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Thanks ican, I know how you feel there are ***** we just can’t seem to get things going right for us.  I know that I had a tough time after my gambling spree in February.  I was so depressed and wanted to go gambling, but also when I went gambling in February I did not enjoy it either by the end.  You are just torn in two. Also, I do suffer from depression and some days it is tough to be positive and you just want to say to **** with it.  Why struggle with this I will just gamble, but then the depression is even worse.  Hang in there Ican and you will get there.
I did manage to get through March without gambling, but on March 2 I really had to fight not to go…. I am on day 40 today, however, I know from the past that this is not the main thing, as I have been to over 100 days… the main thing is not placing my next bet.  I know what you mean about getting down in the dumps when you thinkg you can’t gamble again as it really does get to you.  I really try hard not to think about not being able to gamble ever again.  I struggle with it as well.  I think most people do and that is why I really try hard to just think about the one day at a time.  I am starting to understand more and more that the gamble free days are not the important thing.. it’s placing that next bet.  Can I honestly say that I will never end up sitting at those slots again.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that for today I will not gamble.  I feel panicky if I think about not gambling in the future so I try to not think about that and refocus back to today.  I think it’s called living in the NOW.  However, I also know if I go gambling again I will not be happy about it. I found it so tough to get back on track in February that it scared me.  How long will it keep me scared, that I don’t know but I hope it is for a long time.  There I go again thinking ahead… and all I need to do is think about not gambling today.
Do I miss gambling?  YES… I miss the fun and excitement of going to the Casino, escaping and running away from everything.  But I don’t miss…. the person I become when I gamble.. hating myself, the lies, the guilt, the anger, losing money. 
Sorry for rambling.  Wishing everyone a day free of gambling… me too!!!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…

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That is awesome – great job on 5 months gamble free!!!!!!!!!! Yeah.  It is great to read about the success of others as it helps provide incentive that it can be done.  Wishing you and me and everyone a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Vera, I hope that you are okay.  I think we are all so used to you having a new month pact up right away, and also your wonderful words of wisdom to start it off. One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Congratulations to everyone in the March Pact, for those who made it through the month and for those who did gamble I am sure it would have been worse if you had not been here.  Good on all of us for continuing to fight for a life free of gambling. We all have to remember it is one day at a time.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hope you have a great Birthday Bettie
 
 
 
 One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hi Larry,  I am sorry that you are dealing with so much emotional turmoil right now. However, you seem to be handling everything in a positive way. One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Kathryn, Congratulations on being gamble free and what i would say is please always come and post.   You are very welcome to post on my thread any day and tell me how long you have been gamble free.  I believe that it does those of us who are struggling good to see the success of others. It tells us that yes it can be done and we can get there as well.  How long since you last gambled?  It is making me think when I first started I was so determined and I was able to go for 90 days without gambling… then I got over 100 days then gambled again, but for some reason I am not doing so well.  I suppose the "some reason" is me as I am the person who does it.  Sorry, I did not mean to start rambling on your page.  You have earned the right to be proud of yourself and no one should take that away from you.  I know that when I first started when I hear of people who had a long time gamble free it really gave me hope that it could be done.  So come back and give the new people hope and inspiration.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Bettie, you posted this on someones forum and I just thought it was lovely…. thanks as I will ask myself this as I struggle with my thoughts and urges.  I am reading about so many people having urges and thoughts right now… myself included…. so we just have to feed the right wolf.  Wishing you a day free of gambling
Which Wolf Will You Feed?
 

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feedOne day at a time my sweet lord…

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Thanks for the posts… I am having a tough time just now.  I don’t know why but having thoughts of gambling again.  I know that I need to come to GT and keep posting as it does help to keep me on track.  It also helps to read forums of others and see how my friends are doing.  We all have our struggles and I am no different from anyone else.  All I need to do is take it one day at a time.  I will not worry about tomorrow only about today as I know I will not gamble today. Because I recently had the two slips it makes me wonder if that is why I have the urges and thoughts right now.  I wonder if it makes it worse when you give in to your urges and have a slip.  It is kind of crazy as when I think about it I did not even enjoy being the gambling… my stomach was in knots and I felt terrible with guilt… Why would I even consider doing that to myself.  I don’t want to gamble… I don’t need to gamble…. I want to change my thought pattern and think more about how I did not enjoy myself gambling.  How I hated myself for going there and losing money.  What will I do this weekend that does not involved gambling.  I am excited to watch the curling on TV this weekend.  I will get rid of some clutter around the house.  My focus this weekend is to make a list of the things that I need to do around the house.  The things that I let slip when I was spending so much time gambling.  So this weekend I will start on spring cleaning… getting rid of clutter.  Now I have a more positive focus.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hi Carolyn,  we can’t change the past, however, with the support and guidance you receive here you will not feel that you are alone – we all understand the challenges that compulsive gamblers face… I would say to you to continue to come here – go on the chat rooms and most importantly… Take it one day at a timeOne day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hi Geordie, thanks for sharing as it really helps others as they face the challenge of living gamble free.  When I read your post it made me realize that even though you went through all your challenges… you never gave up the fight to stop gambling and to me that is the most important part of your story, as eventually you got there.   I try not to focus on one month, two months or a year from now all I can do it take it one day at a time. Wishing you a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hi (((Pumpkin))) I know what you mean about the ups and downs… and about feeling depressed. It’s tough sometimes to be positive about things, but the struggles are worth the outcome.  You are doing great so chin up, pet the cats and give them a hug from me… Just think your cats love you just the way you are…. in fact when you think of it you are  blessed to have such an adoring fan club who love you.  Thanks for your posts and support.  One day at a time.  One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Happy New Year to everyone.  I know that I need to come to GT to keep myself on track.  Yes I had two slips, but last time it was three so my goal is not to have another one then I achieved something.  I have to think of the positive and be proud of what I have achieved.  June 13 went for 90 days then slipped…over the 8 days had 3 slips.  September 19 went 104 days then had 2 slips – so my goal is to not have another slip.  The funny thing is I felt so guilty for being there and lots of your were in my head when I was there.  I did not really enjoy it, but once you put the first money in those slots – well everything else goes out my head.  Why I ask myself do I sit in front of a machined mesmerised watching for stupid free plays, jackpots etc…. Just for today I will not gamble.  Wishing everyone a day free of gambling.,One day at a time my sweet lord…

[cat438]

Hi ((((Pumpkin)))) Thanks for the post it was wonderful to come and read it.  I was at the stage I was not writing much as I felt such a failure!!! I ended up back again, but it’s like I have my focus back and I am facing my demons.  It is wonderful to see that you are doing so great and to see your uplifting posts. It’s funny how sometimes we need time to lick our wonds before we can get back on track.  I am finding that I am more" hopeful" again- that’s so funny as it made me think of Hope and both of you were such a big part of my recovery at the very beginning.  Happy New Year. Take Care.  Wishing you a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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Hi (((Hope))) Happy New Year and thanks for the post… I am back on the recovery wagaon again so I needed to get my head back – if you know what I mean.  I am so glad to see that you are doing well now and taking it one day at a time.  I think that we just have to continue on our journey of recovery and take it one day at a time.  Wishing you a day free of gambling.One day at a time my sweet lord…

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