[CraigMac6]

Hey all,

I hate to share this news but I must own up. I started back gambling last week. I went on a little over a 1 week binge where I just lost control of everything again. As I sit here and type this I wonder if quitting is even possible for me. I’m not feeling sorry for myself but I’ve had so many chances to make it stick and always seem to go back to this damn addiction. That last week of being free of gambling was really tough, I felt depressed often. In a fog to speak and when I put money into my sportsbook, I instantly felt alive. That really scares me. I went from grumpy every second to a positive mindset. That positive mindset only lasted a few days until I started to blow through cash and feel miserable all over again.
I really let my family and myself down with this one. Thanks for listening everyone and I hope you all have a beautiful day!

[CraigMac6]

The last week or so has been pretty rough for me. Maybe because my quit rarely gets into the 30 day mark. Maybe because I have some extra time on my hands as of late, or maybe because my addictive mind is trying to convince me to place a wager. I know I don’t want to gamble and I definitely do not want the baggage that comes with gambling but to say I have been in a rut as of late would be an understatement.
As my mind wanders, quite often as of late, I’ve been thinking; I’ve been addicted to something for nearly all my life, and because of my addictions I’m not where I would like to be in my life. I spent from age 16 to age 32 being addicted to chewing tobacco. This addiction kept me from being my best self and pursuing my goals simply because I just wanted to isolate myself and dip for hours. I was a closet chewer. I didn’t let many people know of my addiction because I was embarrassed. So, I would avoid a lot of things just to dip. I didn’t prolong my educational career because that would take away isolation time. When I finally gave up dipping, I started to accomplish some of my life goals. However, not long after my dip addiction ended, I became fully engaged with my gambling addiction. When I chewed tobacco, I also gambled but it was on a much smaller scale. I would bet a game or two a day and call it a night. That lasted for about 7 years, and right around the same time I quit dipping, I went full fledged into gambling. Those two or three bets a day were now 8 to 10 hours a day. Completely out of control. I have lived the last 5 years with my sports gambling completely out of control and it has cost me so much. It has cost me money, it has cost me time, it has cost me relationships and it has cost me an opportunity of fulfilling my life goals. I understand I’m still alive and I still have an opportunity to capture my goals; however, I become very disappointed in myself because I expected to be further along in my life than I am at this point. It seems everything in my life has happened late due to my addictions. I had kids late (mid 30’s), I got married late (mid 30’s), I still rent, I still don’t have a solid career that I enjoy. It’s tough. I know things will get better but gosh, addictions have definitely impacted my life in a negative way.
I spent so much time over the last 5 years working multiple jobs just to support my gambling addiction. I would work nearly 75/80 hours a week (easily). Working all those hours caused me to miss many of my family functions, celebrations and events. It caused me to start living an unhealthy lifestyle. I stopped exercising, I put on a lot of weight over the course of these 5 years. The craziest part is even with working 3 jobs at once, I was still falling behind on my bills because of my excessive gambling. A few months before my last quit, I called my online sports book, who I used for a little over a year, and I asked them how much money I had lost to them since I opened an account with them and they told me 30,000. In just a little over a year, I gave them 30k. That might not seem like a lot to most folks but to me, that’s an enormous amount and that was just for ONE year!
I guess you could say its been a struggle for me recently. Making a sports wager will not help, it will only make it worse. I will continue to fight for my life because I know gambling takes everything away from me. It changes who I am.
Have a great day all!
ONE DAY AT A TIME

[CraigMac6]

Hi Kin,

Thank you very much for the support. The journey has not been easy (and its not easy for anyone) but I believe it is worth it. I keep telling myself there is more to life than the outcome of a sports game. How much that consumes me is ridiculous and it is something I no longer want in my life. I’ve been clean from gambling for 1 month and 3 days by taking it one day at a time! 🙂

[CraigMac6]

“After you have stop gambling, you will continue to have problems, but you are facing all the problem that leads you to gamble!!!”

THAT IS AMAZING! Thanks for sharing those powerful words.

My family went on a 2 day quick spontaneous trip to the beach. It was a lot of fun and well worth it. Gambling was not on my mind and when it was, I said “naw, not gonna think of you instead of my family today.”

Lets go y’all! Keep fighting the good fight!

[CraigMac6]

Thanks for the post Kin. Mental and emotional relapse; absolutely correct. The mental relapse is real. All i can think about when my mind wanders into making a wager is how it has cost me so much of my life. No matter if I win a bet, I will feel cheated because it’s like I will sell my soul to gambling. Not today. Day 31. The struggle has been real. I was thinking the other day, the longest I have gone without gambling was around 60 days last summer. I vividly recall those days. Feeling tired all the time, my mind is all over the place, not really motivated to do anything. Stuck in a rut with little energy or focus on the task at hand. I would even say a little depression. I know this is the “fog” stage of my quit and trust me, I don’t want to go through this again. I feel like I’m wasting my days away without accomplishing much. I know I need to do better and eventually I will but these feelings are very similar to last summer. What that tells me is I haven’t grown in a year if I am battling the same issues this summer as I did last summer. Gambling kept my life stuck in place (actually going backwards if I want to be honest), I don’t want to keep being stuck in life. I want to advance and be better. The only way to do that is get through this phase without going backwards by placing a wager. This has been tough but I can do it, one day at a time! Thanks for all the support!

[CraigMac6]

I’m late but congratulations on the 100 day mark. Thats quite an accomplishment. I really like your outlook when it comes to how negatively gambling impacts our lives. It truly does. While the finances are in ruins from gambling and thats always tough; but the biggest thing I fear is how gambling takes away from my life. Like you said, whens the last time we laughed when we gambled? Like a true laugh of enjoyment? i know for me, i just had a one track mind. Place a bet, watch the game; place another bet watch a game; barely sleep, work my life away to pay for the debts due to gambling; ughhh what a depressing life!
Thanks for your post, thanks for your positive spirit and thank you for leading the way for us newbies.
Well done, sir!

[CraigMac6]

30 days free today for me. To say it has been easy would be a lie. It’s been very tough. Heck even today has been a struggle because I know I could easily make a deposit into my old gambling sportsbook account ( i would have to reopen it, which they gladly would) but there is one major thing stopping me. It’s not about the money but that one thing stopping me is all the time, all the energy all the focus that gambling takes away from me. It completely changes who I am as a person. It changes my outlook, and it changes what I accomplish each day. Honestly, with gambling, I don’t accomplish much. Other than watching/betting on sports all day. I have people that are depending upon me and gambling takes away from that. That is why I have decided to not gamble today. I have passed a big test today. Today I will press forward despite that lie my brain is telling me- that lie of “you can control your gambling, just bet on games you are sure of.” I know that lie. As soon as I place one wager, I’m full tilt back into the madness. My therapist told me a while back; with addictions, when you start back up an addiction you never start at the beginning you instead start off right where you left off. That is so true and one of the main reasons I have made it this far without gambling because starting back up where I left off would be absolutely miserable! Not TodaY!!!

[CraigMac6]

Hey Canadian Gambler,

I hope you are still trying to get your life back together without gambling. This addiction is so difficult and I have said “this will be my last deposit” more than one hundred times. It’s a sickening addiction. However, I have come to the conclusion that my life will never get better until I quit gambling. It will always be a roller coaster with more terrible days than good. As you said, that good day might get us a 2k win, but we are still down 1.5k over the course of the week because we continued to seek the thrill of a “big win.” We truly will never get back to even; we will just keep digging ourselves an even bigger hole to get out of. LIFE will never get better living like that! NEVER! The ONLY way we can get a better life is by quitting gambling. Yes it will be hard but living that reckless life is even harder because their is never an end in sight. Its just a continual cycle of reckless behavior and choices. I hope you are still around.

[CraigMac6]

Great job, yoyo! Keep taking things one day at a time!

[CraigMac6]

Hey,

I thank you for sharing your post. Gambling will never make our lives better. Each time we gamble just makes our life a little worse and a little worse. Whereas if we put down the gambling, yes its a struggle and its a battle against an addiction but overtime that battle will get a little easier. I think putting in a lot of work now for a better life is a better option than making life easy now with gambling without ever having a positive end insight.
You can do this. It’s never too late to start living a better life 🙂

[CraigMac6]

Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well today. I wanted to check in. Today marks 27 days of no gambling. I am excited to wake up tomorrow and tell my wife it has been 4 weeks without gambling of any sort. It’s a nice feeling. Even though our finances are in rough shape, I feel things are starting to come together in terms of money. I have a feeling things will work out; whereas before, I lived paycheck to paycheck without any worry in the world for financial freedom because I “will go on a hot streak and win thousands, and we can buy this and pay off this loan, etc” but it never happened. I instead, just kept putting more money into my account until my paychecks were gone!
Things are still very tough. My mind is still trying to convince me I can control my addiction, which I know I can’t. On the other hand, life does seem a lot simpler. There are daily stresses, as we all have them, but there are also moments of enjoyment that come from life instead of an outcome of a game.
I have tried to give all my money to my wife but it didn’t really work out because I am in charge of paying most of the bills and it became too much of a hassle. MY wife does have access to my money and she can see transactions which does help me a little but the truth is if there is a will to gamble, I will find a way to make that deposit no matter what! The key for me is Gamban. That has really helped! None-the-less, I hope all of you have an amazing day!

[CraigMac6]

The best advice I can give you is put Gamban on all your devices. It will block gambling websites!

[CraigMac6]

Good morning,

I just wanted to check in and post for today to hold myself accountable for my quit. I know the next couple weeks will be tough with college football season on the horizon (my favorite sport to bet and easily my most profitable) but I know in the end I will always lose; and when I mean always lose it’s not just the money that I will lose. Its my time and my sanity. In the end, it is really not worth it. It’s not worth it to spend hours upon hours upon hours on bets/games/research/etc. If I could treat it like a job and play for a few hrs and move forward that would be great but I’m way past that in my addiction. I can’t stop and my mind never leaves the opportunity to get action! Needless to say, I’m taking this one day at a time and I’m thankful to be free of gambling today! Have a great day all !

[CraigMac6]

Hey everyone! Thanks for the help Dark Energy! I will definitely try it. I am doing well with the gambling. I have not placed a wager in 22 days! I have been away from the forum due to a death in the family. I am really grateful during this difficult time I was able to give my all to my wife for support instead of being half a## with the support with more of my energy/focus on a game or match. I know for a fact my outlook during this difficult time would have been a lot different had I still been gambling. I am really thankful for that! I will try to post as much as possible in the next few days but they will be hectic. Have a great day.

[CraigMac6]

Hey good morning all!

I just bought a new computer recently due to leaving my old profession (they took it back) and I’m trying to download gamban on it but I’m having difficulty! Does anybody know of another gambling site blocker that would work on a Chromebook? Yesterday was really tough knowing I had a device that could easily access my account. I need to get this figured out as soon as possible. The temptation is strong but my will to quit was stronger yesterday! Heres to another day of success by beating the addiction! Have a great day everyone!

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