[CraigMac6]

Hello

I failed and started gambling again.

Today I’m back. Day 1

[CraigMac6]

Hey Kin

Thank you for stopping in. I appreciate your post and it’s good to have those reminders. 10 years ago I quit chewing tobacco after being a user for like 17 years. The quote was very difficult in there was a site. I actually went to at the time every day to post my commitment and I have like quit brothers and a lot of the stuff that you mentioned was stuff I was aware of you know back then. The fog suck a different stages yeah I remember quite well. But as I just celebrated my 10th year of being free from dip I didn’t really feel that good cause I just felt like I had transferred my addiction from dip to gambling and I’m not sure which one is worse. In fact I think gambling is probably worse. They were both bad. Don’t give me wrong. Gambling can be all day every day with a cell phone where dip I had to just do it I had my own time. It really is one thing to disappointed me, though. I feel like even though I’ve been free of a 10 years. I just transferred my addiction to another Bad Act. So now I’m trying to use this free time and put it towards something good to become addicted to my health, my fitness, my family. And obviously, the mental fight, knowing that my mind will try to tell me, I can control it when I know I can’t. I have 17 years of losing money as a private example of that being false.
Again, I really appreciate you stopping in and providing support. It’s much appreciated. On Monday too it’s been a good day. My challenging days are when sports are happening like the NFL college football and really put me over the edge of tennis. I never even watched tennis before, but the action all day every day so many matches so many points matter that was one of mine triggers as well. Have a great day.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by CraigMac6.

[CraigMac6]

Hello everybody

So last Thursday day 29 I fell off the wagon and I made $150 deposit into my account to make a wager on the NFL game season opener. $150 turned into a $900.03 day sports binge that brings out the worst of me. It’s a little concerning cause I was doing so well I felt so strong about this quit. And like all of us I’ve quit probably thousands of times, but I felt like it was the one I had so much motivation so much determination to continue and last Wednesday with the season opener coming I started to think in my mind I can control it. I can manage it just bet the place I feel confident about. I thought that urge on Wednesday and didn’t make a deposit that same merge came back Thursday and I caved I thought it all day at 6:30 PM. I said I’m gonna go ahead and give it a shot. I know I can’t win. I know it’s unrealistic. I know I have no control over gambling and I know one that will just turn into many And I don’t have control. Back I don’t want gambling in my life. I’m scared because I really thought that was, this was the one and it makes me wonder if I really can’t quit. I definitely wanna quit. When I gamble I’m not really who I am takes control of me just like everyone makes me into a worst person. Worst dad worse husband I’m overweight out of shape. I never used to be that way used to value fitness and exercise and I still do but the gambling taste control and everything else takes a backseat. I really have to make this change in my life if I wanna live a healthy prosperous, long life man so disappointed. But that seems to be my one fault I do really well and then after a long break, I try to convince myself I can I can manage it just play a game here or there, but I’m so far past that I want to action every second live waging every minute action even though I have no real advantage it’s just the fact betting money. Truly a sickness my hope is that I’ve learned from this mistake yet again and I don’t know if I could do 29 days I can go even longer this time. I know my life is better without gambling. I’m happier I don’t have so much anxiety. I don’t get so upset when I lose I’m not glued to my phone. I’m just overall better person just tough. It’s not easy but I’m back day. One scared shut up nervous I was so confident the last 29 days strong. I feel like that was the one it just took one minute of complacency one second well I can’t really say that cause I battled her for like two days but the second day I shaved and I’m Ryan told me I could handle it. Any advice would be great sorry that this is a bunch of rambling and it might not make sense but I am doing the talk to text cause I’m on the road from work. Have a great day everyone and I’m gonna make a choice not to place a wager as it affects my life negatively.

[CraigMac6]

Hi

Day 27. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks but my focus is on today. One day at a time. Life is getting better. Slowly but surely. It’s a nice change of pace. Not the extreme stress as before with every minute being engaged in a wager .
Freedom is the best gift I can give myself!

[CraigMac6]

Day 25.

Now this weekend wasn’t easy with the start of college football. I’ve always enjoyed wagering on college football and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t enticed to open up my account. But I just thought : when I win a game it turns into eventually taking my freedom. The likelihood of winning the second game is slim to none: so there is no real money to be made unless you can take your winnings and stop after the first wager but I know that’s not me. Each wager is an ever so slightly tilt of freedom being lost in the direction of the addiction.

It feels great to say no. It wasn’t easy and sure every Saturday will be a test but I did get a lot accomplished yesterday instead of watching football all day long.

Keep on keeping on!

[CraigMac6]

Thank you antimo5569 for
The kind words!

3 weeks!

[CraigMac6]

Hello everybody

Today is day 20 for me. Things are still going pretty good just focusing on each day making it better than the last. As I said with college football coming up, I know it’s gonna be challenging for me, but I know that’s not the type of life that I want. I look forward to the challenge, but I also know there’s a lot of work ahead. Tomorrow will be three weeks. And I actually think the last pet I put in was on a Tuesday about 630. Three weeks of what kind of fast as I said before it’s been great Have a nice day

[CraigMac6]

Hey
I just wanted to stop in and say thanks for posting and congratulations on nearly 13 months.
I felt the line “the reason I don’t accomplish things…” because boy oh boy does gambling occupy so much of our time. I think I spent atleast 12 hours a day watching sports/placing wagers.
Well done!

[CraigMac6]

A lot of quit going on in here. Great stuff

[CraigMac6]

Hey ghost

Thanks for the positive words. Yes almost 3 weeks man. It’s been good. It’s been challenging, but it’s also what I want. I do have a lot of regret thinking about where I’m at, and where I could’ve been if I didn’t pick up this nasty addiction. But I also remind myself I still could be making those wages and I’d be in the same predicament even getting worse by the day but instead I’m getting better by the day.

What’s really astonishing is the amount of time that I was wasting and not accomplishing my goals and things I want to get to. So I feel super behind on a lot of things. But one day at a time one task at a time. let’s go!
I hope everyone has a great day

[CraigMac6]

Good morning

I made it through payday without making a deposit, and I also made it to the first Saturday of college football without placing the wage during any game. The games that I find most enjoyable to bet on our college football games and then starting very soon so this will be a challenging season for me, but I’m determined to get through it. I’m proud of where I’m at. I don’t wanna go back. What I’ve been doing is just focusing on the things I need to get accomplished for that day for that moment, and realizing that life is when I don’t want hope everyone has a great day day 18 for me.

[CraigMac6]

Hello iamhere it’s nice to have you stop in and I appreciate your kind words.

Today is day 16 it is my payday normally I would’ve already put 234 $500 into my account and probably lost it and never got anything accomplished. I refuse to put any of my money into any of my old accounts which have been closed, but they would gladly open them up, cause I’m a sucker. It really drives me and motivates me to stay gamble free cause I can’t help but think of all the bad decisions I made, and how it negatively impact in my family. My wife would go above and beyond financially to help make hands meet in here. I am behind her back, waste of money on a gambling event and truly never getting anything accomplished, cause I’m focused on a phone all day. Feels good to know that I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t have to be in the attic, I don’t have to be glued to my phone. I don’t have to be a monster for this addiction. Almost seems like I was a totally complete person. Probably because I was just like most of us are when the addiction really grabs hold of us. Things are coming together financially for us still gonna be a long process, but we’re on the right track and we’ll get there when I gambled never get there always backwards. But I am determined to make sure I get through today a payday we normally I would blow all the money without Wasting any money on any type of camp. Have a great day everyone thank you

[CraigMac6]

Today Marques two weeks since I gambled. The title of this thread is a better life and I can say in the last two weeks made decisions that have allowed in my life to be better. I’m grateful for today and I just wanna keep growing and improving.
I hope all of you have an awesome day and you can find it within yourself to stay quit one day at a time

[CraigMac6]

Hey everybody, I hope everyone’s doing well. Tomorrow will be two weeks that I’ve been free from gambling. All I can’t say is been easy. I will admit I’m in a good place and while it’s been tough hasn’t been really super tough just because I’m tired of that life. I’m tired of searching every second for a couple bucks 60 bucks 70 bucks to put in my account. I’m tired of every paycheck I get paid and by the end of the day my account says zero because I just keep putting money and put money in. That’s what I knew. I really had a problem with gambling is when payday came for five years ago. I would pay my bills first and then whatever I had left you know I might put 100 or $200 in my account and play. But as I got worse, my addiction it became gambling account was number one priority bills were secondary and sometimes often times they didn’t get paid and then I’m getting loans and then I’m getting deeper in debt. It’s just a vicious cycle. I will say this though since I’ve stopped gambling the last 13 days I’ve really just kept focus on bettering my life for myself and my family. I felt alive for the first time in a long time I’m not glued to my phone 24 seven I’m not waking up to check the scores. I’m not stopping in the middle conversation with my wife to see if my team is winning or losing. I’m able to do things without having to stop to check a score. It’s a very difficult feeling to explain but if I had to say a word, it’s freedom. I have the freedom to be in that moment. I know this thing can creep up at any moment. I’m I’m keeping guard. I’m proud of where I am. I know there’s a lot to do moving forward, but a lot of things are coming together for me in these 13 days, I can only imagine what’s gonna look in six months in a year five years 10 years like my life will be so much better. I know that, but as a saying goes One day at a time. I hope all of you have an awesome day.

[CraigMac6]

Hello everybody

Just checking in day 10 had a little bit of time to reflect and it’s pretty sad how much I allowed gambling to impact my life both my health, my finances, my relationships all those things. I don’t think you realize how much controller has on your how much you just crave that itch to do it immediate gratification. I don’t think you realize how bad it is till you take a step away. Take a step back. Been tough to except because I always took Brian and how I conducted myself and being a good man husband father I think I was pretty good at those things, but the gambling prevented me from being great from being truly impactful. And then when you sit there and realize how much gambling has taken from you and then you count up to years in the month and the days and the hours in a minute four days I was been up for 15 hours just on my phone, not constantly but throughout the day hour here, 20 minutes here, 15 minutes here what could I have accomplished in that time? How could I have been a better dad during that time. It’s a lot of processing a lot to admit. And now you add that and now it’s months years i’ve done those years goals. I want for my family and accomplished because I was spending 75% of my time in a phone watching a game making a bet again really a tough pill to swallow, but it is high opening is real. It’s the truth and I have to be able to accept that. I’m not in a position to sit there and dwell on because that was a mistake I made I can make the future better by my choices, but it makes you really realize like I was a good dad. I thought I still provided most of the time I still gave some of my time and energy not nearly as much as I could’ve.
And I’ll give you a little example this will probably help me feel a little better. My oldest daughter went off to college her second year at college. We first started the dad thing you know I want to have a house for us that was a goal. have a house, not rent own Here. We are 17 years later. Still no house still renting she’ll never get to experience her own house from me anyway that’s tough. There’s no going back. I can do better and ensure there’s a house for our family and the younger kids with all this one. I took that opportunity. I gamble from almost 17 years now of course the first seven probably were not that bad just a little bit of a game game there but the last 10 years man live in the gamble pretty sad.

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