[Cynthia 712]

Ty. I read something that said “treat your triggers with love”. Im trying to listen today to that. Ty. You people who answered and are trying to help. Its nice to talk to someone who knows and does care. Good things for you kind people. ?

[Cynthia 712]

Thank you, all. I appreciate all words. I miss my meetings, which are cancelled bc of covid. They helped me so much last time.

[Cynthia 712]

Thank you for your kind words. . I have had  so much pressure today. Had an appt with the jeweller- selling my jewellery for scrap value. I’m in total shock as I come to terms with the devastation of my finances. I’m terrified, as my jewellery was my last source of emergency money. I owe Visa 35,500$. My limit is 36,000$.  I’m sick. Before I started gambling really bad again I had it down to 17,000$ ( even though it should’ve been at 0 but I gambled all covid and a little before) 18,000$ later in one month . I think I’m the most terrified because I think if I had money, I’d probably be gambling now. I didnt quit because I’m strong, I quit because I had no more source of funds. I can’t seem to find the higher power, or strength, like the time i quit 7 years ago. Then it was for my children but they’re grown now and independent. I will pray and try to get some sleep. I’m coming down from a few month bender, like an alcoholic I guess. I was gambling every 3 days or at the most every week or ten days. 

Positive today-

1. I will sell my much loved jewellery to ensure I do not bounce checks, bills and have money to run my home.

2. I have self excluded from the casinos I play.

3. I do have a few hundred left, I have  not gambled that.

4. I am 3 days free. Honestly I couldnt tell you how many days Ive been gambling free, I’m in such shock right now.

Going to try and sleep. Ty again. 

[Author]

Posts