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You can do it P, ODAAT
Maybe think about seeing the therapist before those actions. I can’t see much to be gained from testing in this way but I can see a lot to be risked.
You are doing well PG. You are addressing your own situaion and also starting to help others on the forum, well done.
You are taking things oDAAT and taking responsibility for your own addiction.
Knowledge is important – you know that when your mum goes home it will be hard. USE that knowledge, make sure your barriers are fully in place at that time, have your days planned as well to get past that period and back into your normal routine.
Keep posting
Peacegirl and Mredhave given you some good advice here Kimura, people are sharing the things that have worked for them.
The casinos aren’t the problem – as Compulsive Gamblers, and scoring 10 or 11 yeses in those 20 questions suggests that includes yourself, we have the problem within us.
That does not take responsibility for our actions away from us. Whilst being CGs the important thing is we KNOW we are CGs and that puts the responsibility squarely on our own shoulders to do something about it. Maybe take a look around the rest of that GA site and find a local meeting, there is a lot of support out there. Keep posting.
Hi Kimura,
Well done on making that decision. It’s not easy though, you will be more likely to get to that 2 year stage if you continue to use support in the mean time. After all if we could do it on our own then I doubt we would have the problem in the first place.
It’s important to take things one day at a time but looking forward why would it be a different story after you achieve your qualification? If gambling would stop you achieving what you want to achieve then isn’t the rest of your life and future achievements worth the same?
Hi Laura,
I expect you have been reading some of the other stories here. You will have seen some of the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
A lot of peole find barriers useful, for instance you can get a blocker you can instal on your PC that will stop you visiting any gambling site. http://www.betfilter.com is one though of course there are others.
Who could you be accountable to? Who might be able to hold your money? What things can you put in place now so that when you get paid again in 3 weeks time you are less able to gamble?
Barriers are useful but they aren’t the total answer to addiction. You don’t have to do this on your own, there is a lot of help around these days. Start a thread on te My Journal Forum, let us know the positive steps you are starting to take. You will get alot of support and feedback there as well as being able to read many stories similar to your own.
Re your current financial situation talk to anyone you own money to. The finances tend to be sorted out fairly quickly once we stop gambling. The opposite is also true though – carry on gambling and it doesn’t really matter how we get out of one hole – we just dig another one!
If the finances are unmanageable then again there are a lot of free agencies around these days, what country are you in?
Maybe get to a gamblers Anonymous meeting – you would find that useful in helping you stop gamblign and also meet peole who can give you local advice on what to do about the finances.
Keep posting and I look forward to hearing how you are doing.
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Hello Laura and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi again kimura,
Well done on starting a journal.
Did you take a look at those 20 Questions?
The reason I ask is you say “…..I have to admit that I am a gambler…..” the question is do you admit you are a COMPULSIVE Gambler? There is a big difference between the two.
My brother is a gambler, he has probably gambled most weeks for the last 40 years. he would, honestly, anser no to all of those 20 questions – he doesn’t have a problem. I on the other hand answered yes to most of them. When I gambled no win was big enough and I chased losses – I am a Compulsive Gambler.
Once we cross the line into compulsive gambling I’m afraid there seems to be no going back to being a normal, controlled gamble.
It matters little how good, lucky or skilled we are at certain forms of gambling, be that poker, sports betting or whatever really. Because no matter how skilled we are the addiction wil take over in the end; there will be one of the many reasons you have given, and more, why we lose control and discipline etc
My own personal opinion would be that if were were the sort of people who could show that control then we wouldn’t have a problem in the first place, nor would we feel the need to come to a site like this. After all I doubt many people come here, or to places like GA etc, as their first option. We all try to “control” things first ourselves.
Maybe as you make that decision also reread the post you started with here, made less than a week ago. It was titled “How to stop gambling” and told us how you had lost everything.
This is a progressive addiction so the choice we all have to make is whether to address it now or wait until things get worse.
Hello Anisso,
I’m afraid no one here will be able to help you pay your debts.
What we can do is give you support to help you stop gambling and start taking responsibility for your own actions.
I know I am a Compulsive Gambler myself and if people were still paying my debts for me then I would still be gambling.
This is a recovery site, please read the other threads here and see the sort of thing that has helped others stop gamblng. Which of those could you apply to your own situation?
You can stop gambling and you can turn things around.
Keep posting and let us know the steps you start to take, one day at a time.
I hope you make the right decision for you then kimura.
Maybe take a look at the 20 questions they have on the Gamblers Anonymous website? Whether or not anyone actually decides to go to GA the questions are still relevant and should help you make your decision.
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions
Maybe also start a thread in the My Journal forum, whatever your decision you can keep a track of your progress there and let us know how you get on.
Well done on your first two weeks PG.
Doing a little extra work to help with the finances is a good idea of course but be careful. If two weeks has exhausted you then how long are you planning on working that hard? is it sustaunable? maybe look at any debts etc and be honest with yourself. Maybe take a little longer to pay them off and work at a more sustainable level? Just a thought, hopefully see you in a group again soon.
Hi Kimura and welcome to the forum.
“Don’t take your credit card to the casino. Don’t take too much cash. Play small stakes. Don’t go the casino at all!!!”
Only one of those things is an option in reality don’t you think? The first 3 are all about controlling our gambling and if that worked then I doubt we would be here in the first place.
When it comes to our cash having somone holding it need not be humiliating. How humiliated do we feel when peole see us giving it all to the casnio? If we become accountable, so that we can’t gamble, then we are not really giving someone control of our money, we are regaining it as of course we have little control when we are gambling.
Hello Kensakus and welcome to the group. I am sure you are reading stories similar to your own on the other threads here in the forum. You will also be reading the success stories – what are they doing that you could apply to your own situation?
The most important thing for any of us ti to is to use the support that we have available,; if we could do it on our oen then we wouldn’t be here in the first place!
Keep posting here, keep up your counselling, maybe check out GA meetings in your area. Keep posting and let us know about the positive steps you are taking.
Hi Carole, well done on cutting up that card. Does Danny know you gambled? How about getting back to that GA meeting you helped start It would be great extra support and also give you time away from work, work, work.
Keep posting and see you again in a group soon I hope.
