[C_Noel]

Thank you for sharing with me. I do believe that God is to whom I need to turn. My willpower to stop is so weak right now. It’s strange how I can be so strong in other areas of my life but with this addiction, it is like it keeps pushing me down. My family has helped before with my financial issues but now they see that perhaps they have enabled me in some way. I’m having a tough time concentrating at work and my focus is fading because I can only think about my money issues. I will take control.

[C_Noel]

I’m serious this time. I’ve got to do something more than the same old sayings over and over again of, I will do this and I am going to do that but never taking action. I’m in such a hole, a mess. I’ve ruined my credit over gambling and I’ve lost a job promotion due to my credit issues. I can say that most of the issues with my credit spawned from my ex-husband and then the other portions, gambling. I hate this feeling like I cannot control myself from spending money in hopes that I can hit it big and pay off my debts. I’ve done barriers in the past few months only to realize that I work ways around them and I am back to square one. Does anyone else ever feel this hopeless and have such bad urges that you know you should cope and stop but you gamble anyways? I want to recover so badly.

[C_Noel]

Hello lizbeth, it sounds like you are keeping quite busy. I remember reading your posts several months ago. I’m sorry to hear you are sick but are doing well with keeping busy and moving in a positive direction. I admire that you are recovering so well. How were you able to move forward and away from your addiction? I feel like it will keep control over me for the rest of my life.

[C_Noel]

Hi Jansdad, I hope you have the will to resist any urges. Filling your time with enjoyable activities can really help to keep your mind off thoughts of gambling. 51 days is awesome! I can only hope to make it that far as well. Each day is a new beginning and an accomplishment once we resist our addiction.

[C_Noel]

Monday at the office, on lunch break and I can’t help but think about my CG and the stress it has been causing me. I wake up and all I can think about are my financial burdens and why do I do this to myself? It’s a path of self-destruction. If I know this, then why do I continue to act upon it?!? It’s so frustrating. Do other CG’s feel this way too? I worry that the only reason I will not be gambling these next two weeks is because I have no funds. My debit/atm card is now in the hands of my father even though there is no money to gamble away. This will be the last relapse! I must promise myself. 3 days gamble free. No money, no urges I suppose!

[C_Noel]

Yes! Thank you got coming back to post. I am back and should have never left. I thought I could take control and be a “smart gambler” and just cut back. I’ll check into the book. I hope you are doing well!

[C_Noel]

It is so strange how the addiction can creep up and it’s almost as if I can’t say no. That’s what is scary. How do we allow such a destructive pattern take control? It sucks.

[C_Noel]

Yes, nothing but heartache is correct. I’ve got to get back up and make a change. Thanks for the encouraging words!

[C_Noel]

How awesome that you have so many great things planned. It sounds like you are quite busy. We have all these wonderful opportunities when we are gamble free but it just takes so long to realize it I suppose and come to our senses.

[C_Noel]

Thank you, Vera! Payday has gone well, my bills have been paid and I was able to even buy a drink for family and friends. What a good feeling. I do have thoughts of gambling and how it has made my life so very stressful and very hard. I’ve had dreams of winning these huge jackpots, its so strange but when I wake up, I don’t have the urge to gamble because I know the outcome and the self-banning has helped tremendously! Knowing I don’t have the capability to walk into those casinos and go directly to the slot machine as I once did so often is such a relief. I’m still surrounding myself with people as often as possible for it really helps to not be alone. That was always a big trigger – sitting at home alone and feeling sorry for myself. Now, I am trying to look at each day as an accomplishment. It will be 20 days since I have last gambled…the 25th, my birthday and I can celebrate being 20 days free from it. I still have a long ways to go but I am determined to make a solid recovery.

[C_Noel]

Tomorrow is payday. It’s been 13 days since that terrible night of binge gambling. I must admit that I am very excited to know I will be able to pay my bills on time and show my family and friends that I am on a good path. These barriers I have set give me hope. My sister monitors my bank account and she is helping to control my finances. We have a plan and I am determined to make it work.

I have yet to attend GA but I still plan to do so. Meetings are held on Saturday evenings at 6pm and I have found that I always have other plans, for example, I have been attending fundraisers and benefit dinners and also softball. I do find that involving myself in many activities and planning my schedule ahead of time, truly gives me freedom from wanting to gamble.

Although my journey has just started, I have high hopes to never go back to that dark place of feeding the addiction. I know it’s always lurking but the negative effects are not worth it!

[C_Noel]

Your post really caught my eye, perhaps because it sounds so similar to mine. This month I turn 29 and I feel like I have nothing to show either but a gambling addiction, debt, and credit that will get me nowhere. I recently self-banned from the two local casinos where I’ve gambled. I feel much better and even though it’s been just 10 days since gambling. I know I have prevented myself from spending another dime there. Everyone here in GT has been so helpful and continue to support us. Stay connected here, I truly think it helps in the early stages of starting a gamble-free life!

[C_Noel]

Just got home from placing self-bans at the local casinos. How do I feel? Embarrassed, relieved, angry at myself for letting it get this far. I feel like a loser for having to do something this extreme. Do I seriously not have enough self-control? It’s funny how I saw so many people I know, who work at the casino and now they all know I have a problem that I couldn’t control on my own. These are people I have associated with, outside of the casino on a normal social basis. I know, this is a step in the right direction. My barriers have been set.

[C_Noel]

What a great accomplishment! I’m very new to this site and the path of recovery so it is great to hear about such successes as yours.

[C_Noel]

It’s great to have the support of everyone here in the forum. The encouraging words are very kind and thoughtful. Tomorrow I take the next step of self-banning myself from the local casinos. My sister will be driving and going along with me of course. After that, maybe a nice cocktail and some dinner. I’m actually looking forward to taking this step. Tomorrow will be 7 days of no gambling and about 2 weeks since joining here. We can do this everyone!

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