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I’m sure it has. It does help to talk to others in the same position. I hope you manage to connect to the group here tomorrow evening. If you click on “Support Groups” then you will see the full group schedule.
When you “got tough” you took the actions that were right for YOU. That makes them the right actions. He knows where support is, it’ll be up to him as to if/when he uses it. As Velvet has said, Compulsive gamblers are masters of manipulation and self justification. he feels ashamed? Clearly not ashamed enough to take the steps he needs to take to address things.
As I said, now it is important that you focus on the important person here – you.
I hope this helps.
Hi Tinker Bell,
I see that you have posted this on a new thread as well but I thought I would reply here; it helps to keep things on the one thread, it’s easier to look back on and feedback and suggestions are less likely to be missed.
I myself am a Compulsive gambler who hasn’t had a bet in a while now. I facilitate some of the groups here and there is a group for new members that is open now if you would like to connect to it. Alternatively Velvet hosts a group for Friends and Family tomorrow where you could talk to people in the same position as yourself.
From what you have said it doesn’t sound like your ex is anywhere near ready to address his gambling. As Velvet has said, it sounds like he has found someone else to fund his gambling.
That being the case there is still a lot of support available for YOU. Keep posting here, connect to the groups if you can. Read the other stories as well, you have to focus on you now.
Any break up is hard, what has happened is not your fault I promise you. Things didn’t “backfire” you did the right thing in getting tough. Gambling is a progressive illness and ig you hadn’t got tough now then things would have gotten a lot worse as he carried on dragging you both down.
I had the same illness as your ex. Yes it might have been the illness that turned me into an ****hole, unfortunately that didn’t change the fact that I WAS that ****hole! It was ME.
Again keep posting here, I hope you connect to the groups as well. Keep talking and use all the support you need to give you the strength you need.
Hi Coaster and welcome back.
I checked out your previous thread, here is a link to it if you wanted to remind yourself of some of the advice you got a couple of months ago.
https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/comment/32262#comment-32262
Which of the suggestions you got back then can you implement? Which of the thigns you will be reading on other threads can you apply to your own situation?
Keep posting.
Hi Jaylee, well done on looking for help.
Read the other threads here. You will see a lot of stories simialr to your own. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
Well done on excluding yourself from those sites. You can also get a blocker for your PC.
You have found what most of us find – when we lose our money we can’t gamble! Now you can use that knowledge, who could look after it for you so that you can’t access it easily to gamble with? Accountability is a good barrier.
Keep posting.
Speaking from my own experience I found that when people clearly knew I was being less than truthful, about some things, then they had no way of knowing when I was being honest. They therefore pretty much couldn’t trust me at all.
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Friends & Family
Kiitos, tein sen. Voit lähettää aiheeseen liittyviä ehdotuksia sähköpostitse toimistoon ja/tai lähettää ne Palaute- ja ehdotusehdotukseen. Lisäksi tietenkin "normaalit" ryhmät ovat täällä keskustelemassa melkein kaikista palautumiseen liittyvistä asioista, joten silloin kun kenelläkään ei ole mitään erityistä tai pakottavaa ongelmaa, voit aina ehdottaa keskustelun aihetta.
Дякую, що я це зробив. Будь -ласка, надішліть будь -які пропозиції з питань теми до офісу та/або опублікуйте їх у форумі «Відгуки та пропозиції». Крім того, звичайно, "нормальні" групи тут обговорюють практично все, що стосується відновлення, тому в ті часи, коли ні в кого немає певних чи нагальних проблем, які їм потрібно вирішити, ви завжди можете запропонувати тему для обговорення.
Gracias, lo hice, no dude en enviar por correo electrónico cualquier sugerencia de tema a la oficina y / o publicarla en la sección Comentarios y sugerencias. Además, por supuesto, los grupos "normales" están aquí para discutir prácticamente cualquier tema relacionado con la recuperación, por lo que para los momentos en que nadie tiene un problema particular o urgente que deba abordar, siempre puede sugerir un tema de discusión.
Danke, dass ich es getan habe, bitte zögern Sie nicht, Themenvorschläge per E-Mail an das Büro zu senden und/oder sie im Feedback- und Vorschlagsforum zu posten. Außerdem sind natürlich die "normalen" Gruppen hier, um so ziemlich alles zu diskutieren, was mit der Genesung zu tun hat. Wenn also niemand ein bestimmtes oder dringendes Problem hat, das er ansprechen muss, können Sie immer ein Diskussionsthema vorschlagen.
شکریہ میں نے یہ کیا ، برائے مہربانی بلا جھجھک کسی بھی موضوع کی تجاویز کو دفتر میں ای میل کریں اور/یا انھیں تاثرات اور تجاویز کے فریم میں پوسٹ کریں۔ نیز ، یقینا ، "نارمل" گروپس یہاں بہت زیادہ بحالی سے متعلق کسی بھی چیز پر بات چیت کرنے کے لیے موجود ہیں لہذا اس وقت کے لیے جب کسی کو کوئی خاص یا دباؤ کا مسئلہ درپیش نہ ہو تو آپ ہمیشہ بحث کا موضوع تجویز کر سکتے ہیں۔
Paldies, es to izdarīju, lūdzu, nekautrējieties nosūtīt birojam visus e -pasta ziņojumus par tēmām un/vai ievietot tos atsauksmju un ieteikumu vietnē. Arī, protams, "parastās" grupas ir šeit, lai apspriestu gandrīz visu, kas saistīts ar atveseļošanos, tāpēc gadījumos, kad nevienam nav nekādu īpašu vai neatliekamu problēmu, kas jums jārisina, jūs vienmēr varat ieteikt diskusijas tēmu.
धन्यवाद मैंने कर दिया, कृपया बेझिझक किसी भी विषय के सुझाव कार्यालय को ईमेल करें और/या उन्हें फीडबैक और सुझाव फ्रॉम में पोस्ट करें। इसके अलावा, निश्चित रूप से, "सामान्य" समूह यहां बहुत कुछ वसूली से संबंधित चर्चा करने के लिए हैं, इसलिए उस समय के लिए जब किसी के पास कोई विशेष या दबाव वाला मुद्दा नहीं है, तो उन्हें आपको हमेशा चर्चा का विषय सुझा सकते हैं।
Takk, jeg gjorde det. Send gjerne emneforslag til kontoret og/eller legg dem inn i tilbakemeldingen og forslagene Froum. Selvfølgelig er de "normale" gruppene her for å diskutere stort sett alt som er relatert til gjenoppretting, så når ingen har noe spesielt eller presserende problem de trenger å ta opp, kan du alltid foreslå et diskusjonstema da.
Bedankt, ik heb het gedaan, aarzel niet om suggesties voor een onderwerp naar het kantoor te e-mailen en/of post ze in de Feedback en Suggesties Froum. Natuurlijk zijn de "normale" groepen hier om vrijwel alles te bespreken wat met herstel te maken heeft, dus voor de keren dat niemand een bepaald of dringend probleem heeft dat ze moeten aanpakken, kun je altijd een discussieonderwerp voorstellen.
