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Hi Craig, well done on your gamble free time. My recommendation would be to come clean with your parents.
You won’t just be presenting the problem, you will be showing them how you are going to deal with it.
Trying to keep things hidden, particularly financial things, can in itself send someone gambling.
Keep posting.
Maybe check out the Group schedule as well and connect to one of the New Member groups or one of the other ones.
You can stop gambling.
Hi Real Quiet,
I thought I would bump this thread up for you so that you can get the support that you want/need.
You did get some good suggestions here, which things did you try? Which things helped/didn’t help? Where and how did you last gamble and what would have made it harder for you to place that bet?
Keep posting and let us know the positive things that you are doing to avoid your next bet.
Hello Sam and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi 4site, well done on looking for help. Well done as well on the steps that you have already taken, posting here, being honest with your wife etc. Do you have any debts? if so then it is important that she knows about them as well – otherwise if she is helping you with accountability then how can you service the debt?
Keep posting and reading here. Maybe use other support as well, check out your local GA meeting for instance.
If I had to give just one piece of advice it is to use the help that is available – if we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place.
Hi Justletmerip, well doen on looking for help.
Well done on telling your addiction to **** off!! Now, what can you do to really annoy it? Get a blocker to stop the online gambling? Limiting your access to funds with which to gamble? If you are near Vegas then yes you have a lot of gambling establishments close to you. You also have a lot of support available. For instance over 140 GA meetings the last time I heard, get to some of them, that will really be something your addiction won’t want you to do.
Keep posting, keep reading the other stories here.
Hi Lori, sounds like a good idea from your gambling counsellor.
I would adapt I did it’s idea, write down everything for when you go and talk to them. Reading something you have already thought about and written down will help keep those emotions in check and also make sure that you don’t forget anything you want to say on the day.
Hi Stade, well done on looking for help.
You have already had some good pointers.
If you want to know how to not gamble “…..in those little moments when I think I can see a way of making money. ” then the answer is to put thigns in place in moments like now, when you don’t want to gamble, then you will be less able to act on those urges when they return.
As others have suggested, get banned from whereever it is you gamble, make yourself accountable to someone for your money. Restrict your access to funds.
Most important of all use the support, this time you won’t be fighting the urges on your own, you will be posting regularly here, amybe getting to Gamblers Anonymous meetigns or other support as well.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.
Hello Stade and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi ManEvil and welcome to this part of the site. Well done on looking for help and for persevering when the Chinese forums were quiet.
Read the other stories here, if English isn’t easy for you then try Google Translate. 🙂
Look at the things that are working for others – which of those things can you apply to your own situation? Barriers can help a lot, if you gamble online then you can get a blocker for your computer or phone. Restricting access to funds helps – who could help you by holding your money for you and with accountability?
Finding other, more positive ways to fill your time is also important. Kep posting here and maybe let us know a little bit more about the type of gambling you do and on the positive steps that you can start taking.
Hi Kady, well done for looking for help.
You are not alone with this problem, read the other stories here and you will see a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
There is no easy way to tell your partenr and your parents. What does make it easier though is not just to present the problem – you can also show them what you are going to do about it.
Reading the other stories here you will see how barriers can help, you can get yourself banned from your usual gambling sites and get a blocker for your PC/phone that will stop you finding other sites. Financial barriers also help, it sounds like you currently have easy access to the household funds, you can change that.
The most important advice I can give you is to use the support that you have available. If we could do it on our own then none of us would be here in the first place. Keep posting here, maybe check out your local Gamblers Anonymous meetings.
From what you say, sooner or later he is going to find out anyway so better you tell him. You can also show him the positive actions you are going to take. We also have a Friends and Family Forum that he might find useful.
Keep posting and you are always welcome in the groups we have here.
Hello Kady and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hi Laura, well done on coming here and being honest.
Geordie has made some good, tough points and vera has asked the question that we all need to answer – What can you do differently?
You already know some of those “differentlys” Accountability, getting to GA. The question you have to decide is whetehr to do that now? Or later when possibly deeper in the mire.
Lack of cash is an issue, are things manageable financially? Ifnot then get some proper financial advice as well. there are a lot of options around these days, from some sort of repayment plan through to bankruptcy.
Keep posting. Let us know the positive steps that you are taking.
Hi Darren,
“……I guess the next hurdle will be pay day next week…..”
Use that awareness darren. What things can you put in place BEFORE payday? Be excluded/blocked from your usual gambling venues/sites?
You mention your wife’s trust – the actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that can ehlp rebuild that trust.
It is an old saying – actions speak louder than words. keep posting and let us, and your wife, know the positive actions that you are going to take before payday.
Have your wages paid into your wifes account? Set up an automatic transfer to an account that only she has access to?
Good awareness Jonny, finally clearing a debt is great of course but it can also be a dangerous time for a compulsive gambler – we suddenly have more available funds.
Use that awareness and make plans for when that happens – maybe being accountable to someone, maybe having the majority of funds in an account that isn’t instantly accessible, maybe one that you need to give x number of days notice for, one that you can’t access online, that sort of thing.
Well done on your gamble free time.
