[davlen]

Hi Kathryn.
So pleased for you that your efforts to change your life around and stop gambling are giving you the rewards you deserve. a simple smile from a loved one. when my son or wife smiled when i was gambling i used to feel guilt. i didnt deserve them to be happy. Strange how the mind works whilst gambling. itas all about me me me. now, like you the most rewarding things are free. such as a smile from Brea. keep doing what you are doing, one day at a time, and the smiles will go on for miles! all around the world as your gt buddies share in your success!
Kind regards Dave 

[davlen]

Hi Kathryn,
Thankyou for you post. ive just been catching up on yours and i am impressed at how well you are doing on the gambling front despite all that your personal life is throwing at you.  this emotional stress can be such a major trigger to make you gamble yet you are still staying strong. i hope the test turns out the way you want. i will say this tho. you cant change the result tho you can choose not to gamble. that way day by day you will grow stronger and more able to cope with everything life throws your way. 
Kind regards Dave  

[davlen]

Hi Kathryn,
im so pleased that you got the tickets. im pleased that you got them  for you and your daughter to have a great girlie night/weekend.
im even more happy that you are on this site no matter what hubby thinks. you are doing this for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mum is a very humble and unasuming lady. the one thing i remember from my youth that she said to me was.
Look after number one cos if you cant, who else will?
at the time i couldnt relate this to gambling. [i was about 4 tho even then i would bet i would be the first upstairs or the first awake! lol]
Now i realise that i had to stop gambling for me.
She also said make yourself happy and everyone you can make smile along the way is a bonus.
what a wonderfull woman my mum is!
its taken me 20 years of gambling and over 10 months in recovery to think of those wise words.
it tells its own story.
i love your posts, good times, bad times. always honest.
Regards Dave 

[davlen]

Hi Kathryn,
im not 6 foot 4 tho the emotional effect was the same. your daughter cannot possibly understand what you have been through with gambling tho she does understand when mum is doing something positive in her life. well done on re self excluding and well done on making your daughter the person she is! another step along the way  to realising what a special person you are. yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mistery. todays a gift cos its the present.

[davlen]

Hi Kathryn,
Glad to hear you are still going strong. the first couple of weeks are nearly under your belt and you are noticing things that you never would whilst gambling. with the kinder club thing. do you think maybe you based your oppinion as everyone there being bitchy as sub consiously you knew your time would be better off helping out with the kids tho the gambling part of your brain told you it was much more rewarding and fulfilling to gamble?
 my biggest realization since my ongoing recovery is just how precious the everyday things are. i bought my little boy a present yesterday as i had said if he could be a big boy and go without his dummy at night then i would reward him. his face as i showed him his present was priceless! he felt proud of hiself and excited with his new toy. whilst gambling i would never have bothered to encourage him in the first place, and, its not xmas or birthday. why would i spend gambling money on a gift he probably wont play with?
i guess what im trying to say is gambling makes us cyinical and only when we stop does our try character truely develop.
The real Kathryn is developing and im sure you will become a person everyone will love even more, tho most importantly, you will grow to love yourself.
great to catch up with your progress. pleas keep posting.
Regards Dave 

[davlen]

Hi Kathryn.
how great it is to read how many barriers you have put in place to help you fight this terrible addiction!
you should rightly be so proud of yourself. self exclution and telling people close to you are so important in that it will give you the support you need. i may have missed it tho do you still control your own finances? is it possible to give you husband control of this for a while?
you’ve done great. please keep posting and reading.
Regards Dave

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