[charles]

Hi Again Dan.

I have just noticed a post you made on another thread and have also commented there.

“I’m almost convinced that relapse is a necessary component of recovery…………”

You went on to give some good advice in that it is important to learn from any slips. This is of course true; we can recognise the triggers that sent us gambling, realise what barriers might have stopped us gambling etc.

I just thought it was worth highlighting though that whilst a slip can be part of recovery it isn’t inevitable. To assume that it is would be just doing what our addiction wants and setting down teh justification for our next bet.

Keep posting. One day at a time

[charles]

Dan is right, if we do have a slip the important thing is to learn from it. What can we do differently next time? What barriers, had they been in place, would have made it harder for us to place that last bet? Having said that, whilst a slip can be part of recovery they are certainly not inevitable. To assume they are would be just doing what our addiction wants and laying the justification for our next bet.

[charles]

Well done on your gamble free time Dancahser.

mercedes, well done on making your first posts here. As you can see you are not alone. I’m sure you are reading a lot of things you can relate to on the other threads her as well as this one.

Can I suggest you start your own thread as well though? Just click on the My Journal Forum. If you scroll then down the list of existing threads, at the bottom and to the left of the page click on “New Topic”.

Welcome to the forum and I look forward to seeing your progress in recovery.

[charles]

Hi Tara,

it’s obviously up to you how much you tell anyone but i would say that it is very important to tell people that you have decided to stop gambling for whatever reason. if you just make an excuse each time then there is no reason for people to stop asking you the next time they go. A couple of ” I don’t gamble anymore, I’m not interested” and people soon stop asking. Very few people know that I ever had a gambling problem or that I go to GA, everyone now just thinks i don’t gamble.

[charles]

Hi Dale,
If you click on “Support groups” you will see the full schedule of groups so you can plan when you want to join. Did you know that after 15 minutes the groups do close for newcomers so that those in the group can continue to focus on their discussions without interruption? Maybe that was the problem as I see you posted at 46 minutes past the hour.

[charles]

“………..doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”

Very true and that has certainly been said here before. so… what are you going to be doing differently this time? Self exclusion from where ever it is that you gamble? Financial accountabilty/barriers? GA meetings? tying up your time? Keep posting and let us know what you are doing differently. One day at a time

[charles]

Well done on your new job Carole

[charles]

Sorry we got cut off Adele, we were just getting going. Hope to see you later.

[charles]

Sorry Vera, Im in group now, not sure what happened. If you are still reading then as you were in the group you SHOULD be able to reconnect even though the 15 minutes is up.

[charles]

Hi Sj, please accept my condolences on the loss of your brother.

At a time like this it is more important than ever that you use some form of support. Did you read Harry’s post about a free blocker? If you are going to use this site less at the moment then what other support are you going to use? mayve aGA meeting, that doesn’t require internet access.

Again my condolences. Now is a time when it’s important to use all the support you have available to you.

[charles]

Hi SJ,
I hope to see you in a group again soon. If you check your profile and make sure it is still set to your time zone/country and the Group times should then appear with the correct times for you as well . Hope this helps. 🙂

[charles]

Hi Adele and others,

i am sure harry and the techies are working hard on things right now but in the meantime this might help.

In any forum it shows the title of each thread. To the right of that it says how many replies it has had and also how many new replies there have been since you last looked. Click on “New” and it’ll take you to the latest posts that have been made on that thread so you don’t have to do quite so much of that scrolling 🙂

Hope that helps.

[charles]

안녕 Adele과 다른 사람들, 나는 해리와 기술자들이 지금 열심히 일하고 있다고 확신하지만 그 동안에는 이것이 도움이 될 것입니다. 모든 포럼에서 각 스레드의 제목을 보여줍니다. 그 오른쪽에는 얼마나 많은 응답이 있었는지, 그리고 마지막으로 본 이후로 얼마나 많은 새로운 응답이 있었는지가 표시됩니다. "새로 만들기"를 클릭하면 해당 스레드에 작성된 최신 게시물로 이동하므로 스크롤을 많이 할 필요가 없습니다 🙂 도움이 되기를 바랍니다.

[charles]

Olá, Adele e outros, tenho certeza de que harry e os técnicos estão trabalhando muito nas coisas agora, mas, por enquanto, isso pode ajudar. Em qualquer fórum, mostra o título de cada tópico. À direita diz quantas respostas recebeu e também quantas novas respostas ocorreram desde a última vez que você olhou. Clique em "Novo" e ele o levará para as últimas postagens que foram feitas naquele tópico, para que você não tenha que fazer tanta rolagem 🙂 Espero que ajude.

[charles]

Hi Cat and P.

You are right Cat, it is a little quieter at the moment and I think P is right, the recent changes will no doubt have made people less comfortable as they adjust to those changes. Unfortunately some may even leave the site, change is scary. Even stopping gambling is scary as it’s likely the biggest change most of us have made!

I would have to add that we need to be honest, another reason things have got quieter is how bad the old site had become in some areas. The lags and connection problems made many of the groups unusable and certainly that would have put off new members and old alike.
Thats changed now, no lags and good connections mean the groups and helpline run better, discussions flow and people receive better support. Yes change can be scary but change can also be for the better, I think it is in this case.

As P says, the best thing anyone can do is to keep posting, old members will get used to the new site and of course new members will find us. Unfortunately turnover of members at any recovery site, on line like this or face to face like Gamblers Anonymous or others, is fairly high. The people that have most chance of success are the ones who keep posting/getting to meetings. No coincidence.

At GA I always say that the most important person in the room is ME!! Thats not to say I’ve got any superiority issues lol because that answer is the same for all of us. If we aren’t in the room we can neither receive support nor give it to others.

So I would repeat what P said, the best way to get more people posting is to keep posting.

On a personal note I would add that whilst I hope all old members do return to posting etc there may be some who decide not to. Before they leave I would ask them a question – what support are you going to use instead? We have all seen the posts which begin ” I used to post here but then stopped……..” they usually continue with whatever horror story has happened since.

I am a Compulsive Gambler myself and if we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t have a problem in the first place. It’s important to use support both to initially stop gambling and then to continue using support to stay stopped and maintain recovery.

[Author]

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