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Dear (((Liz)))! You are in a tough position with your daughter right now. That was totally an attack on you when she mentioned in front of your grandson about how you “acted.” First of all, she is ungrateful that you would take them on a vacation that I’m sure you paid all or most of the expenses. Second of all, she should not involve her son in adult issues, in any way. He is a child with a developing brain of a child, no matter how smart he is. She should not have put him in the middle of her perceived issues with you. Like you, when my grandchildren are with me, they have to listen to me or there are consequences. I have to agree with Vera, that your daughter is taking the lazy way out by not consistently disciplining her son. She is not teaching him appropriate behavior for social situations or boundaries, or self-discipline. I would let the situation cool down before you say anything to your daughter. She is bound to be defensive about how she parents. I know for me that when someone tells me something I don’t like or is actually true and I don’t want to face that truth, I get defensive and think it’s the other person that has the problem. But then I think about it, and if there’s truth I can admit it to myself, and then do something different. Personally I wouldn’t say anymore about it to your daughter, as she already knows that your parenting styles are different. Keep enforcing appropriate behavior when you’re with your grandson. Limit your interactions with your daughter to a one day plan, so that you don’t get on each other’s nerves. The spa weekend you’re going to have to do the best you can to get along with her. Who was going to look after your grandson while you’re getting treatments? If he’s not going with you and your daughter, then there will be no conflict about parenting issues. Just my 2 cents (((Liz)))! Carole
Dear (((Cat)))! I do feel like I am living in a snow globe and that some jerk is shaking it in a sadistic way. I am so done with snow and cold, as you are! I am looking forward to complaining about how hot it is outside!!! How are the basement renos and organizing coming along? When is your daughter moving in? There is nothing new under the sun when it comes to gambling, so we’d best keep our bills in our purse, instead of allowing some greedy government to devour our cash. Gambling is habit and distraction from life for me. You have done exceptionally well with your recovery. Way to go!! Carole
Dear (((Bettie)))! Happy belated Birthday! It’s good to hear that so many people made sure that you had a great birthday! The drag show must have been a hoot! Some of those “gals” look more like women, than some actual women. The offer of employment is a good thing, especially with the retention of your wage and years of service. I remember you mentioning before that you had heard that the new owners may cut back on wages. It sounds like your life is on an even keel right now, which is good. I hope that you get to realize your desire to go to Mexico in the fall. Where in Mexico would you be going?? My new cat Emma and Ferris are still scrapping it out at times. I bought some new active toys, hoping that if Emma gets more stimulation, she may be less quarrelsome. Ferris is now instigating some of the fights now. I wish they could all get along or at least tolerate each other without scrapping. Time will tell! Carole
Dear (((Liz)))! Today being Saturday means that you are on your trip with your daughter and grandson. I hope that it is a fun, refreshing time for you. Danny is leaving for Phoenix Sunday at midnight for 8 days to go golfing. I am doing well at not gambling though I’ve had thoughts and urges but have not given in to them. You my friend have done unbelievably well with your recovery, in spite of everything you have gone through, especially with the death of your husband. And don’t let ANYONE try and make you feel bad that you have what you have as a result of your husband’s death. Your husband and you worked hard for what you have. Your mother has a mortgage because she made that choice. It took me many decades to accept the fact that I was never going to get what I wanted emotionally from my mother. Maybe think ahead of responses you could say when she says things like she has a mortgage and you don’t. Maybe say that she made that choice. If she says something like it must be nice to be able to buy anything you want, maybe ask her what she is lacking that she can’t buy. Unhappy people seem to want everybody around them to be unhappy! I wonder why that is? Carole
Dear (((Liz)))!
I have to agree with what Cat said about as mothers, we revel in our children’s accomplishments and successes. I too don’t understand why mothers would be jealous of their children. There is something abnormal with parents that don’t support their children emotionally and financially if there is a legitimate need, and the parent is able to do so. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and pay no mind to your mother’s comments about anything you buy or choose to do with YOUR money. Maybe she thought you should share the money you received after your husband died. People can get really crazy expectations in situations like that. She’s not going to change so send her home like I do with Danny, the first time he misbehaves or says something I don’t like. Or leave her house if you’re there. The yard border you did looks really nice; I saw it on facebook. Carole