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Hi Seri, when you are debt free maybe don’t go back to that 100% of your wages again.
Think of it this way: having someone else “control” our money is actually the opposite – with your dad holding your money haven’t you had more control over it than you ever did when you had access to it to gamble?
Maybe ask him to keep helping you for a while – it’ll still be your money to spend on what you want, just not gambling.
Hi Ican, You can do this, you know what works. Back to basics.
It migth be the thought of selling your property that has given you some urges/awakened your addiction.
it could also be that it sees it’s chance. Selling a property? Does that mean access to cash? An increase in the credit you will have available? All thoughts that will get a sleeping addiction stirring.
Again, you know what works, back to basics and use your awareness of the risks.
Keep posting and maybe see you in a group soon.
No Problem, come in now : for the 7 – 8 slot. 🙂 It’s a Topic group so the doors close at 15 minutes past.
Hi Butch. I didn’t actually say character traits that made you gamble, though we might all have those as well. What I said was character traits that addiction has given you – It certainly gave me a lot that I wasn’t proud of and wouldn’t necessarily just have disappeared by stopping gambling.
Trying to find something that gives the same buzz as gambling?
If we tried to do that then there would be a big danger of finding another unhealthy option. A bit like swapping Heroin for Cocaine maybe? Not a good idea of course.
We all have our own interrests, things we stopped doing in the past, things we have always fancied trying.
Try new things, find a variety of things to do. Myself, I discovered the theatre, qualified as a scuba diver, got a dog among lots of other things. Go out there, try things, if you like them carry on with them, if you don’t then try something else.
I actually did find a buzz that matched gambling even though I wasn’t looking for it. Every now and then when I’m diving a shark appears. Only fish eating sharks I hasten to add but still one great healthy buzz. 🙂
Hi Butch,
You didn’t resist fully? You are forgetting something. You couldn’t gamble because you had a blocker. It was you who chose to put that blocker in place. Well done, good choice, now give yourself some credit for it please 🙂
Fighting addiction can be like climbing a mountain, when someone climbs a mountain it’s not cheating to use a rope!
Now, retirement….. I think you did tell me your age and i think I’m right in saying it’s no where near retirement age? Don’t think that far ahead. It’s early days right now, it’s not surprising you are getting urges, gambling thoughts etc Will it be that hard when you retire? If all you do is sit there not gambling then yes it might be. The good news is you aren’t going to do that! You are going to work your recovery, address any character traits that addiction has given you, find other interests and things you like doing to fill your gamble free time.
Baby steps though, we say one day at a time for a reason – it’s achievable and not scary. As velvet says – enjoy today, enjoy your recovery. The future will take care of itself if we concentrate on today.
Hopefully see you in a group later.
Hi JD, well done on being honest here.
What have you learnt from what had happened? What extra barriers can you put in place?
How about emailing all the “friends” who might lend you money and telling them you want their help to stop gambling? Asking them not to loan you money in the future however much you ask?
From earlier in this thread:
“……..I made a deal with myself. If I gamble again I will tell my wife……..”
Hopefully see you in a group again soon JD.
Hi Adam, why not close that gambling account? Better yet, why not ask them to ban you? The n you won’t keep getting those tempting bonuses.
The finances will take care of themselves if you stop gambling. Trying to keep things hidden will make it harder for you to do that. In fact trying to keep things hidden can in itself send someone gambling as they try and recoup hidden losses or pay hidden debts.
What positive steps can you take? A blocker for your PC so you can’t reopen that gambling account or find another one? Someone to hold your money? Getting to GA meetings?
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.?
Sounds like progress to me Seri 🙂
well doneHi Mav, The group timed out, sorry it’s on auto and I know you were busy at work so no problem.
If you click on the “About us” link. at the top of the page, and then on “My Profile” you can then view your chat history and see what I replied to you.
There is a Topic Group at 8pm (UK time) and then another group follows that, Hopefully see you later and I can expand on the subject.
The important word here is Today – why would any of us wait?
The important word here is Today – why would any of us wait?
Good to hear an update Ken, you help many others here. I know you go to GA and other sites so I hope you are using the support you need for yourself as well.
Take care.
Hi Fritz and welcome to the site.
If we are here or at GA then we couldn’t stop on our own, we need to use support to do so.
The trick is to then keep using that support to maintain recovery.
It sounds like GA helps you stop, this time keep getting to meetings. Posting here as well will make you stronger still and you will always be able to read your own words as a reminder of that pain.
A great first post, keep posting.