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Laura, so sorry that you were having a tough time with your partner. Life can be so challenging at times, and it is at those times that I want to just run away. I suppose that is where the gambling came in, it was my way of running away. Thanks for posting that link of P’s site about withdrawal etc. I am thinking of buying the book, but I just read some of the information about the withdrawal symptoms lasting two years. I think sometimes we expect so much of ourselves and if we are not gambling then we should be fine, but it is not the case. I really do think now, that I wish I knew then, what I know now, as I should have been respecting myself so much more and setting boundaries. I cant go back though so all I can do is keep working on myself.
I am also working on our basement and purging. On top of that we are renovating the basement so it is non stop, but I really wish I could be more motivated with it. I find that I get into “funks” as I call them and it is difficult to be upbeat.
Thanks for all your support Laura it really helps. You look after yourself and be kind to yourself as you deserve it!!!

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Sweet Pea, sorry that I have not posted for a while to support you, but you know how it is we go through “funk” stages where we just have to get through the day!!! I am so impressed with you and how great you are doing. Your posts are showing your struggles with those urges, but you are hanging in there. I don’t know if it is a good reason or not, but the fear of not being able to stop once I put the first dollar in a machine kept me away for a while. As Bettie says the longer we can get away from our last bet then the urges get smaller. Enjoy your morning coffee and have a wonderful day!!!!

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I hope and pray that 2014 is a better year for you. I read one of your posts about loving your husband and I can relate to it. I do love my husband, however, I sometimes think that his drinking has caused me also to be resentful towards him. I believe that you said it perfectly that you said that when any of us leaves this world it would be wonderful to have someone who cares holding our hand. Liz you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I love reading your posts about all the things you are considering getting involved in at your new place. One day at a time (((Liz)))

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I hope that you are feeling better as you really have been having a tough time with that cold/flu. I understand totally what you are saying about Downton Abbey. I bought Series 1 and 2 on DVD in the States as they were a really good buy. I started to watch them and I was totally hooked. I had to rush out and buy season 3 as soon as I was finished season 2. I am super excited about seeing Season 4 on Sunday evening.
I have not been posting as much lately as I seem to be busy since we got back from Christmas out east. I suppose being back to work and trying to do catch up with everything. I have learned so much since I started recovery and I am noticing that my “inner peace” is so important to me. I know that I am a continual work in progress, but I am worth working on. I just need to be patient with myself and keep going and taking it day by day. I admire your strength (((Carole))) as what you have done takes courage, now don’t take offense when I say this, but at your age to move out on your own is just remarkable. I don’t know if I would have your strength or courage to do that, although I am 3 years older than you LOL
Thanks for your continued and encouraging support (((Carole)))

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I join you on that greeting for everyone!!!

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Carole, Liz, P, Ican and Laura for your wonderful and encouraging posts. I had such a great time with my Grandkids and met my new Granddaughter who is adorable. I feel so blessed to have been given these three grandchildren to love. I know that I miss so much of the fun stuff as we don’t live close to them. I do so treasure the time we do get to spend with them. Christmas was as it should be with two boys 3 and 6 totally wonderful. I find for me I get so much joy watching them as they open their presents. We were able to go and watch the 3 year olds at his skating lesson which is a real treat for us. We also got to watch our 6 year old play hockey which was awesome. It is so much fun to be able to be involved in their activities. I love the excitement and joy that children bring to our life. I loved holding our 2 month old granddaughter in my arms. I really needed the break and although the kids are active it was a truly relaxing break and just what I needed. We had a couple of days we were snowed in and it was just fantastic to be able to relax and spend time with our grandkids, our son and daughter-in-law.
My spirit feels renewed and I feel so much more relaxed than I did a few weeks ago. It is always tough when we have to leave them and come home. I know when we retire we will be able to spend a month or two with them. I went back to work today, but I felt so much more relaxed and happy. I know that I need to get started working on our house again, but I will take it one day at a time and I will get there. I know that if I change my attitude and take it one day at a time I will get the decluttering of the basement done. Hubby has a really bad flu just now. He has gone from not being able to get warm to being too hot and he is aching all over. I feel bad for him. I have a work function to go to tomorrow evening and he was going with me, but I am not going to press him and will just go by myself if I have to. It is no fun to go out when you are feeling so bad. Also the weather here is absolutely freezing right now. It is the coldest December we have had for a century. I hope that January is not like this. All you do is rush from your house to the garage to get in your car, drive to where you are going and rush in to the shop or building you are going to. I wonder why we moved to a climate like this. I think as I have got older it bothers me more. It’s strange how as you get older everything seems to bother you more LOL
I have been trying to read and catch up on your pages, but I thought I would do an update on my page as I have not posted for a while, and I don’t have time to catch up on everyone’s page right now. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a Health and Prosperous New Year!!!!

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I have not gambled in the 30 days of December and I will focus on tomorrow when it comes. I take it day by day as for me it seems the only way to go!!!

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You really are having a rough time just now. I can relate to feeling tired and not having energy to do anything. I am the world’s best procrastinator. I don’t know if it is because I am tired that I am putting things off or if I am just getting better at procrastinating. I then have to rush around ? It really ticks me off when they are doing that to save money.
I have decided in January that I am starting a healthy kick again. I wonder how many New Years I have started that way. I am going to do it as a one day at a time thing. I know that if I try to do it perfect then I am setting myself up to fail. I am sorry I am not doing anything to lift your spirits…
On a positive not I am excited about seeing my Grandkids on Tuesday, and that brings a smile to my face and warms my heart. Take Care (((Bettie)))

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Hi P, it is so true we have days that we have “strong thoughts” and I really think for me that is what turns to urges. I know that it is challenging to get rid of the thoughts when they are strong as they keep coming back to torment us. I remember I always thought of it as an Angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other shoulder fighting with each other about gambling!!! It was not always easy to hear the guiding Angel, but listen long enough and you will hear her Sweet Pea!!! You are worth so much more than gambling. You are a fighter and you never give up. I think it is harder when we gamble as those thoughts get stronger and stronger then. You keep fighting those thoughts Sweet Pea and you will feel so much stronger. Don’t worry about tomorrow and if you have to break today up into hours, minutes or seconds then do what you got to do to get yourself through it. Pamper yourself instead by having a nice bubble bath, a flavoured coffee, go to a movie, a pedicure something nice just for you!!! Your deserve it.

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If we take it a day at a time it does not seem so overwhelming, but if we think about a week, two weeks, a month from now it is just too much. I don’t think about never gambling again I just think about today. I do have times when thoughts come from nowhere especially when I am stressed, but starting to recognize more and more when I have to be more diligent as just like that everything can change. I know that I will not gamble today. I will not worry about tomorrow.

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I am so proud of you for staying away from those machines. I am so glad that you are posting as we all benefit from it P. I read your post about the feeling of sadness and wanting to cry, and honestly I could have written that post at times, and still do feel that way at times. Also your post about after you have lots of thoughts that is when the urges come and you can end up gambling. It really made me think as I have been having lots of thoughts and it makes me realize that we have to be so careful with our thoughts!!! I find that when I get the thoughts I try to change it to just for today I will not gamble. I find once I get that thought in my head it helps to get my mind a bit clearer!!! So proud of you!!!!

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Sweet Pea I am so glad that you are posting here. It is so true when we write things down here it sometimes helps us discover what is bothering us. I know that I post about things that are bothering me, although I don’t really say what is bothering me, but it seems to help me so much. There is a saying that you are only a failure if you never try. We are all here trying to stay away from gambling. We may get knocked back now and again, but as long as we keep trying we are never a failure. I don’t know if that is coming out exactly how I mean it, but I mean we all have to never ever give up the fight!!! Although some days it is difficult to fight the urges and thoughts we have to keep trying. Have a wonderful day!!!!

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Liz it is interesting how you post about things that are not working out as planned for your daughter and Grandson, but dealing with it in a positive way. I learn so much from reading your posts. I am so glad that you are happy in your home. It sounds as if the move was the best thing that you could have done for yourself. You sound as if you are enjoying life and taking things as they come, for example just going to the estate sale and getting yourself something. You are doing things you want to do and enjoying life. I know that you are still grieving, but you are handling things so well. Have a wonderful day!!!

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I realize more and more how important these 5 words are. If I focus on today then I know that I will be okay. I did not gamble today.

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Sorry that you are not feeling well and I hope that you get better soon. Good for you for standing up for yourself and letting Danny know that you are not accepting his behaviour towards you. It is true if you have funds in your own account then it is your own business and responsibility on how you budget/spend it. I hope and pray that you find a job that works out well for you and then it will give your more independence from Danny.
It is wonderful to read your post and see how you are not going to let the stress cause negative behaviours today. You have come such a long way (((Carole))) I am so proud of you for eating healthy and losing weight, as I know that is not an easy thing to do.
One day at a time is the best way to go for everything!!!!

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