[C-Louise]

Hey I haven’t been on this for a while in a way was hoping I wouldn’t need to but things are just so much worse than before it’s getting to me a lot, he never went through getting help also debt is starting to build its just non stop it’s completely out of control even to the point even stealing again even from people he never has before I just don’t know what to do anymore 🙁 xx

[C-Louise]

Hello

No I don’t take it as a criticism, it’s fine I suppose it’s different for everyone to a degree on circumstances and how things are, I do normally support him a lot to be honest the I’ve been the only one who has, as most of his family ‘disowned’ him Due to this. Just the past few weeks due to other stresses this really knocked me back a ten ton and holding my family together I hit a breaking point quite a bad one.
It’s been going on for years he had counselling before which sort of helped then he stopped going, he tried on his own to fix his addiction which it’s obvious that he does need outside professional help which is what we are heading to next.

Thing is the expectations it’s something I don’t want to let go of as it loses my hope maybe one day things will be ‘normal’ I’ve learnt not to pressure him about money and payments etc but I do involve him in discussions about money or bills or anything it seems to help him feel needed and important.
I think this is one of the hardest processes I’ve ever had to go through as of yet because I love him so much and he’s so important to me and I’m so angry with him a lot even when I hide the anger from him, I just wish his gp would listen to him more and understand he needs help professionally not to be told to cut down smoking n budget I think it’s like a kick in the teeth for someone who is CG just hope his next appointment goes better than his last one
Thanks for your reply
Louise x

[C-Louise]

Hello, thanks for the reply
Yeah they ain’t very supportive just single minded in a lot of things to be honest, this weekend went completely pear shaped he actually took an overdoes which scared the life out of me and our son which he really didn’t need to deal with all that.
My son has Asperger’s syndrome so he has it hard as it is and it just wasn’t good, thankfully at this moment both are now fine, my partner is acting like all is well but I’m so angry and hurt but if I say how I feel he gets really defensive it’s just a total mess.
He was seen by his gp who told him you need blood test and to see the physc nurse I can’t referre you go to a&e, so we went there and was basically told nothing they can do its not for them to referre all they can do is check he is physically ok with blood tests, which thankfully he was fine. Originally back in September he went for help and was told cut down smoking and budget no referral which seems to have happened again.
He wants help but trying to find it feels impossible but I will try the things you have mentioned it sounds like a good thing to start with.
I love him to pieces but I can’t be honest with him at the moment as he just blows up and it turns it into a row, his mother is forever bailing him out which is enabling this even more she just won’t listen then I get all this thrown at me asking about repayment that I personally never borrowed it’s just a joke round in circles.
Yeah my son he would be just happy about that he’s a very loving child he has his problems which are hard enough dealing with out his fathers problems it’s tough, but yes birthdays or big bills any exspences seems to be a big trigger but then sometimes we are fine nothing’s happening and he will just blow it all again, he goes a few weeks no gambling then blows it then back to not doing it and acting like things are fine that same day I can’t just be ok with that I try to but it’s not fine.
Finding this website has really helped there’s so many people who understand which outside I don’t have its a big eye opener and it’s nice having the support, I’ve been looking at the f&f groups really wanted to pop in I’m usually at work in the evenings but I’m off this week I will try to come on.

Thanks for the reply speak soon
Louise x

[C-Louise]

Yeah I should and it’s like months and he’s great Then the trust slowly comes back and outta the blue he does it all again like today he’s dissapeared again it’s our sons birthday Tuesday and our rent is due Tuesday all I have is the rent money nothing else no food shopping money nothing I wish I could find something to reduce the stress but it’s been going on almost 6 years, around 5 years ago we lost our home everything I had to move back in with family which was a nightmare I was taken advantage by my family I had to do basically what I was told so leaving there was needed and since February I agreed to move back in together I think it’s the biggest mistake I’ve made personally I can’t loose my home again I just can’t I have no where to go it’s at the point where I honestly don’t know what to do anymore I want to help him, I also hate him it’s horrible to say I know I care about him a lot but it’s so selfish of him to keep doing this promise to get help and lies and doesn’t I’ve done and given so much for him and to just get nothing in return hurts really bad I just pray he comes home I really do

[C-Louise]

Yeah it’s amazed me how many people have gone or are going through the same thing it’s really bad, all these advertisement of gamblerling is everywhere from buses, tv, posters even had one on my recite the other day. Just crazy, I mean I’ve just flipped out on him which I know I shouldn’t have done as he had money on him from a job and has to travel home it scares me he’s gone into the bookies again he promises he hasn’t Im hoping not but u just never know, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt I just honestly at this moment in time I can’t, I do have control over his money ( his idea ) but he had to have the money from work to home then I have it, so he has total access to his money until he comes home which there is no way to get around it so it’s really hard I’m just praying he will come home with the money so I don’t have to try find the bill money yet again because this week I generally don’t have t either just way to much stress thanks for the reply really appreciate it x

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