[C_Noel]

Hello Lizbeth, your story is very encouraging. Keep up the strength and determination in which I have read about in your posts. If you’ve made it this far, I’m sure you can continue on this gamble free path that we all strive to take!

[C_Noel]

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. Even though I have a mere $12 to my name, I am feeling better about the future. I am still taking one day at a time because life seems tough right now, trying to dig myself out of a 6+ year hole I have dug for myself. If I hadn’t come forward with everything, I feel that I would have continued to dig my own grave. Now, I am slowly trying to fill that hole until I can plant a new seed and watch it develop into something beautiful, a beautiful new life.

[C_Noel]

Wow, the weekend went by so quickly! I was occupied with softball and spending time watching football with friends and family not to mention gamble free. I have not had the urge or thought to gamble, reason being, I have a lot more accountability and the barriers are in tact. I know it’s only been a few days but I feel like I am on the right track and this track feels strong and steady. Hoping everyone is doing well!

[C_Noel]

I woke up this morning with my mind more at ease and my heart and head not as heavy. I have told my family, best friend and boyfriend about my addiction and they are all very willing to support my recovery. Today is going to be a great day. I have a softball tournament! This is one of the things that brings me joy. Physical activities, sports, and fitness. I’m also going to begin crafting with my sister once a week as we meet to discuss my financials. So long for now, I must prepare for the tournament. 🙂

[C_Noel]

Thank you for your comments, Bettie. It is very helpful to be surrounded by people who know and experience what I am going through. It is especially wonderful to communicate with someone who has recovered.

I believe that I may have just put that as my timezone? I would still like to find out how close we are in location. I shall try to get your email! Thanks!

[C_Noel]

Thank you, Charles for your insight. Your words are very helpful.

I came clean to my parents and my sister with whom I am very close. I handed over my debit card to my mom and am giving my sister access to my bank accounts and she is willing to handle my financials. My Mom showed nothing but support and encouragement and wants this recovery for me as much as I do. I should have done this sooner.

I am going to attend GA as soon as possible. I do not feel hesitant whatsoever now. A huge burden has been lifted now that I have discussed with my Mom and sister.

Taking one day at a time and realizing there is a life free from gambling. I have so many goals, but for now, I focus on today.

[C_Noel]

Thank you sad! We can overcome this obstacle. I’m glad to hear from you since it has been a few days since chatting. Let’s get through this phase in our lives and live a brighter and happier life. We all deserve it.

[C_Noel]

Today WAS payday but I stupidly gave into my addiction last night while bored at my home. Paid at midnight, gone by morning. What a stupid and dumb thing to do. 2 hours of sleep, on a small break from my piles of paperwork at my job. Today I come clean to my parents. I’ll write again once I take that step and utilize the barriers to prevent this from happening again. Feeling like I am a worst case scenario and who could possibly have an addiction as bad as mine? I’ve let you all down and all the advice and support you have given me, I feel I took it for granted.

Until next time.

[C_Noel]

4:30am. Back from a binge. Please, please let it be my last. This is the hardest I have fallen. All money is gone. All of it. Even worse, I have lost hope. Why do I let this compulsion control me? I knew the outcome before I even got into my car and drove 20 minutes to the casino. The whole way there I kept trying to talk myself out of it but yet I kept driving. My problem is way worse than I have come to terms with. I am so terribly disappointed in myself. It’s self-destructive behavior. I need barriers. Tomorrow. Set them. Open up to my mom and dad and hand over all my financial access and take them with me to set bans at the local casinos. I want a better life.

[C_Noel]

Hi Vera – Yes, I remember meeting you in chat. It was so nice to meet with you, p, and sad68. That chat group made me feel comfortable discussing my problem.

Changing my mindset is definitely a key component. How can we be so strong in certain aspects of our life but then be so weak when it hurts us the most? The mind is so complex yet so powerful.

Thanks again and so good to hear from you!

[C_Noel]

Hi Bettie,

Your story is truly inspiring. You have shown strength and courage throughout your recovery. I just hope to be as strong and successful as you have shown! Just coming to GT and admitting my addiction to this group has already lifted a small burden in my life. I’m still struggling with urges and the thoughts of “just 100”, but it’s never just that, it’s ALL of it until it’s gone and then the feeling of depression is overwhelming. Congratulations on all you have accomplished! That is awesome.

[C_Noel]

Along with intentions of attending GA last night, I was able to open up to my best friend about my gambling problem. She is very supportive and is willing to go with me to some of the meetings. I feel so much better now that she knows an does not place any judgement against me.

[C_Noel]

Well last night, I went to the location in which they said the GA meetings are held. It turns out that the day and location is different now. I was in the building with full intentions of attending the meeting but now I will have to wait until a Saturday evening at 6pm. This Saturday i have plans with friends and will be unable to attend but plan to attend sometime this month.

[C_Noel]

Tonight is the local ga meeting. I know I should go but I hesitate. Would it be wrong to try recovery without it? Is it possible? I just feel ashamed to attend the meeting but I want so badly to be free from compulsive gambling.

[C_Noel]

Such a familiar storyline perhaps because it is relative to mine. I’ve just recently found this site and have begun my journey to a gamble-free life as well. Being so young and realizing that it is now time to turn the tables is great! It sounds like you’ve taken a great step. I wish you the best in recovery.

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