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  • in reply to: Woke up wishing I was dead today #17494
    deelaven
    Participant

    Hi Bettie, don’t know what is going on but I have urges today also. It has been 26 days since I last gambled and I havn’t had urges until today. I knew they would rear their ugly head. Sooooo, just like you are doing, I need to busy myself with other things. Gonna go call a friend. Let us both stay strong. Dee

    in reply to: Woke up wishing I was dead today #17462
    deelaven
    Participant

    Bettie, it is a small world. I can tell you that what I miss most about the area is the FOOD. OMG, pizza, hot dogs, italian beef…can’t get that stuff anywhere else. I used to work at Motorola in Shaumburg and the start of my gambling problems was at the Arlington Race Track. That is where I first went out of control and realized I have the addictive personality. I quit cold turkey for about 15 years. Then I went to Vegas, won some big money, and the monster was released again. I’m 2 weeks gamble free and I hope 15 years from now I will be writing about how I quit while living in Missouri in 2010.  – Dee

    in reply to: Woke up wishing I was dead today #17458
    deelaven
    Participant

    Hi Bettie, tell your "friend" that the reason you gained weight is because you are a human being! I know there are two sides to every story but geez, the nerve of some people. I’m glad to see you are doing well. Hey, I’m originally from Arlington Heights IL. Moved away about 20 years ago. Your friend, Dee

    in reply to: Woke up wishing I was dead today #17443
    deelaven
    Participant

    Hi Bettie, I thought about you today and wondered how you are doing? Sounds as if you are well. Good for you for working out. I need to get on that train as well. A couple of years ago I tore my achilles tendon and haven’t got back into the routine since. Also, I gambled to darn much. No time for exercise. Now I do and I will get there. Glad to hear your progress. Your friend, Dee

    in reply to: Woke up wishing I was dead today #17437
    deelaven
    Participant

    Hi Bettie, just ready your post. I know what you mean about the lonliness. At one point in my life I wanted everyone to just leave me alone, well I learned be careful what you wish for! Through gambling I created that life and now I have shut myself out from friends and social events. It does get very lonely and a day at the casino took care of that. I’m keeping myself busy today but I need to put myself out there and make some new friends so I have something to do. I’m scared of making new friends and making an effort. It is hard and opens up the possibility of rejection but the alternative is not the answer either.

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