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(((Carole))) I am glad that your mother has been discharged from hospital and that they have homecare organized for her for her meds. It will be easier for everyone when she is in a place with care all the time.
I am exhausted reading about all the cleaning your are doing with 7 rooms rented, and I know that I would be better doing something physical than sitting at a desk all day. You sound more content and settled which is wonderful. I am sure that your granddaughters are loving having you so close again.
I am sure that you are like me and enjoying the nicer sunnier days as it has been a long hard winter. Have a great gamble free day!!!

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Thanks for sharing that Ican. I love to read all the different motivational posts. When you think about how we can feel down in the dumps, sad or whatever we want to call it, and we can go out and someone says something to you and makes you laugh and smile it can change your whole attitude. We can look and find the good in situations, people or whatever or we can find the negative. It is so much easier when we feel down to be negative and look at the glass half empty, but when we smile and feel positive we are happy with what we have in life.
I know for me that the most precious gift I have been given in this life is my children and grandchildren, better add hubby to that LOL It is not the material things that really matter as when we leave this life our fancy car, jewellery wont remember us, but our children, grandchildren will. I will enjoy this day and be positive and thankful. I do not plan on gambling. Wishing everyone a fun gamble free day!!!

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I hate this disease and what it does to so many wonderful and caring people. I read the pain that is written by so many as they struggle with this addiction. There is no easy or magic pill to keep us away from gambling, in my case, slot machines. How can it turn people into doing things they would never consider doing under normal circumstances. I remember pay day was a trigger for me as I had money I could gamble again. I went from someone who always paid their bills on time to this person who did not care about that any more, but wanted the money to put in machines. The reason I went for help was that I was devastated on how much money I had lost. I believe that is the main reason anyone goes for help. I could not believe that I was addicted to slot machines. How could any normal, intelligent person sit and watch machines go round and keep feeding money into them. It does not make sense, but it is what happens. The addictive brain does not see it like that though, all we want is the high, the buzz or whatever we want to call it, or is it just to escape. I don’t know what the hell it is, but it causes so much pain and suffering to so many. I am angry about this right now. I don’t want people to have to go through all this. The funny thing is I am so mad about it that I want to run to and play a slot machine. Now how frigging stupid is that. I have to calm down and breath as this is not helping me. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I am getting out my anger and frustration and I apologize if my words offend anyone.

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One day at a time, on hour, one minute, one second whatever it takes just hang in there and you will get there. I feel for you and what you are going through. I HATE this addiction and what it does to us. It is always there lurking and waiting to pull us back. I know without a doubt that if I went once that I would not have a slip either P, I would be a crazy person unable to stop. You have come back P and I am not even suggesting that it is going to be easy for you, but hang in there and never ever give up.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and we would not be compulsive gamblers, but unfortunately that is just a dream. We just have to continue to take it one day at a time. It is not easy P, and I know that you are going through hell right now, but keep going girl and you will get through this. I know you will find the strength to fight the urges and stay away just for today.
I am envisioning you sitting having your coffee and reading posts. One day, one hour, one minute at a time, whatever it takes P to get through this, you will get there!!!!

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Peacegirl and Ican sorry that you are having a rough day. The gambling urges and thoughts are bloody awful. The mind games we play saying “just one more time”, but we know it would not be just one more time…. we would walk in a Casino or wherever we gambled, and the high and excitement would be awesome as we started… but how long until we would be chasing our losses. We will never win at gambling and as a compulsive gambler we cant go just one more time. I know I wish I could, but I know it is not an option any more. God knows I have tried it often enough to go just once more.
I know it is tough when you have just gambled to have all the stuff that goes with it, the hangover, the what ifs, the self loathing, the guilt for the money we lost. We all may be different in age, the car we drive, the house we live in, but when it comes to gambling we are all the same once we place the first bet, in my case the slots. Have Faith in yourself that you can stay away from gambling for today!!!!

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(((Sweet Pea))) I have been thinking of you lots and feeling for you as I know that the gambling hangover is just horrible to get through. I don’t want you to think about counting days, just focus on today.
I hope you are sitting have your coffee and reading this and knowing we all care about you. I am so proud of you for coming back and posting as it is not easy after a slip/gambling binge or whatever we call it. You should be proud of yourself that you came back and reached out to your fellow compulsive gamblers. I am glad that you are also reaching out to GA for support. I know that you will get there Sweet Pea as you are the little engine that could and you will continue to work at a gamble free life as you deserve it. Wishing you a gamble free day!!!

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I think it was Peacegirl who asked why we continue to post even when we have gamble free time. It really made me think and for me it makes me accountable. It also made me think of the word “trust” and I know that I don’t trust myself around machines. I know that the urges and thoughts don’t come as often if you have some time since your last bet, but out of the blue they still come. If I was not posting here would I say to heck with it and go and play those machines. I know that I don’t trust myself not to play them, so I continue to post. I know that when I first started recovery and I am not talking about all the times I stopped before I came to GT, when I got to a week. I am talking about when I joined GT and then went on a week’s gambling binge. I slowly worked on it and got to 90 days, and I thought I had it beat LOL I was devastated, how could I have been so stupid to gamble again. I had other milestones along the way and had many Day 1’s. The difference now is I know that I don’t have it beat like I did the first time I got to 90 days. I know that if I put one dollar in a machine it will be the same old story. I feel bad about the amount of money that I wasted. I now have a different perspective of money and now that we are wanting to retire I think, if only I had all that money in our account. I know that it will not magically appear and there is no such thing as a BIG WIN for a compulsive gambler. We all learn from one another and I know that it gave me hope when others who had gamble free time posted. It also helped me when others who had a slip/gambled posted. I don’t know how many times I came and posted after a slip/gambling and I found support and caring here on GT. I know that when I read about anyone who has slipped/gambled I feel for that person and want to support them. We all want to help one another with this horrible addiction and although I may have some gamble free time now, I also know that I am not cured, and just like that it could be me posting that I am on Day 1. I believe that gamble free time means we don’t get the thoughts/urges as often, but we have to still be on guard when they do come, we also know that we are all the same when it comes to placing the next bet. I wish that there was no such thing as a compulsive gambler and addiction to gambling and all I can do is hope and pray that we can all have a gamble free day today!!! It took me a long time to accept that I am powerless with slot machines. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I said this prayer so many times when I started recovery and I continue to use it. I am a compulsive gambler is hard to accept, but I am, no matter how much I want to change it, I have to accept it.

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Liz you are doing amazing and I love the contentment in your posts. I find that when I read your posts there is a serenity in them. I know that there are times when you post that something has happened that has upset you, but you seem to be able to let it go quickly. How lovely to have 4 generations together, that really is special. It sounds as if you made the right move for you when you moved to a smaller community. I am sure that it makes it extra special for your grandson when he visits you. Enjoy your gamble free day Liz!!!!

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I love that quote from FB, and it is sooo true!!!

I hear you about the colon test… YUCK I think for me the clean out medication is worse than the actual test.

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Thanks Vera and Peacegirl for your posts. It is interesting when we read posts from others as we understand and can relate to them so well. I find it interesting as sometimes I just start typing and it amazes me what comes out. It is like my therapy. The same thing would happen when I went to see the counsellor I would just start talking and it was amazing what came out.
I had a great weekend and got lots done around the house. It’s terrible when you judge your weekend on how much stuff you did in the house. It was an absolutely gorgeous day on Saturday, the sun was shining and it was warm. I did my laundry, changed the sheets etc on my bed. I worked on the basement. I got rid of some furniture on Kijji so gave me some space. I felt that I actually achieved something. Now if only I could keep the momentum going. Had a lovely visit on Skype with my grandkids, son, his wife and my son and daughter were also here. It was a good day. Any day not gambling is a good day. I am rambling away, but that’s okay I am allowed to do that. It’s Monday morning and I know that I have a busy week ahead of me at work. It will get a bit easier soon. One day at a time. I do not plan on gambling today!!!

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I did a silly thing yesterday, I played free games on the computer not with money. I don’t know if that counts as gambling or not. It was interesting as the pop-ups that kept coming for free money etc. It made me realize that it is better not to play those slot time games. I believe all it did was make me want the real machine. I do not plan on gambling today. Wishing everyone a wonderful gamble free day!!!

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Sweet Pea I am glad that you are back posting. You have been missed. I did a long post to you yesterday and it’s in cyberspace somewhere as it’s not here. I know it’s not easy to start at Day 1, 2 etc. but it means you are on the right track when you are thinking that way, but don’t think about what day you are on, just think about it one day at a time. I know you will make it P as you are a fighter and are determined, and use that fight and determination for delaying the next bet. It is a strange thing to surrender and admit we are powerless when it comes to gambling. It could be any of us that is back to Day 1 Sweet Pea. I am feeling for you right now as I know the feeling after we have gambled, the gambling hangover, the longing to go back and play just one more time, the self loathing, the thoughts and urges. I have Faith in you Sweet Pea and you will make it. It’s time to reconnect with GA and go see a counsellor and take all the support that you need and can get. You are worth it. Wishing you a gamble free day!!!

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Hi Bettie, I actually enjoy making smoothies made with the blender, and they are healthier for me than ice cream that I love. All I do is take a banana, frozen strawberries and low fat Greek yogurt, blend and it taste so good. If it’s not sweet enough then I add sweetener. I was having that for breakfast in the morning. I can see lots of similarities between food and slots for me as once I start I cant seem to stop. It must be my addictive personality.
Have a great gamble free day!!!!

[cat438]

Welcome to GT and you have started on your recovery journey by coming here. Is there a Gambler’s Anonymous where you live, if so I would suggest that you reach out to them to get support. You should also keep posting here and you will find support from so many. Also read the posts that others have written here as it helps you to realize that you are not alone. There are so many of us who are compulsive gamblers or gambling addicts. You have to take every day as a new day and not think about never gambling again, just take it one day at a time. Keep posting!!!!

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It’s Mother’s Day in North America today, however, I know that Mother’s Day in the UK is in March. Interesting as Father’s Day is the same in UK and North America, but not Mother’s Day. I am sure there are specials in the Casino today to celebrate Mother’s Day. I also know that I do not plan in walking in that Casino and playing machines today!!! Wishing everyone a gamble free day.

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