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Hi Catherine, well doen on looking for help. Unfortunately this is a quieter forum, as I suggested to Blimblam (above) please check out the My Journal Froum. You will read a lot of stories similar to your own and when you start your own thread there you will get a lot of support.
I hope to read more of your story there or maybe talk about your recovery options in one of the real time groups.
Hi Movingforward, well done on looking for help. Also well done on the steps that you have already taken.
You have stopped for months at a time in the past so know that you can stop. This time USE those months, get inot the habit of using support here and elsewhere. This time in a few months tome you will still be here posting and gaining strength, still have those barriers in place.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.
Hi,
There is never going to be an easy way to tell partners/family but what does make it easier is to not just present the problem but rather to also show her what you are going to DO to deal with the issue. Note I said SHOW not tell. Actions speak louder than words. You don’t trust yourself with money? That’s fine, then get your wages paid/transferred into your partners account, It’s still your money of course but you won’t have easy accessto it, you will be accountable. Get yourself banned from those local casinos, get to those GA meetings, keep posting here.
You might want to show her this site as well, there is a Family and friends forum where she can also get support and advice.
Keep posting and remember – the problem isn’t as important as what you are going to DO about it.
You will not be back?
Well to be honest the best way to not have to come back is……. not to leave in the first place.
If we need help to stop gambling then it is also important to use support to maintain our recovery.
You stopped before you will stop now, this time though if you keep posting you will be stronger in your recovery.
Those positive things to fill your time are important, well done.
The blocker and keeping your remaining savings safe would be good moves though. If/when you do tell your wife then it does make it a little easier to not just present the problem but to show her the actions you are taking to deal with it.
Hi I did it, you have had a tough week and can cancel those “plans” stays strong.
Tomorrow you will be back in relative safety but be aware of that as well. I have known people go to Vegas and not gamble, then gamble when they get home and relax.
Stay focused.
Then for the sake of your repayment plan and for the skin of your teeth maybe getting back to the meetings that helped you would be a good idea?
A question.
If one meeting a week wasn’t enough for you….. how many are you getting to now?
Hi Greenstar and welcome. Well done on looking for help.
Now, while you are “licking your wounds” it is important to put as many things in place as possible. Then you will be prepared for when the pain fades and the urges may return.
Well done on excluding from those sites, how about getting a blocker as well?
If you have lost about a fifth of your savings then i would also strongly recommend putting the remaining 80% somewhere safe. Maybe in an account only your wife can access? Have you spoken to her about this?
Keep posting, keep taking positive steps.
Hi Peter, well done on looking for help and for excluding from the sites you have excluded from so far. Excluded from “….most sites i know….” makes it sound like you have left some loopholes open though. Exclude from the rest and, as others have suggested, I would recommend getting a blocker.
I remember when I first stopped I wouldn’t switch on or look at matches until after kick off, at least that way I avoided all the pre match odds etc.
I used to think I was a footy fan…. though often I wouldn’t want my team to win unless it as a certain player who scored, I might not want my team to score more than x number of goals, I often wanted my team to concede a goal! Occasionally even lose!! Was I a fan? I don’t think so really, I am now though.
Be honest with yourself, if watching the matches right now makes thigns too hard for you then don’t watch, plan your time with other things.
Keep posting and I hope you enjoy the football as a fan, not as someone who likes to gamble on a match.
Hi Lynda, well done on looking for help and thanks to Geordie for pointing you in the right direction.
As you have been reading the other stories here you will already have seen many things that you will relate to. You will also have seen the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
What barriers can you put in place? Self exclusion from where ever it is you normally gamble? Blockers for your PC/phone if you gamble on line? How can you limit your access to funds with which to gamble? Try and put things in place before your next annuity.
There is a lot of support available to us these days, here and other sites, places like gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are starting to take.
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi Laura,
Getting to GA meetings would be a good idea. I am sure you can make friends there and have someone you can call if you can’t find anyone in the Open groups here.
If you can get to the other groups here then the all have a facilitator so always someone to talk to.
Keep posting.
Hi NeedtoStop, well done on looking for help.
Take a look at the My Journal Froum. You will see a lot of stories similar to your own. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
The most important piece of advice i can ever give anyone is to USE the support that is available, if we could do it on our own then none of us would be here. Keep posting, check out your local Gamblers Anonymous meetigns.
Well done on reinstating that ban.
It sounds like your girlfriend already knows about your gamblign problem. Show her by your actions how determined you are to address the problem.
Keep posting but I would recommend posting in the My Journal Forum. It is a busier forum and you will get more feedback and support there.
Hi BlimBlam and welcome to the site.
Well done on looking for help. The good news is that there is a lot of help available to you here in the UK. This site, Gamcare, Gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more.
You don’t know what is wrong with you? You have a gambling addiction. As such i’m afraid there is no such thing as “HAD” a problem – there is no return to normal gambling. You can stop gambling though.
Read the other stories in the My Journal Forum. You will see a lot similar to your own. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
What barriers can you put in place?
Telling your wife would help, she can help with some of those barriers.
You think she doesn’t already know that there is a problem of some kind? She is aware of your previous issues, she voiced suspicions a few weeks ago and from, what you say, she will also have seen changes in your behaviour due to your gambling/depression. Telling her won’t be easy but this time you can show her by your actions what you are going to DO to deal with the situation. The actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that can help rebuild trust etc
Are the finances manageable? If servicing your debts means living like a hermit thaen that isn’t really sustainable. Again in the UK you can talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau or Stepchange to get free, expert advice.
I suggested you take a look at the My Journal Forum. I would also suggest that you copy and paste your initial post there – it is a busier forum and you will get a lot more feedback and support there.
