Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Totovar,
Keep reading the otehr stories here and keep posting. What things have helped ohters that you can apply to your own situation?
It’s an old saying – actions speak louder than words. Take the actions now that will both help you stop gambling and help to start rebuilding trust with your family.
Hopefully see you in a group soon.
<
Hello totovar and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi Adam, well done on your gamble free time. Be careful with your back. One thing that recovery allows us to do is to pay more attention with our health, whether that’s going to the doctors, check ups at dentists or whatever. I’ve had various problems with my back in the past and have visited a private osteopath to get it sorted out. £40 or £50 has always saved me a lot of pain, speeded up any recovery (again reducing pain) and stopping me losing time for work which pretty well made it pay for itself. Might be worth while investing some of the money stopping gambling has saved you. If it then turns out to be a bigger problem then that’s the time to go to your DR and go on a waiting list.
Keep posting.
Hi bobert and welcome to the forum. Well done on looking for help.
You, like all of us, have many times discovered that when we lose our money we can’t gamble.
Read the other stories here and you will see how many people use that knowledge. You are dreading payday? The BEFORE payday why not put things in place so that someone else is looking after your money for you? Accountability is a good barrier. I expect a family member could help you with this? Once we remove our instant, unaccountable access to money we can’t act on an urge, we can’t choose to go to the bookies. Payday then becoems like any other gamble free day.
Use your knowledge – no money = no gambling.
Keep posting.
Hi Kathryn, the good news is that you know you can do this. get back to the things that helped you in the past. Back to basics. Get those barriers in place, post here, connect to groups. The things that you know helped in the past. Hopefully see you in a group agan soon.
Hi Mosreal, well done on looking for help.
Many of us here, myself included, have done things we aren’t proud of. the past can not be changed. You can make amends though, you can repay that money. What arrangements have you made?
Can you speak to teh person concerned and make arangements to pay her back over time? IF your parents pay will you make arrangements to repay them?
You current financial problems will be dealt with one way or another, it is your gambling that now needs to be addressed.
Read the other stories here. You will see the sort of thing that has helped others stop gambling. Where do you normally gamble? is it somewhere that you can self exclude from?There is a lot of help available to you. Here, other sites like this. i see there is a gamblers anonymous meeting in Ukraine, is that close to where you are?
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing
Hello Iwillbeatthis and welcome to the forum. Well done on looking for help. If you are reading the other stories here you will have seen that you are not alone with this problem, you will also ahve seen the sort of things that have helped others to stop gambling. – which of those things can you apply to your own situation?
How about getting yourself banned from your local/usual casino? Ask your husband to go with you when you get yourself excluded, it will both help you stop gambling and show him how serious you are about sorting out this problem.
Financial accountability helps as well, again your husband can help with that. It wil be important to come clean about any and all debts though, trying to keep debts hidden can in itself send someone back to gambling.
It is important to use support, if any of us could do it on our own then we wouldn’t be here in the first place. Luckily there is a lot of support avaialble these days – here and otehr sites like this, we also have live groups as well as the forums and a one to one helpline. Gamblers Anonymous meetigns also help many, counselling and more options are avaialble.
Now, the trip to Vegas. If it was me I wouldn’t go but the trip is paid for and it’s your decision. IF you go though then plan your trip before you go. Don’t spend your time there watching your relatives gamble, that will make it pretty much impossible for you. I know people who have gone to Vegas and not gambled, they ahve seen the sites, gone to the shows, gone on sight seeign trips etc etc Plan those trips before you go, have your time tied up away from gambling.
Is your husband going with you? Or someone you trust to both hold your money and be strong enough not to let you have it to gamble with?
You have already told people about your problem, whether they understand or not it is important that you ask them not to lend you any money for you to gamble with while you are there. Have that discussion BEFORE you go of course.
In the future then you will need to find other ways to meet up with family. A beach holiday maybe, theatre trips or whatever.
Whether you decide to go to Vegas or not, whatever happens there whne you do the important thing is to use the support tha is available to you. Keep posting here and hopefully I will also meet you in a group here soon.
<
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Kin, well done on continuing to use support here and elsewhere.
I am concerned about your health though, have you sought medical advcie yet?
Hi, I have to make a change and welcome to the forum.
Good name, so what can you change? What things can you start to put in place before you get paid next?
Keep reading the other stories here, you will see that you are not along with this problem. you will also see the sort of things that have helped others stop gambling. How about getting yourself banned from that club? Yes I know there are other gambling places but it will take you out of the one you are using now. it will stop you being tempted to gamble with your friend when she goes there. Is there anyone who could hold your money for you when you do get paid?
There is a lot of support available to you now – here, places like Gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more.
Regarding those debts there are also a lot of financial options available these days, from repayment plans to bankruptcy and a lot in between. Get some proper financial advice. If you click on the resources link here or connect to the helpline you will be able to get some useful links for that.
Don’t wait until next pay day, keep posting and let us know what thigns youa re starting to put in place now.
Well done on not gambling Whatif. A £2 limit on the FOBT’s? In reality that would just mean that an active CG would just take longer to lose their money. far better to avoid them completely like you are doing.
Mav, things are going to be tight this month, of course. Can’t change that. How about next month? What can you do differently? As Vera suggested, is there any reason you need your full “months allowance’ in one go? What else can you do differently? It sounds like you have several debts at the moment that your wife doesn’t know about? That in itself is going to make it hard for you. How can you service hidden debts if you are being properly accountable and limiting your access to gambling funds?
Mav, you give great advice – how would you advise someone else if they were in your situation?
Hi Steven, good idea on having your money in your g/f’s account. Is she aware of the problem? If you asked her for a lump of money will she ask you what it is for? It will still be your money of course, to spend on buying/doing things, but an element of accountability helps.
Does she know aboput your debts/credit cards? It is important that she does or of course it will be hard to maintain debt repayments if she is looking after your money for you. Trying to keep debts hidden can in itself send people gambling.
Are your debts manageable? If not then you can get some expert, free advice at either the Citizens Advice Bureau or Stepchange.
Keep posting.
Hi again ALew.
If you have been reading someof the other stories here you will have seen how accountability can help. Is there anyone you could talk to that could help you with this? There are lots of accounts out there where you money isn’t quite so accessible.
I used to stagger my money with varying levels of access. You are planning on buying somewhere in the next year? Then how about an account where you have to give a few months notice to access your money? You need some savings more readily available? Then a Building Society account where you have to visit the branch to withdraw money. No ATM or Internet access. Even the £50 in your wallet? Do you really need to carry that much on a daily basis?
We put a lot of time, effort and thought into our gambling. Put the same thought and effort in now and I am sure you can find a way to keep your money safe.
Keep posting.
Hi Alew and welcome to the forum. Which of the thigns you have read can you apply to your own situation? Have you got yourself banned from those bookies? Have you got a blocker for your PC to stop you visiting any gambling site?
Is there anyone you can confide in who could help you with financial barriers?
I wouldn’t rule GA out, I am agnostic and it helps for me. There are agnostic versions of the steps and serenity prayer that you can easily find online. It isn’t religious. Besides if one meeting helped you stop for 2 years then that in itself might be a good reason to try again.
Anyway, keep posting here and let us know what steps you are starting to take.
