[Dark Energy]

Day#27,
very happy, celebrating my victory against my addiction today, I have received my salary and as planned I didn’t back home until every bill I have is paid, and until I have transferred the extra money to a safe account. what I have now is just enough to cover the rest of my expenses for this month.

glad this payday passed successfully, I celebrated this victory with a nice dinner and a glass of wine, the sad part is I did it alone. but anyhow I have a great mood today, and I have a feeling of achievement.

the next is 15 days from now I am expecting to receive a good payment in the middle of the month I need to plan ahead to win the next battle.

I wish the best to all of you.

[Dark Energy]

Day#26,
tomorrow is payday, and this is the first real challenge in this recovery trial, for the past 26 days I had no extra money with me so it was easy not to gamble, tomorrow I am planning to get rid of all the extra money before I return home.

it is just one day I need to handle it well and it will give me another 15 days of freedom.

[Dark Energy]

Hi Risingphoenix,

keep it up, 15 more days to finish your first year, congratulations you did it, my friend. keep your guard up and you will enjoy a gambling-free life

[Dark Energy]

Hi Gustav,
sorry to hear about your relapse, don’t beat yourself on it I know it is easier be said than done, but now you have these catastrophizing feelings of hopelessness and insecurity about the future and all these bad feelings that you got in the first few days after the relapse, just hang on, this is just a temporary feeling and will fade away mostly within the 1st week.

the only thing that you can do is to start over, learn from this relapse, ask yourself what went wrong, and try to fix that.

and to make it simple it is all about access to money, as I remember you already informed your partner about this addiction, then just give her financial control, this will guarantee that you will not have enough money to relapse.

and look to the positive side you managed to stay gambling free for 72 Days it is a good achievement you should be proud of yourself. you can do it again and you can do more this time.

[Dark Energy]

hi losttwat
nice words, keep it up.

“As if gambling isn’t punishment enough” life is hard enough with all its suffering and adding gambling to it makes it unbearable.. but we have to live it and keep fighting.

[Dark Energy]

hi losttwat
nice words, keep it up.

“As if gambling isn’t punishment enough” life is hard enough with all its suffering and adding gambling to it makes it unbearable.. but we have to live it and keep fighting.

[Dark Energy]

hi risingphoenix
thank you for your support, giving up means suicide and I refuse to lose my life because of this addiction, it took everything from me except my life and I am not gonna let him take it. so I have to keep fighting even if I didn’t win at least I will keep trying.

today is Day#21
this afternoon my I had a few hours where I felt really normal again, with peace of mind, focused at work, and no unknown stress or tension. it seems 3 weeks is really what it needs to get out of the relapse withdrawal symptoms. I know our mood is a changeable thing and any small thing could ruin it, I hope I can maintain at least a few hours every day in this state of mind.

[Dark Energy]

Hi JVR,
thank you for your support, and congratulations on your 10 months GF, you are doing really well, keep it up.
about starting over, it is so exhausting going back to day one every time. but there is no other option I have to keep fighting until I win.

Anyhow today is Day#20, I hope the count will continue.

wish you all the best
DE

[Dark Energy]

Day#18,

[Dark Energy]

Hi Don,
SMART (self-management and recovery training ) is an alternative to GA & AA, their approach is secular and research-based. they have their online meeting ( it is free).

their website http://www.smartrecovery.org , they have a lot of content on youtube search for it.

I have listed below 4 videos from their channel for coping with urges:

[Dark Energy]

Hi Dön,
Thank you for your support.
There is deference between withdrawal symptoms and urges.
Withdrawal symptoms for me last between 3 days to 2 weeks maximum : that inclodes depression, feeling hopless, not able to do the slightest thing ..etc.

Urges : will not go easly reading here in the forum even for those who are about to cross one year they have urges from time to time, so you need to deal with it.
The best thing i read about urges it is like scratching itch it will give you good feeling in the short term but in the long term will has bad affet.

You need to learn how to Coop with urges chapter 4 of smart recovery hand book cover this point. You can find the book online if you didn’t find it i can share it with you.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Dark Energy.

[Dark Energy]

Hi Gustav,
thank you for your support, I hope you all the best my friend.

today is day#10.

[Dark Energy]

Day#8 the withdrawal symptoms faded, and I am on track again.

[Dark Energy]

hi risingphoenix, Laven, Don,
thank you all for your support and kind words,

@risingphoenix,
I know this is the solution, but I can’t do it right now, we all have different circumstances.
I need to arrange my financial situation a bit before doing that.

[Dark Energy]

Day#1.
this is the last post I will write here.
nothing really about the forum but I am feeling ashamed of myself even anonymously here in the forum I am ashamed of myself.
I am ashamed to type again that I am on Day#1. I got all the advice that I need, I read many books, I watch tons of content about gambling addiction, I have created a lot of road blockers, and I have done every possible thing to stop this addiction but I keep relapsing. I really can’t find the way out. I am stuck in this loop of relapses.

today is day#1 but it is different. I am now in a complete financial disaster, hopeless, and defeated really no words can describe what I am feeling now.

so thank you all for your support and advice, unless I managed to overcome this addiction at least for 100 days I am not gonna post any updates. if I relapsed I will keep my miserable story to myself.

wish you all the best
DE

[Author]

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