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Happy Birthday Liberty 🙂
Hi Liberty,
Hope you can make the group if you want to talk about what’s making you feel like that. Stay strong, one day at a time.
Hi Allchange, I hope reading the other stories here is helping you. What sort of thing that you have read can you apply to your own situation?
Hi Jenna, by happy coincidence the Topic Group this evening is on Patience 🙂 Maybe see you later.
Hi Lizbeth, Just been catching up a bit with your thread.
Something I heard at a meeting once:
A good day in recovery everything goes well and we don’t gamble. A brilliant day in recovery and everything goes to chit and we still don’t gamble!!
Well done on your brilliant days in recovery with your mothers ill health, a stressful time.
Glad you have been able to enjoy a few days break. keep posting.
Ok, well done on that realisation.
Now you have a 2nd question to ask/answer yourself. You will probably have read on other threads about this being a progressive problem. It’s true, if we carry on gambling the stakes get bigger, the amount of time we spend gambling gets longer. More importantly though the number of “Yeses” we score increases.
So the question we all have to decide on is – do we want to take the tough steps now? maybe some of the steps our addiction is giving us “reasons” not to take? Or later when we are deeper in trouble and those yeses increase?
You have banned yourself from sites? Great of course but as you have found, there are other sites. How about gettign a blocker for your PC? How about finding a way to make yourself accountable for your finances so that you can’t gamble in secret? Can your partner help with that?
The sort of thing that will help us stop gambling, like barriers, using support like here or GA etc serve a dual purpose. As well as making it hard for us to gamble they help start rebuilding trust etc. they give those around us cause to think “Hey, maybe he/she means it this time”
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking.
Hi SJ, well done on coming here and posting instead of more gambling.
You can do it SJ, keep using all your support networks, one day at a time.
Hi Micky, You posted this question in the Topics Group Forum. It’s a great question but that forum is to discuss the Topic groups that are advertised and take place on a Monday and Friday evening (UK time)
As I said though it is a great question so I have moved the thread to the Overcoming Problems Forum, where it will probably be read by more people as well.
I’ve also given some of my own thoughts on it which I hope help.
Hi Micky,
I know it’s hard, it was for me as well. I found that biting the bullet and just doing it helped though.
If we give short term reasons why we can’t bet like:
“I’m busy this week” or “I can’t afford it this month”
Then it is exactly that, short term. There would then be no reason for friends/colleagues not to ask again next week, the week after, the week after that etc etc Each time stretching our imagination as to finding a new reason not to, each time maybe stretching our credibility even. Certainly each time creating a new temptation that we don’t need. Sooner or later someone will ask us when we are having a bad day, our resolve is week and that’s when a slip might happen.
“No, I’ve decided not to gamble any more” removes all that, it’s dealt with and done, makes life a lot easier moving forward.
How much, if anything, you tell colleagues about your problem is up to you, personally “I’ve stopped gambling coz I got fed up with losing” worked for me lol Very few people outside of my immediate family know about my gambling issues.
The funny thing is I was worried about avoiding all the card schools etc at work, turned out that there weren’t many after I stopped gambling – it had been me that instigated most of them!
There are still the odd times that the question comes up but everyone knows i don’t gamble now, whilst it seems to us a MASSIVE thing to stop gambling to most people out there choosing not to gamble is no big deal at all so it’s not really commented on. I have my stock “I don’t gamble” answer if invited to join a work syndicate or sweepstake. I also have a strategy for any charity raffles etc so that I just don’t look like I’m a tight wad. If it’s a charity i would support then i just put a £ in the pot and say I don’t need a ticket, that usually impresses people, or if that makes things awkward for them I buy a ticket but instead of writing my name on it I just write “return the prize fund”.
Anyway those are just a few thoughts, hope that helps.
Ok xt, I guess we have conflicting thoughts here:
First post:
“I now know have a gambling problem and need to stop!”
A later post:
“But now I still think I am (in control) but other say diffrent xx”
I guess you have to make a decision on those two things? Maybe look at the 20 questions they have on the GA website?
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions
Let us know how you score, it may help you make up you mind as to the extent of the problem/ how much “control” any of us have.
Keep posting.
Hi Jenna, would that boyfriend be able to look after that £200 for you? Well done on getting back here and posting, maybe see you in a group in a while.
How did it make you feel Happy? Would you have preferred her to be honest?
Mav, you are doing exactly the right thing – concentrating on what you CAN do, using the support that IS available for you. Well done.