[charles]

Hi Reddy, Vera gives good advice; if you don’t have the funds readily available when you pass those casinos you will likely find them a lot less tempting.

Here in the UK you can also get yourself banned from gambling venues. I’m pretty sure you get the option to ban from an individual casino or from the casino chain. Asking for a self exclusion form at one of those casinos would get you banned from all of them. When you do that make sure you have no money on you at all, just a apsport photo. That way you can’t get tempted for any final fling.

[charles]

Hi, thanks for the support.

Yes training is going fine thanks. Just over 4 weeks to go now and I’m pretty much on schedule distance wise.

I actually think the marathon, with the atmosphere and crowd to give me encouragement, is going to be easier than the fairly long solo runs I have to do in the next couple of weeks to up my stamina.

[charles]

Hi Tony, welcome to the forum. You are not alone with this problem, you will see many similar stories when you read the other threads here. You will also see the success stories; what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

How long are you in Greece for? Can you self exclude form the bookies there? Have you someone who could look after your money for you or help you with accountability?

Amounts are all relative of course but I think you sum up how we think when you use the word “only” in relation to losing £300 a day. I can certainly relate to that as well.

I think you realise yourself that if you carry on gambling then thigns will continue to get worse. Start putting things in place today and the only way is up.

Keep posting.

[charles]

Hi Jon,

The finances will work out one way or another. get things to a manageable position, use that finanacial advice if you need it.

Whilst it’s the finances that bring us all here though it is the gambling that needs to be addressed. Take the opportunity now, while funds are exhausted and you can’t, to put things in place. You will have money again, you will have available credit again, that’s when it’s important to have things already in place.

keep posting.

[charles]

Hi Garv, well done on looking for help.

Want to know what they will do? How about asking them? As you are talking in £ I’m assuming you are in the UK so whatever they say you can then get free expert advice from either the Citizens Advice bureau or Step Change.

To be honest though the problem isn’t the finances, it’s your gambling. One way or another your current situation will be sorted. What then?

Gambling addiction is progressive in nature, what can you do this time that you haven’t done before? Self exclusion? Gamblers Anonymosu meetigns? Financial barriers and accountability?

Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.

[charles]

Hi Jon, it is never too late for recovery.

When it comes to telling your wife there is never going to be an easy way. What does help though is not just to present the problem; you can also show what you are going to DO to address the problem. Get back to GA meetings, show her this site, we also have a Family Forum where she can get support as well, tie up your finances, talk to your dad and tell him what has happened and ask him not to bail out/lend you any more money. the sort of thing that will help you stop gambling are the same thigns that might help rebuild trust etc. No guarantees there of course but you are going to have a future, you are your son’s Dad howver your relationship with your wife works out, you are going to have future relationships – hopefully with your current partner but if not you aren’t going to become a monk. By stopping gamblign for YOU you will be beter placed whatever happens.

Vera has given you some good suggestions but

“……not sure I’m ready for any of it…..”

I guess the question you need to ask yourself is if you aren’t ready for it now then when? 50k debts? 100k? The advice we don’t want to hear is usually the advcie which will help us stop gambling.

I’m not sure which country you are in but there are plenty of financial options available these days and plenty of free advice agencies to help you get things to a manageable position. Stop gambling and there is always a way to sort things out.

Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.

[charles]

Hi Cozzy,

Well done on your gamble free time.

Do you normally get your hair cut there? if so then that would be a good bookies to get yourself banned from.

Cheltenham can be a tempting time for many, it was one of my favourite race meetigns as well.

Plan that week. Fill your time, have your barriers particularly high. Don’t watch the races on the TV. Avoid newspapers. Minimize the risk and it can just become another week in recovery.

I think we all know some of our vulnerable times. maybe favourite race meetings, sports events, gambling venues etc We can use that knowledge and keep ourselves safe.

Keep posting

[charles]

Hi FG,
When it comes to financial things, whether that’s paying off a debt or saving up for something, I always find it is easier to work out a manageable and sustainable weekly/monthly budgeted amount and then just try and focus on that rather than any big total.

Hopefully see you in a group later.

[charles]

Hi Cam, well doen on coming here and being honest.

It sounds like that is a shop you pop into quite often? Sounds like it would be a good bookies to get yourself banned from. Just take a passport photo and ask for a self exclusion form.

I’d recommend going with someone else and/or not having any money in your pocket – no temptations for a final fling then.

Keep posting.

[charles]

Hi Fritz, well done on your gamble free year, a great achievement.

Milestones are a good time to reflect on recovery, see the differences between then and now. They can also be a suprisingly dangerous time, complacency can kick in, we might feel we can “reward” ourselves and more.

A great achievement but like all of us it’s not your last bet you have to worry about now – it’s our next one we all have to avoid. Keep using the support that has helped you so far and I look forward to hearing you progress in your 2nd year of recovery.

[charles]

Hi Jrb,

Ok the football is on and tempting…..

So, how would you gamble? Where would you gamble? What funds would you use and how would you access them?

What barriers can you put in place now to remove that temptation?

[charles]

Hi Cam, well done on your gamble free days. I think we all know some of the times that we might be at risk, it’s important to use that knowledge.

I too hope that you stuck with your resolve and managed to pass those bookies on the way home. There is Champions league foootball tomorow though, that’s where you can apply that knowledge. The time to apply it isn’t when you try to get passed them though, it’s when you leave the house for work in the morning. Just have enough money on you for lunch, better yet take sandwiches. Leave credit cards etc at home. Another gambling free day 🙂

[charles]

Man asmeniškai GA kambariai yra mano didesnė galia. Aš pats negalėjau nustoti lošti, galiu su GA – pagal apibrėžimą tai man daro GA „galia didesnę už save“. Kiekvienas galime rasti savo aukštesnę jėgą. Galbūt viena iš svarbių priežasčių yra ta, kad leidome azartiniams lošimams/priklausomybei būti mūsų aukštesne jėga ir ilgą laiką valdyti savo gyvenimą.

[charles]

Για μένα προσωπικά, τα δωμάτια GA είναι η υψηλότερη δύναμή μου. Δεν μπορούσα να σταματήσω τον τζόγο μόνος μου, μπορώ με το GA – εξ ορισμού αυτό, για μένα, καθιστά το GA μια "δύναμη μεγαλύτερη από τον εαυτό μου". Όλοι μπορούμε να βρούμε τη δική μας υψηλότερη δύναμη. Maybeσως ένας από τους λόγους που είναι σημαντικός είναι ότι επιτρέψαμε στα τυχερά παιχνίδια/εθισμό να είναι η υψηλότερη δύναμή μας και να ελέγχουμε τη ζωή μας για μεγάλο χρονικό διάστημα.

[charles]

Para mim, pessoalmente, as salas do GA são meu poder superior. Eu não conseguia parar de jogar sozinho, eu consigo com o GA – por definição isso, para mim, torna o GA um "poder maior do que eu". Todos nós podemos encontrar nosso próprio poder superior. Talvez uma das razões importantes seja que permitimos que o jogo / vício fosse nosso poder superior e controlasse nossas vidas por um longo tempo.

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