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I was so glad to see your post P and that you are doing okay, well as okay as any of us with our compulsive gambling can do LOL Our life seems to always have ups and downs and stresses to deal with. I dream of a serene life, but I think the only way I could get that is if I was to join some group that meditates all the time and does nothing else. I know that I am working on trying to meditate more, but I am not very good at sitting quietly and letting my mind relax. I keep trying though as when I can manage to get there it does help calm me down. You are doing great and doing what we are all doing, taking it one day at a time!!!!

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Day 5 of November, but does it really matter what day it is in November, as all we have to focus on is today. Wishing everyone a wonderful gamble free day!!!!

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r2c, it is so true that no matter how long we have gamble free we can’t get complacent. As a compulsive gambler I know that if I put one dollar/euro or whatever in a machine then it is back to the road of self destruction. No matter how much gamble free time we have we are all the same when it comes to placing our next bet. I know for me it means a lot when people have the courage to say they gambled after having some gamble free time, as it shows that none of us are safe from this addiction, no matter how long we have gamble free.
WTG on your gamble free time. We have to continue on our recovery taking it one day at a time!!! Have a wonderful gamble free day!!!

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WTG on looking after yourself Carole. I read your post and learned so much. I am like Vera and would probably have said yes to the double shift, even if it was not what I wanted. I realize by reading your post that it is okay for us to say no and put our self care as a priority. It is wonderful that you are feeling good about yourself and wearing make-up. It is amazing how when we put our make-up on we feel better about ourselves. I wear it all the time when I go to work and if I am going out in the evening. I don’t when I am running around doing errands at the weekend. It is amazing how everything is coming together for you. One day at a time is all any of us can do. Have a great day!!!!

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I am a bit concerned as I have not seen you posting for a few days. I don’t always answer your posts, but I am always reading them and watching to make sure you are okay. I hope and pray that you are okay. Please post and let us know how your are.

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so sorry that you are having health problems Bettie. I hope that you get the physical therapy thing sorted out as all the stress is not good for you either. I am sorry to hear about your brother being laid off as I am sure he is stressed out about it. I don’t know it just sometimes feels like one thing after an other. It is difficult not to worry about things and let them go, but worrying does not solve the problems. I am saying this for my benefit as much as yours Bettie. I have been feeling a bit lazy lately, not motivated to do things. It comes and goes and the sun is shining today and that always helps.
Your team is playing our team today!!!! I am going to watch the game on TV. It would be so much fun to watch it together!!!
Chin up and smile, and the whole world smiles with you…. I don’t know where that came from.. Take care and look after yourself Bettie!!!

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I am smiling with all your wonderful encouragement and kind words. They do make a difference when we are battling this addiction.
Harry I had a big grin when I saw your comment about being complacent and testing myself. I think in the last two and a half years I have possibly got a bit complacent, and also tested myself with those machines. It was interesting as every time I tested myself the results were the same. I was back to gambling. I don’t trust myself around slots/vlts so I try to avoid being where they are as much as possible, but it is getting harder to do that as they are everywhere. I have a fear of putting a dollar in them and being back on the road of destruction. I hope and pray that this feeling stays as it keeps me away. I am still a work in progress and I know I will never be cured from this addiction. I have a long way to go and I know that even if I had 2, 3 , 4, 5 or 20 years not playing those machines that I can’t get complacent or test myself as the results would be the same. I am a compulsive gamble with those slots/vlts and that will never change. I know that I need to work on how I deal with things and I hope and pray that I have the courage and strength to do this!!!

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I do not plan on gambling today!!! I will take it one day at a time.

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We call them different names, but to me they all mean the same. I know for me I have been through a number of relapses in my recovery journey. I would go for a week or two before I joined GT and then I would be back full swing gambling. I know now that I was lying to myself when I thought I could control it. I did not want to give up my friend. The thought of never gambling again would cause me to panic. Now, I don’t think about never playing those machines again, all I think about is today. I know that for today I will not gamble. I did not realize how important it was to just focus on today. I know that I am a work in progress who is working recovery. I still have lots of work to do on myself, but I am learning so much about myself on this journey. All I would suggest to anyone is to put barriers in place so that you have no access to cash/money. If we don’t have money we can’t gamble. I also found counseling helped me tremendously. Also the GT helpline saved me and Harry challenged me so many times, and the chat room, and topic room with Charles. I also find that posting on GT and reading other’s post help. The support of others on GT who understand is also very important. It does not matter how much gamble free time we have, as a compulsive gambler we can’t get complacent. I know at first I kept wanting to go back and win some of the money that I had lost. It took me a long time to accept that it is not my money any longer, it is gone and I gambled it away!!!! We are all the same when it comes to placing our next bet!!! You can do it!!!

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Laura thank you for the post. It is true that there are lots of underlying problems that contribute to gambling. I am learning so much about myself since I started recovery!!! I know that there is so much that I am needing to work on and it is going to be a continual life of recovery. I will get there if I take it one day at a time!!!

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The last time I played slots/vlts was Nov. 1, 2012 and I know that I am not going out tonight to play them, so that is one year that I have not played them. Has it been easy, no it has been so hard at times, and yes there were times that I wanted so bad to run away and escape to oblivion. I was out running around today doing errands and I ended up drawing cash from the ATM that I would go to close to the Casino, and I also ended up driving past the Casino. When I was drawing the money from the ATM the thoughts that came to mind were how I would be in such a rush to get to the Casino, the excitement, anticipation of getting in to play machines. I then thought about all the money I had wasted, and the way I felt about myself after I had lost too much money. The self loathing, guilt, fear of the addiction and not being able to stop. I thank God (Higher Power to others) that I have been able to stay away from those machines. I also understand so well how easy it is to end up back playing those machines. I do know that I can’t play those slots/vlts as I am powerless and not able to stop once I start. I know that it is one day at a time that I have to continue on my recovery. I hope and pray that I can continue to stay away from those machines, but I know that I cant get complacent as all it takes is putting one dollar in a machine and then I am powerless. Wishing everyone a wonderful gamble free day!!!

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((((Carole)))) so excited for you and your new job. It is wonderful that you are working part-time as I agree with what you say that it is a great way to ease in to full-time, if that is the way you want to go!!!! I think it is wonderful that you are getting exercise at work by walking. It’s like all things are lining up for you!!!

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I did it one day at a time:):)

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I did not gamble for the 30 days of October and do not plan on gambling today. It amazes me how fast the month has gone. Have a wonderful gamble free day everyone!!!!

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I am glad to see that you are doing things that you want to do, and looking after yourself and your needs. It sounds as if you are working on rediscovering yourself. I hope you enjoyed the comedy show. Have you had any luck in your job search? I just wanted to make sure that you are okay as I get concerned when you have not posted for a few days. Take care and have a great gamble free day!!!

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