((Peacegirl)))! Thank you for sharing your story on here! I could never have predicted that I too would have become a gambling addict. Slot machines seem like innocent things to play, but the cold hard truth, is that there is so much science that goes into making them highly addictive. There just isn’t the awareness out there of how addictive they are, like there is for drug and alcohol addictions. We know that if a person tries cocaine or crystal meth, that they will probably be instantly addicted, so many of us don’t even try it, for that very reason. When my brother died just over 5 years ago, in a tragic accident, my gambling spiralled out of control. My brother hit a moose while riding his motorcycle on a sunny Sunday afternoon in September. I believe that until a person loses a sibling to death, nobody can really understand what it is to go through that. Keep coming back to post and read other people’s stories. In time you will develop some great friendships with some pretty special people here, both compulsive gamblers and staff. Carole
Woowho (((Bettie)))! Extra cash is always welcome when a person is in recovery. Great to hear you have a new PC! How’s Debbie doing?? She doesn’t grace us with her posts often. Carole
(((Cat))) I believe that it’s OK to do the “poor me” for a short period of time, as long as we don’t get stuck there. You are facing the prospect of a life altering decision of retiring, with no firm plans of what you’re going to do with all that extra time on your hands. Reduced income and a husband that drinks too much are legitimate concerns. Will retirement be an excuse for your husband to increase his drinking as he will no longer have to be responsible for holding down a job? Will that affect you?? Yes it will! When I look at you (((Cat))), I don’t see a person who should lose weight. I see a wonderful caring understanding woman who laughs easily and is fun to be around. I tend to compare myself with (((Liz)) who is a tower of strength and courage. I always come up short compared to her, but I’m not her, and will never be able to make all the changes she has made. She quit smoking and stayed quit during her husband’s diagnosis and subsequent death and through her grief and bereavement. As we work our recovery, we change. I became unable to tolerate Danny’s abusive behavior towards me for another minute. It happens very often when an addict recovers that spouses/partners grow estranged as one person is growing and changing, and the other one isn’t. Relationships often don’t survive a spouse recovering. Vera told me about divorce Irish style, which had me laughing out loud!! Because many Irish people are staunch Catholics, they do not divorce, but rather keep living together, but do their own thing and have their own life, while still living with their spouse. Carole
It was so nice to talk with you yesterday on the phone, and it was reassuring that you weren’t in crisis, but rather just pondering retirement and your life. I hope to be able to visit you if I can travel to see my mother this summer. She isn’t going to be around forever! That will depend on what my work situation is. If I’m working, I won’t be able to take time off. Carole
(((Liz))) You’re no slouch if you can do 50 minutes of exercise at the gym! That’s amazing for anyone, but especially for you, as you had a heart attack. Sorry that the insurance company can’t get its act together and stop phoning for your husband. When I worked for the federal government we used to call our clients and do reviews over the phone. I called an elderly lady and asked to speak to her husband only to be informed that he had died. I felt so horrible but the widow had not informed us of his death so I had no way of knowing. There is no excuse that the insurance company keeps doing this to you. I remember someone telling me that it was a shot in the heart when they would receive mail addressed to their loved one who had died.It’s going to take you time before you can get your house and yard to a condition where everything is at a point where you’re satisfied. That’s what home ownership is all about! Good to hear that your tax bill isn’t going to be as much as you dreaded. That’s always great news!! I want to come see your new digs, but my life is up in the air right now, and hopefully I’ll be working in the near future. Carole