[cubsfan2016]

Just an update from my last post – i am so glad that i told my wife everything and not just part of the truth as that has helped us along and start talking – we have seen a counselor together as well as we are both getting one on one counseling too which i think is a great thing. i went to my first support group and just like last time – it was just me and the leader and their assistant but it felt good talking to them and they actually remembered me from last time – this site really helps me because i get to read stories and how others are doing that are going through the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions that i am – It feels so good that i don’t feel like i’m the only one. It kind of feels like a giant support group except just online. My wife and i are doing much better and she is not only talking to me but supporting my recovery 100% and we will be getting through this together. My counselor told me it is good that i am taking responsibility for my actions and willing to face the consequences rather than just use my addiction as an excuse – i feel this is an important step in recovery as well. I also apologized to those that i hurt including my wife’s mother which was very difficult as i am a very proud person and don’t like to show weakness in anyway but this addiction/recovery has truly humbled me to the point that I really don’t care who knows what (yes i am still embarrassed and ashamed) but I am so focused on getting better and putting this part of my life behind me forever that it is ok. Yes, i know i will always be fighting this addiction for the rest of my life – i think that is a very important confession as well as unlike last time i don’t think i can “beat” this or “win” – last time my overconfidence and arrogance was my weakness that lead to my eventual relapse. I hope everyone on here is well and i enjoy reading your updates and responses to mine. i will also be trying to encourage others on here as i go through my recovery.

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