Thank you for your reply. In my conscience state or sober mind, much like an alcoholic who is sober first thing in the morning, I want to stop gambling. I realize that even small bets keep fueling the addiction and typically lead to larger bets trying to win back losses that continue to add up. There are many things that lead me to gambling during the course of the day that I am not even sure that I can identify all of them. Sometimes, it is boredom, many times, it is hearing talk of a big game, such as the world series game or home football game. Other times, I am triggered by other people talking about placing bets and then if I get upset at home, I know this sounds terrible, but I tend to justify that as a reason to go “do what I want” which I really don’t want to do, its like giving in to the inner demons. I wish it were as easy as removing triggers which I’ve read about, but the triggers are everywhere and even in my mind. Gambling has become a part of me. I can say that I haven’t placed a bet today and when I’ve thought about it, I’ve been reading posts on this site and researching the topic of problem gambling and trying to learn as much as I can.
