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Hi Steve and welcome.
Don’t apologise, this ios the place to get your thoughts out whatever they are.
While it might not feel like it right now i see some good news. You stopped for ten years!! Well done. So you know the things that have helped you in the past? Are you still going to GA? If not then did it help you in the past?
What other thigns have helped you in the past? What barriers can you put in place?
As I said the good news is that you stopped for ten years, now back to basics and the things that help you before.
This time you can use this site as well and be stronger still.
Hi Jessica,
How about getting yourself banned from the casino that they go to? That way you won’t be able to accompany them and they will know that there is no point asking you.
Ot sounds like you have been reading this site for a while, maybe start posting regulalrly now, you will get a lot of feedback and support.
If/when they start talking to you about gambling tell them you aren’t interested, if they continue then just leave the room, they will soon get the message.
What your parents do is out of your control, the actions you now take are in your control.
You are trying to stop so use all the support you can to help you do that. Post here, maybe try GA meetings, get the barriers in place that you will have been reading have helped others.
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are talking.
Hi Wilkins and welcome to the forum. My apologies your thread seems to hae got a little lost down here in this Forum.
Well done on looking for help.
I’m a compulsive gamber mysel;f as well. I’ve known other compulsive gamblers who work in bookies who now live a life without gambling, I also know those who had to change carreers because it made it too difficult.Which one are you? Who knows you will find that out for yourself as you move forward. You can stop gambling, put some barriers in place, don’t take cash or cards to wrok would be a good start, I doubt you can gamble where you work anyway but that would stop you nipping over the road to another bookies or getting one of the regulars to put your bets on for you.
Who could help you be accountable for your money? Put thigns in place so you can’t gamble undetected.
Is this a common thing? Does it matter? if it’s a problem for you then any statistics are irrelevant. Use the suport you have available. I’d recommend starting a thread in the My journal Forum here; it’s a busier forum and you will get more feedback and support. gamblers Anonymous would be another good option for you. As you use that support you will find for yourself whether you need to change jobs but one thig i promise is that you can stop gambling, just use the support.
Hi HP, well done on your gamble free time. Also well done on closing your account. Asking them to ban you would also be a good idea.
Have you manged to get any barriers in place to protect your quarterly wages when you get them?
Keep posting.
Well done on posting honestly here kpat.
Now, what positive steps can you now you take that will get you back into recovery and at the same time be a positive example for your daughter?
Hi Steph.
First of all I do have to take issue with you. Not gambling for ten days is a victory – you can remove the “small”, 🙂 well done you and take credit for that.
Remember, your husband holding your money doesn’t stop it being your money. We often talk about giving control of money to partners etc in reality it is the opposite. Being accountable and having barriers in place so we can’t gamble usually gives us more control over our money than we have had in a long time.
Well done on putting those barriers in place, keep posting.
Lorraine, I don’t know how the timeline goes each year but is the suffering you go through after each rebann solely down the the rebann? Or maybe partly due to the loss/aftermath of your 6 monthly visit?
Is that a possibility?
I’m glad you enjoyed watching those leaves, the little things in life are important. I love watching the birs in the garden and the squirrel raiding the feeders as he stocks up for winter.
Hi Simon and welcome. Well done on looking for help.
I like the heading of this thread “This time I mean it”
The thing is of course you, like I did, have “meant it” many times in the past.
You hae recently got engaged? Congratulations. Does your fiancee know about your gambling? Or that it is a problem?
Has she heard the promises that you mean this time before?
It’s an old saying – actions speak louder tahn words. My family had heard all my promises, came a time they didnt believe any of them. When i started doing things though, getting to GA meetigns, making myself accountable so i couldnt gamble secretly etc well, then they had cause to think “Hey, maybe he means it this time”
The actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that might help you rebuild trust etc
What positive actions are you taking?
Well done on not gambling Krekar, one day at a time can achieve great things. How are you filling the time you used to spend gambling?
Is it a myth, is it a lie?
Maybe recovery is where luck lies.
Yes, when gambling we all had our wins
But of course we always threw our money back in
In recovery we can now truly say
The harder we work it, the more that it pays
We don’t need luck to move forward in life
We don’t need luck to get past the strife
We don’t need gambling coz if we return to it
Then like a hen on our lap we’ll be covered in ****!
Is it a myth, is it a lie?
Maybe recovery is where luck lies.
Yes, when gambling we all had our wins
But of course we always threw our money back in
In recovery we can now truly say
The harder we work it, the more that it pays
We don’t need luck to move forward in life
We don’t need luck to get past the strife
We don’t need gambling coz if we return to it
Then like a hen on our lap we’ll be covered in ****!
Good poem, same for all of us.
The gambling industry isn’t the problem – they didn’t steal our money, we chose to give it to them.
The banks we might have borrowed money from aren’t the problem – we asked them for that money, sometimes knowing we couldn’t afford to pay it back.
What others do/don’t do isn’t the problem – we are all responsible for our own actions.
We can’t relocate away from our problem – it goes with us.
We are Compulsive Gamblers – that’s the problem but not the excuse. We are still responsible for our own actions and can take the ones which will move us into recovery.
Good poem, same for all of us.
The gambling industry isn’t the problem – they didn’t steal our money, we chose to give it to them.
The banks we might have borrowed money from aren’t the problem – we asked them for that money, sometimes knowing we couldn’t afford to pay it back.
What others do/don’t do isn’t the problem – we are all responsible for our own actions.
We can’t relocate away from our problem – it goes with us.
We are Compulsive Gamblers – that’s the problem but not the excuse. We are still responsible for our own actions and can take the ones which will move us into recovery.
Hi SJ,
Well done.
Great that you enjoyed your trip whilst at the same time putting in place the things that helped keep you safe.