[Dark Energy]

hai Kel84, saya tidak yakin apakah saya benar-benar dapat membantu tetapi saya dapat memberi Anda perspektif sisi lain karena saya memiliki kecanduan ini dan saya berjuang selama 4 tahun. pertama itu tergantung pada kepribadiannya, saya bisa malu pada ayah atau ibu saya tetapi saya bisa mengekspos diri saya kepada saudara perempuan saya jika dia tidak memberi tahu orang tua saya. mungkin kasus yang sama dengan dia. cobalah untuk berbicara dengannya satu lawan satu, berjanjilah padanya bahwa Anda tidak akan mengeksposnya kepada orang tua Anda. katakan padanya bahwa Anda mengkhawatirkannya dan Anda perlu membantunya apa pun masalahnya, tunjukkan bahwa Anda tidak akan menghakiminya dan Anda hanya perlu membantunya menemukan solusi untuk masalahnya. (dan jika dia mengekspos dirinya kepada Anda maka tepati janji Anda dan jangan mengekspos dia, pertahankan di antara Anda berdua. itu sudah cukup, Anda bisa mengatasinya bersama, tidak perlu semua orang tahu). penjudi merasa banyak bersalah dan malu dan beberapa akan lebih memilih untuk mati dan tidak mengekspos diri mereka sendiri. sampai sekarang saya tidak mengekspos diri saya kepada keluarga saya tetapi jika saudara perempuan saya mendekati saya dengan cara ini, saya akan melakukannya. coba lebih dari satu kali pertama buka topik secara umum tanpa menyebutkan perjudian, selanjutnya buat cerita tentang di mana hasilnya adalah orang tersebut memiliki kecanduan judi dan Anda meragukan hal yang sama terjadi dengannya. Saya kira maksimal pada ketiga kalinya dia akan mengekspos dirinya sendiri (jika ini terjadi pada saya pasti saya akan). kedua apakah Anda yakin itu judi? itu mungkin jenis kecanduan lain, bagaimanapun, mendukung dan tidak menghakiminya. jangan bahas apa yang hilang diskusikan jalan mulai sekarang, apa yang hilang tidak akan dipulihkan dengan perjudian, dan menyimpan penyesalan tentang apa yang hilang akan memicu perjudian. ketiga, dia mungkin tidak tahu bahwa dia adalah seorang penjudi, saya telah berdagang pasar forex selama dua tahun sebelum saya tahu bahwa saya adalah seorang penjudi kompulsif, saya malu untuk bertanya kepada siapa pun jadi saya mengirim email dengan apa yang terjadi dengan saya ke sebuah terapis online dan balasan datang bahwa saya memiliki perjudian kompulsif, terus terang, saya terkejut saya pikir saya berdagang selama dua tahun dan ternyata saya berjudi. ada banyak hal yang tidak diketahui di sini, Anda perlu mencoba dengannya untuk mengetahui cara membantunya. sekarang dari perspektif lain, Anda melakukannya dengan baik dengan menyembunyikan uang darinya, dia seharusnya tidak memiliki akses ke uang ekstra, uang itu adalah obat dalam kecanduan judi. ada banyak pekerjaan yang harus dilakukan tetapi pertama-tama, Anda harus membuatnya mengekspos dirinya kepada Anda.

[Dark Energy]

It is day#4. Planning ahead for the next few months and looking back to see what went wrong and how to avoid it next time.
looking back on this bloody road of recovery, I can’t say there is no progress but I can say the progress that I have done is depressing. I have tried many ways from willpower, cognitive thinking, road blockers …etc it works somehow but always my demons find a way to break through and gambles again. This time I have switched to crypto trading I couldn’t resist the temptations it is everywhere on the internet in the office, everywhere I go is someone will open the crypto subject, it is a mania .. a bubble and I know that but the day trader in me couldn’t resist the temptation to day trade this clear bull market. I have started with a small amount and small leverage 1:3 to maximize my profits then as usual the gambler kicks in and the leverage moves to the maximum of 1:50 and what started as a trade ends up as gambling with all the bad package that comes with it from ignoring every aspect of my life.. my mind was only thinking about trading watching the market 24/7 forcing orders …..etc.

The key element in recovery is the financial aspect, after paying the gambling debts, how you will progress financially? with the money, the temptation will increase so how to deal with it?
I am single living alone, my family in a different country so the option of handing over the financial control to someone else is not available.
to the irony, I think I should get married not for marriage but to give financial control to the future wife (I guess she should hold a degree in accounting).
I can’t find a way to solve the financial part without handing over the control to someone else.
if anyone has an idea please tell me, this is the main factor in my relapse.

[Dark Energy]

Here we go again!!
a few days back I was watching the movie CRISIS it is about a new drug that has no addictive side effect… however in the movie, there was a scene where scientist are showing the result of their experiments to their manager where all the rats under the experiment died out except one rat didn’t die yet, still alive licking from a small tube that contains the addicted substance. the rats didn’t stop licking that tube they continuously licked it and ignored everything including eating until they died.

somehow I can’t forget this scene, it pops up in my mind a few times a day. it is not new information I have seen similar things before but during watching this movie I was exactly doing what that rat was doing. I was day trading cryptocurrencies with high leverage. I was so obsessed with this activity to a degree where I have ignored everything in my life exactly like that rat.

day#1 again, I don’t feel really bad because I didn’t lose money in fact I gained some but the feeling that I have no control is unbearable.
we are living in a world where money and knowing how to handle it ( saving, investment ….etc) have a huge impact on your progress in life.
and losing the trust that you can handle the money is unbearable.

that’s it for now, I have to sleep early today to recover from the lack of sleep ” I was like that rat for 3 weeks”

[Dark Energy]

hi wally,
to summarize there are few steps that you need to take :
1: create roadblocks: you need to make it almost impossible for you to gamble, as you said now you still feeling the pain from the last gamble and after few days your mind will convince you that you can win and the cycle will continue…
so what you need to do is now at this state of mind think about how to make it impossible for you to gamble. willpower alone will not work so you need external factors that will prevent you from gambling.

for instance, you can ban yourself in the casinos that are near you, don’t keep cash with you, give the financial control to your partner or family member. the money is the drug here if there is money the gambling urges will start. install web blockers on your devices to prevent you from accessing gambling sites.

2: you need a safety net, if you relapsed you should not lose everything you have, if you have savings give the control to a family member. don’t take any loans, close the credit cards, you need to reduce the access to money.

there is a lot to be said but as a start, if you prevent access to the money you will solve 80% of the problem.

hope you all the best.

[Dark Energy]

Hi Kin,
thanks for checking on me, I was busy in life I didn’t visit the forum for a while.
so far I am OK. no gambling addiction, no thoughts at all regarding Forex trading.
today is the 51st day since the last bet and the 116th day since the last gambling loss.

life is getting better financially and in other aspects. as long as I am away from gambling then it is just a one-way street for a worth living life.

I hope you are doing well and all the members in here, I will keep visiting the site to stay grounded and to remember that I am a gambler. and the dormant addiction circuit in my mind could be activated at any time.

[Dark Energy]

the 40th day since the last bet, and the 105th day since the last gambling loss.
I can say it is out of my mind now, I don’t think about it. no urges, no regrets nothing… peace of mind.

[Dark Energy]

поздравления R4C, заслужаваш този добър напредък, продължавай все така.

[Dark Energy]

gefeliciteerd R4C, je verdient deze goede vooruitgang, ga zo door.

[Dark Energy]

congrats R4C, you deserve this good progress, keep it up.

[Dark Energy]

hi kin,
thank you for check on me.
Everything is fine it’s the 29th Day since the last bet and the 94th-day since the last gambling loss.
just busy in life. it is much better without gambling.
I hope you are doing well too, we have been struggling with this addiction I guess it is time to have a real long abstinence period.

I watched some youtube lectures for neuroscientists and what I understand is after a one-year GF the brain will recover and if you cross the first year it is most likely you will continue without relapse. so I am looking forward to the one-year target it is a long time but I will do it this time.
hope you all the best

[Dark Energy]

Hi Rapine,
start with the basics.
1: close all your accounts if you gamble online
2: install web blocker.
3: create a safety net to protect you if you relapsed… i.e. don’t keep extra money with you… losing 10$ is nothing compared to losing all your savings.
4: there is no way to win with gambling, if you win you will continue gambling until you lose, if you lose you will continue gambling to win what you lost back… the only way out is to stop and to stop now.
it is a journey towered recovery and it is started now, the above are the points where you can start from but this forum has a lot of real-life stories that you can learn from.
hope you all the best in your recovery.

P.S:
there is a lot a GA meeting on zoom I recommend to attend GA meetings as well.

[Dark Energy]

thank you, Kin for your support.
I have start journaling in this forum 18 months ago, I have really progressed mentally. it is a process of trial and error, it is very personal what can work for me may not work for others.

Day#16 since the last bet, and Day#81 since the last gambling loss.

[Dark Energy]

in a previous post I wrote on 23 August 2020, regarding can a gambler invest? I quoted the below and I was with the optimistic side but now I have changed my mind on this subject.

” Pros and Cons of the Gambler as “Investor”:
Because of the financial risk, the addictive nature, and the easy access to markets these days, some experts believe problem gamblers should never invest. They view the stock market as a breeding ground for problem gambling and the New York Stock Exchange and the NASDAQ as the largest casinos in the world.
Other gambling experts, and most financial advisors, disagree. They argue that investing, like saving for a vacation or a car, gives gamblers a positive focus for their money. It teaches them to once again value money. Perhaps more important, they argue, investing has become a financial necessity for most households today gambling
households included. Achieving such goals as a comfortable retirement, sending children to college, starting a business, or meeting other major financial goals usually can be accomplished realistically only through a sound investment program.
A person doesn’t stop eating just because they have an eating disorder, and gamblers shouldn’t stop investing just because they are addicted to risk.
Most problem gamblers who have abstained from gambling for a while, and who ideally are in recovery programs, should be able to invest as long as the investing program is reasonable, argue proponents.”

I believe now I am with the group that says gamblers should not invest.
my last relapse caused by converting a small amount of money to bitcoin as another way of saving, and I was decided to put a certain amount of 10% of my salary each month on cryptocurrencies as I believe it is the future, however, the gambler part kicks in and I started switching between cryptocurrencies to chase the small profit. this lead to the transfer of the amount from my crypto wallet to my brokerage account where I have relapsed. but it seems I have relapsed in the day when I decided to invest in crypto.
now after a few months from that post, I agree with the group who says the gambler should not invest since it will trigger his addiction.

day#10

• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Dark Energy.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Dark Energy.

[Dark Energy]

Поздравляю Санни с 4 месяцами, у тебя все хорошо, так держать.

[Dark Energy]

congrats Sunny on the 4 months mark,
you are doing really well, keep it up.

[Author]

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