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I’m sure it has. It does help to talk to others in the same position. I hope you manage to connect to the group here tomorrow evening. If you click on “Support Groups” then you will see the full group schedule.
When you “got tough” you took the actions that were right for YOU. That makes them the right actions. He knows where support is, it’ll be up to him as to if/when he uses it. As Velvet has said, Compulsive gamblers are masters of manipulation and self justification. he feels ashamed? Clearly not ashamed enough to take the steps he needs to take to address things.
As I said, now it is important that you focus on the important person here – you.
I hope this helps.
Hi Tinker Bell,
I see that you have posted this on a new thread as well but I thought I would reply here; it helps to keep things on the one thread, it’s easier to look back on and feedback and suggestions are less likely to be missed.
I myself am a Compulsive gambler who hasn’t had a bet in a while now. I facilitate some of the groups here and there is a group for new members that is open now if you would like to connect to it. Alternatively Velvet hosts a group for Friends and Family tomorrow where you could talk to people in the same position as yourself.
From what you have said it doesn’t sound like your ex is anywhere near ready to address his gambling. As Velvet has said, it sounds like he has found someone else to fund his gambling.
That being the case there is still a lot of support available for YOU. Keep posting here, connect to the groups if you can. Read the other stories as well, you have to focus on you now.
Any break up is hard, what has happened is not your fault I promise you. Things didn’t “backfire” you did the right thing in getting tough. Gambling is a progressive illness and ig you hadn’t got tough now then things would have gotten a lot worse as he carried on dragging you both down.
I had the same illness as your ex. Yes it might have been the illness that turned me into an ****hole, unfortunately that didn’t change the fact that I WAS that ****hole! It was ME.
Again keep posting here, I hope you connect to the groups as well. Keep talking and use all the support you need to give you the strength you need.
Hi Coaster and welcome back.
I checked out your previous thread, here is a link to it if you wanted to remind yourself of some of the advice you got a couple of months ago.
https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/comment/32262#comment-32262
Which of the suggestions you got back then can you implement? Which of the thigns you will be reading on other threads can you apply to your own situation?
Keep posting.
Hi Jaylee, well done on looking for help.
Read the other threads here. You will see a lot of stories simialr to your own. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
Well done on excluding yourself from those sites. You can also get a blocker for your PC.
You have found what most of us find – when we lose our money we can’t gamble! Now you can use that knowledge, who could look after it for you so that you can’t access it easily to gamble with? Accountability is a good barrier.
Keep posting.
Speaking from my own experience I found that when people clearly knew I was being less than truthful, about some things, then they had no way of knowing when I was being honest. They therefore pretty much couldn’t trust me at all.
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Friends & Family
Grazzi li għamiltha, jekk jogħġbok tħossok liberu li tibgħat email kwalunkwe suġġeriment tas-Suġġett lill-uffiċċju u / jew tibgħathom fil-Feedback u Suġġerimenti Froum. Ukoll, naturalment, il-gruppi "normali" qegħdin hawn biex jiddiskutu kważi kull ħaġa relatata mal-irkupru u għalhekk għaż-żminijiet meta ħadd ma għandu xi kwistjoni partikolari jew urġenti li jeħtieġ li jindirizza int tista 'dejjem tissuġġerixxi suġġett ta' diskussjoni allura …
Vă mulțumim că am făcut-o, vă rugăm să nu ezitați să trimiteți prin e-mail orice sugestie de subiect la birou și / sau să le postați în Feedback și sugestii Froum. De asemenea, desigur, grupurile „normale” sunt aici pentru a discuta despre orice recuperare legată, astfel încât pentru momentele în care nimeni nu are vreo problemă specială sau presantă pe care trebuie să o abordeze, puteți sugera întotdeauna un subiect de discuție atunci …
Díky, udělal jsem to. Neváhejte a pošlete e -mailem jakékoli návrhy témat do kanceláře a/nebo je zveřejněte v sekci Feedback and Suggestions Froum. Samozřejmě, „normální“ skupiny jsou tu, aby diskutovaly téměř o všem, co souvisí s obnovou, takže v době, kdy nikdo nemá žádný konkrétní nebo naléhavý problém, který musí řešit, můžete vždy navrhnout téma diskuse.
Tak, jeg gjorde det. Du er velkommen til at sende eventuelle emneforslag til kontoret og/eller sende dem i feedback og forslag Froum. Naturligvis er de "normale" grupper her for at diskutere stort set alt, hvad der er relateret til genopretning, så på de tidspunkter, hvor ingen har et bestemt eller presserende problem, de skal løse, kan du altid foreslå et diskussionsemne.
Merci, je l'ai fait, n'hésitez pas à envoyer vos suggestions de sujets par e-mail au bureau et/ou à les publier dans le forum de commentaires et de suggestions. De plus, bien sûr, les groupes "normaux" sont là pour discuter à peu près de tout ce qui concerne la récupération, donc pour les moments où personne n'a de problème particulier ou urgent à résoudre, vous pouvez toujours suggérer un sujet de discussion.
Ευχαριστώ, το έκανα, μη διστάσετε να στείλετε email στο γραφείο τυχόν προτάσεις θεμάτων ή/και να τις δημοσιεύσετε στο Froum Feedback and Suggestions. Επίσης, φυσικά, οι «κανονικές» ομάδες είναι εδώ για να συζητήσουν σχεδόν οτιδήποτε σχετίζεται με την ανάκτηση, οπότε για τις εποχές που κανείς δεν έχει κάποιο ιδιαίτερο ή πιεστικό ζήτημα που πρέπει να αντιμετωπίσει, μπορείτε πάντα να προτείνετε ένα θέμα συζήτησης τότε.
Teşekkürler, başardım, lütfen herhangi bir Konu önerisini ofise e-posta ile göndermekten ve/veya bunları Geri Bildirim ve Öneriler'de yayınlamaktan çekinmeyin. Ayrıca, elbette, "normal" gruplar kurtarma ile ilgili hemen hemen her şeyi tartışmak için buradalar, bu nedenle kimsenin ele alması gereken belirli veya acil bir sorunu olmadığı zamanlar için her zaman bir tartışma konusu önerebilirsiniz..
Obrigado, eu fiz isso, sinta-se à vontade para enviar por e-mail qualquer sugestão de Tópico para o escritório e / ou postá-la no Froum de Feedback e Sugestões. Além disso, é claro, os grupos "normais" estão aqui para discutir praticamente qualquer coisa relacionada à recuperação, portanto, nos momentos em que ninguém tem nenhum problema particular ou urgente que precise abordar, você pode sempre sugerir um tópico de discussão.
Tack, jag gjorde det, skicka gärna e -postförslag till ämnet och/eller posta dem i Feedback och förslag Froum. Naturligtvis är de "normala" grupperna här för att diskutera i stort sett allt återhämtningsrelaterat, så för de gånger då ingen har någon särskild eller angelägen fråga de behöver ta upp kan du alltid föreslå ett diskussionsämne då ..
