[Cruising247]

I am only working half days this week (Mon-Wed) and usually I would leave the offc, swing by the ATM machine and go play until…. Today, I plan to go home, change clothes and head to the gym. Afterwards start my Spring cleaning. Honestly, I keep sitting here thinking one more time, then I’ll quit. Right now, I really want to go gamble bad. I have approx 30 mins before I get off, and to get that thought out of my head.

[Cruising247]

Hello Hello, Last Day Mar 8th-Day 7. I got up this morning, went to Church, dropped my granddaughter off at home afterwards, had a nice lunch with my husband, and now lounging and watching tv. It’s raining hard outside, so I know I will make it through this day without any problems, gamble free. Yesterday, I almost stopped and bough some scratch off tickets, but I thought about it and decided if I am going to stop gambling that includes buying lottery tickets also. I am trying to take one day at the time, but I can’t wait to get months, and years behind me “gamble free.” This week will be the test, I am working half days Mon-Wed, and I am off Thurs and Fri; but, my plan is to get back in the gym and do some Spring clean in my house. It’s amazing how much weight you gain sitting at a computer gambling for hours, eating free snacks and drinking soft drinks. Believe it or not, my only addiction is gambling, I don’t smoke , drink or do drugs. So pray with me that I can get past this addiction without turning to others.

[Cruising247]

In the Spring of 2011 I took a week off from work, I became very bored. A co-worker told me about some internet cafes’ that opened in town, they are slot machines on a computer. You pay the cashier and you get on the computer, click and it spins, just a slot machine. They had the ducks, clovers, 7s, and etc…. At first I used the excuse that it was fun and relaxing. I realized it was more when I was going through money like mad, and the feeling I would have afterwards. I would call myself crazy, stupid, stupid stupid. Even when I would win, I would sit there until I lose every cent. There was days when I would hit each side of town. My body would be so tired, I would be saying I want to go home, but my car would just take me to that next location. I finally admitted to myself I had gotten in over my head. I searched for a GA mtg in my area, there were none. I searched out counselors, I located one and she said she was the only one who specialized in the area. She suggested I visit a local AA mtg because they basically uses the same 12 steps. I went to one mtg and felt totally uncomfortable…..Well, I only saw the counselor once; I could not afford her, I had gambled all my money away. But, the session did help me to open up to my husband, he has been wonderful through all of this. I have done a lot of praying, asking God “WHY?”, screaming. To fast forward, my last day was March 8, 6 days ago. Because my husband just cant comprehend why I can’t stop and I am a very private person I will continue to cry out to my higher power, and get encouragement from my new friends I hope to meet on this site. I am never going to stop trying, that is not an option.

[Cruising247]

Please excuse all the typos, half way through my comment the tears started flowing….

[Cruising247]

This is the first forum I clicked on. “I am a compulsive gambler.” I started gambling approx 3 years ago, it didnt take long for me to realize it was becoming a habit. I have a full time job, but I am always broke because by the time I pay my bills, the rest goes to the slots (internet cafe’). I have tried on several occasions to stop, I ordered the books, went to a counselor once, because there are no GA Support groups here I stopped in on an AA Meeting and most of all I pray all the time for God to remove the urge to gamble completed. Even though He have not removed it yet, I am keeping hope that one day He will, so until then I will continue to try and keep hope that this dakr cloud will one day get from over me. I am so tired out this, but I just cant seem to stop. I just want to stop. Please pray with me that God will hear my cry for help soon, I am so tired of this….. Thank you for listening,

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