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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Well done on your gamble free time and on having those barriers in place.
Hi milkncereal, well done on looking for help.
She rolled her eyes? Why wouldn’t she? My family were the same – they had heard it all before.
There is a very old saying – actions speak louder than words. It is particularly true with stopping gambling, especially when they ahve heard the words before.
The good news is that the actions that will help you remain gamble free are the same actions that can help rebuild the trust. Things like getting to those meetings, posting here, barriers such as self exclusion and financial accountability. You want her to trust you – then show her your bank account etc so that she KNOWS you aren’t gambling.
One thing you could do straight away – you have closed your account until 2018? Why? Why not ask them to exclude you permanently?
Keep posting and let us know the positive actions you are starting to take. Maybe show your partner this site as well, she might find the Friends and family Forum useful.
Hi Josh, well done on looking for help.
Read the other stories here, you will see that you are not alone wiht this problem. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
Does your wife know about your gambling? or that it is a problem? She could help you with finanacial barriers and accountability. What other barriers can you put in place?
It sounds like the previous times you ahve stopped you ahve done it on your own. This time you will be using support and can be stronger still. As well as posting here check out your local Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Also this time remember that it’s not just about stopping, it’s about staying stopped. Keep posting and using support to maintain your recovery as well.
Keep posting and check out the live groups we have here as well.
Well done I did it.
No money = no gambling.
We all know that one. We learnt it when gambling and now we use it in recovery.
You now want to be mindful of what you eat? Well as someone who works in a place where the canteen is always open I can tell you that no money also = no buying extra, unplanned snacks, no buying sweets or wine on the way home from work etc etc
Not carrying money helps with the no gambling, it will aslo help you be that person who looks after your body. 🙂
Hello Labrat, firstly my commiserations for your loss.
Well done on looking for help, I am really glad that you have done so now, while you haven’t got any money, as opposed to after the house is sold and you have lost whatever lump sum you will get from that.
I see you are in London, you have a lot of help available to you there. Regarding your finances you can get free, expert advice from either the Citizens Advice Bureau or Stepchange. If your financial difficulties are only going to be short term ie until the hosue is sold, then maybe you could explain that to whoever you owe the money to.
Whatever you do regarding the finances the most important thing is to address your gambling. Read the other stories here, what barriers could you put in place to make it harder for you to place your next bet?
“….I’d be willing to stop gambling and attend GA meetings ….”
I hope you change that to “I AM willing to……” There are LOTS of GA meetigns in London, if the worst happens then you will need meetings and support to stay gamble free more than ever.
You can stop gambling I promise you, keep posting here, get to meetings and get some proper financial advice.
As you have mentioned what you spend the day debating then I think I should also give you this link to the Samaritans here in the UK http://www.samaritans.org/
There is always someone to talk to there.
There is a lot of life after gambling though, use the support that you have avaialble, here and/or elsewhere. keep posting and let us know some of the positive steps you are starting to take.
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
A question for you.
“I will not gamble again”
How many times have you said that to yourself in the past?
Now 20 Questions for you…
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions
Keep posting and let us know how many “yeses” you score.
Hi James. As Vera says, put a plan in place. Forget “12 months from now” though. Put a manageable budgeted plan in place and then just focus on the manageable weekly/monthly payment.
The main problem isn’t your finances though, it’s your gambling. What things can you start tp put in place that will help you avoid your next bet?
Hi Mav,
Well done on coming back here.
Maye the question you ask yourself shouldn’t be “Why do i do what I do?”. Maybe it needs to be “Why don’t I do the things I know would make it harder for me to gamble?” Things like financial barriers/accountability. Things like posting here more often getting to GA meetings. Things like returning to that bookies, with no money on you, and getting banned.
Keep posting and maybe answering some of those?
Hi, I look forward to hearing how ytou have spent your gamble free time over the next few days. the important thing is that you keep using support. if being away from your computer limits that then maybe look at other options as well, Is there a Gamblers Anonymous meeting in your area?
Keep posting.
Hi Imran, well done on looking for help.
Can you survive for 3 years on that money plus your income? I don’t know, no here really can tell you either. You could get that free advice from the Citizens Advice bureau or StepCahnge, at least you can look at your options then.
If it means three years living frugally then that will be hard. What reason will you give your wife for that frugality? Trying to keep debts hidden, or having to live like a hermit to clear them has sent many people back to gambling.
Whatever your decisions financially the important thing is that you want to stop gambling. Read the otehr stories here, what things are helping others? What barriers can you put in place? What support can you use?
Keep posting and let us know the steps that you are starting to take.
Ich hoffe, Sie fanden es nützlich, Vera, ich kann damit umgehen! 🙂
Håper du synes det var nyttig Vera, jeg takler det! 🙂
Sper că ți s-a părut util Vera, pot face față! 🙂
