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RG the ODAAT really does make a difference to me and gambling. I find if I don’t think about never gambling again, but just focus on today it makes it more achievable. If I start to focus on the future it seems to stress me out so I keep going back to.. just for today. I have a tendency to focus on everything that needs done around the house and then get totally overwhelmed and then do nothing. I started doing a 30 minute block around the house. I set the timer and said okay for 30 minutes I will work on clearing stuff out and it was amazing as once I got started and the buzzer would go off I would set it for another 30 minutes. I was doing quite well with that, but I need to start again.
I did not gamble yesterday and do not plan on gambling today!!! Wishing everyone a wonderful gamble free day.

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Hi Bettie WTG on your date that slipped past quietly. I find it interesting as I am getting close to a year and I find myself not feeling elated, but fearful. I think it may be because I have been at 8 months before and blew it and now it is a new milestone. I am questioning am I in recovery or just abstaining. I know that you posted something about this in the past. Do you have a copy of it. I wonder if I am setting myself up to fail again!!!!
Enough about me, I hope that things work out okay for you at work with your new boss. It is good that you are standing up for yourself, but give your new boss a chance. Don’t take your anger at your old boss out on your new boss. Keep thinking positive thoughts and it will get better!!!
I would have loved to have come and spent time with you and Debbie. I think you two “young” things would have lead me astray though LOL I think of all the stores and bargains that I would have been able to get with you shopping. Wishing you and your cats a wonderful gamble free day!!!!

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I think there is a movie “the never ending story” and when I think of it for the compulsive gambler it is “the never ending recovery journey”. It is the way it has to be for me as I know if I don’t do it this way then I will have a life full of turmoil. I know that some people say they do not fear gambling again as they have accepted they can’t gamble. I know that I am a compulsive gambler and so I can’t play those machines again yet I still have fear that I do. I know that I have changed since I started recovery, but I still have a long way to go. I think my fear is that it is like being on a diet and then you stop and you eat everything in site. I need to post on Bettie’s page and ask her about the difference between abstinence and recovery. I need to have Faith in myself on this journey, but the fear is there. I will continue to work on myself and recovery ODAAT. I have to remember that I will never be cured of this addiction, therefore, it is a continual journey. It is good for me to write about my fears as it tells me that I am not focusing on today. All I can do is take it one day at a time. It shows me that when I start thinking ahead that is when the panic sets in. I know that for today I do not plan on gambling. Sorry for the rambling!!!

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RG so glad that you are with me on this journey. I thought of Pumpkin when I saw your comment about the Cheshire Cat Grin and I wonder how she is doing. I also notice that P has not been posting again, and Sherry has not posted for a while. I know that I can’t control how everyone is doing, but I pray that they find their way back. I did not gamble over the weekend and do not plan on gambling today. Wishing everyone a gamble free day!!!

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I did not gamble yesterday and do not plan on gambling today!!!

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RG – hold on as tight as you can. You know it will get easier and you are worth it. Remember only focus on today or 30 minutes, 5 minutes whatever it takes. I know it is hard once our mind goes there. Can you get your mind lost in something else to distract you to get through it.

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Hi Liz – I am sorry that you have another cold. I hope it does not get as bad as your last one. It is wonderful to see how you are getting stronger in dealing with the loss of your husband. I know that you are still grieving and that you have good days and bad days, but you are moving forward to have a new life. I hope that you get the Condo situation sorted out soon as that would be something else resolved. I would imagine that the weather may not be quite so hot in Northern Arizona!!! I am sure that you will be able to help your daughter out with her retail business as well and it would be a new beginning for both of you. Your Grandson will be with you as well so it would be perfect. It is nice to have a plan for the future. Take care of yourself and be sure to go to the Dr. on Monday.

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One of my friend’s mothers had Alzheimer’s disease and I can remember the turmoil that she went through. She said it felt like your had your Mum, but yet you did not have her as she did not recognize her. I believe it is a heartbreaking disease for the loved ones of the person who has Alzheimer’s. The families whose loved ones are also going through this will understand and hopefully there is a support group or something to help. Grab all the support you can to help you through this.

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Charles I am glad that I read this. I find that even though I accept that I am a compulsive gambler, I cannot gamble normally, I cannot place that next bet, but I do still have FEAR as special dates come round.

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Hi Debbie I don’t know why, but I believe that you have a special Anniversary date in October. I wonder if that is happening when you are on your Thelma and Louise Trip. I just wanted to let you know that it stuck with me for some reason!!!

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It is a journey and we continue to fight for a gamble free life. There are ups and downs on this journey, but if it was easy we would not need to have support. R2C my Mum who passed away much too young and has been gone for over 20 years had a saying and I am sure that you have heard it… “anything worth having is worth working for” I keep going back to those words for myself!!! We have to keep working recovery one day at a time!!!!

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I am so excited to see others posting on this page. I truly believe the support of others in this journey is important.
I am so excited to see RG posting. I replied to your post above RG!!!

R2C that is awesome that you got through September!!! Focus on the positive R2C and it took me a while to accept that I could not change the past. I read a saying somewhere and it still comes to me quite often… “don’t look back, you are not going that way”

Larry, you always bring me a sense of peace with your posts and I thank you for that.

Ican how exciting about your son’s wedding. That is a wonderful focus for the month of October.

I am praying that everyone on GT has a gamble free day today!!!

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I AM SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOR YOU RG!!!! ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!

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I find that as I get closer to a milestone with gamble free time that I get nervous and scared that I am going to blow it. I get anxious as I get closer to a date and afraid that like so many other times I will end up gambling again. I try not to focus on gamble free time, but more about not placing the first dollar in those machines. I know that once the day is here it is just another day to work at one day at a time. I also know that just like that I can be back to Day 1, as I have been there many times. I know that I do have fear that I will gamble and have to fight to get back in recovery. The thought of that terrifies me as I know how hard it is to get back on the right track when the addiction takes hold again. Not that it is gone as it is always there, and out of nowhere it tests me as those thoughts come up about going just once, just for an hour… or maybe I would be okay now. I know that those machines are not my friend as I once thought they were. They are my enemy and I must stay away from them. I know they want me back, but I know it is a friendship that I cant go back to. I have to remember what they did to me and the pain they caused me. Oh how I hated myself when I had lost all my money. The chasing of “my money” that they stole from me, but alas they did not steal it from me. It was me that kept feeding the machine throwing away money that I needed for other things. The running from the machine to the ATM and feeding it again and again, because it was due to pay out. I rubbed the glass of the machine, I prayed, I just wanted my money back and the relief I felt when I had a win and got my money back, and of course I lost it all again. I will continue on my recovery journey taking it one day at a time. I want to thank all the wonderful people on GT who have helped me in this journey. I know that I can’t do this alone and that is why I will continue to post and support others when I can.

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(((Lizbeth))) I was just checking to see how you are and why you have not posted, but I am relieved to see it is because you are away with your Mother on a trip to see your Aunt. I look forward to reading your post when you return. I hope that you are having a nice visit with your Aunt!!! Have a great day.

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