[Brendan_UT]

Trip to see my family was great. My little started to bond with my dad, which was extra special.

Have another counseling session tomorrow and am looking forward to it.

Just wanted to give a quick update. Hope everyone is doing well.

-Brendan

[Brendan_UT]

Thank you for checking in, Vera.

We made it safely. Little one is able to see her grandpa and uncles, which is great (my dad and brothers).

[Brendan_UT]

Great question.

I would stop gambling since you admitted that you are not in the best of situations to be gambling. If you are not a problem gambler, the entirety of your circumstances seems to indicate that gambling could quickly become problematic–seems like you have quite a bit of stress and you are using a form of drug to cope with it.

Some people feel that gambling is not a drug, but I am not so sure. For me, I would experience a high–win or lose, because my brain was releasing higher levels dopamine and making me feel good in the short term. In turn, this worked like a temporary band aid to prevent me from having to confront issues and sources of unhappiness that I was/am dealing with. So by all means, for me, and maybe for you, gambling acts like a real drug.

There are posters here that are more knowledgeable and know of more resources to point you towards, but I would encourage you to stop.

Also, you need to honestly ask yourself, would you participate in unethical behavior if gambling was not in the picture? Are you participating in unethical behavior to feed your gambling?

Hope to hear more from you!

-B

[Brendan_UT]

I mentioned to him that I have been active on this forum and he said reaffirmed the value of a posting forum because it’s easier for people to open up and be honest. The first time I went and saw a counselor, which was last winter, I struggled and struggled to open up. Took a few sessions to get everything out–wasn’t his fault by any means. Thinking I was not ready for counseling and still had some misconceptions about my ability to beat my GA on my own. Well, the relapse over the summer made me realize that’s not happening.

For those who I have talked with in chat, we found a good vehicle and are picking it up today. Tomorrow we are driving to the Portland, OR area to visit my family and my wife’s friends.

[Brendan_UT]

Hey Brian,
Hope you stay active on here.

-Brendan

[Brendan_UT]

Wow, that was a great experience (counseling session). Really felt great to just open up and receive perspective and advice.

[Brendan_UT]

Johnny, do you have anyone around you who could help with your situation, such as keeping you accountable and making sure you follow through?

This might seem unrelated, but I have found that when I work out and am active, I feel stronger mentally and more positive. If you have not joined a gym, I recommend that you start.

[Brendan_UT]

Seeing the counselor today.

Taking the little on trick or treating tonight.

-B

[Brendan_UT]

great post, Vera. I know that it has been effective solution for me.

Rooting for you Jarvish. Some great advice in here.

[Brendan_UT]

*tough cookie, though touching cookies is something she asks to do on a daily basis.

[Brendan_UT]

Deb,

Thank you for your comment and the positive words.

Would definitely be hard to do that, given the dynamic of this person. I am grateful that my wife is able to vent to her when needed, though she informed me that said friend does not offer much in the way of helpful support when she does vent to her.

As for an update, my life feels like a roller coaster, with the only flat section being that I have not gambled or have felt much temptation to. This does not mean that I don’t think about it, but I feel strong enough to not feed into it.

I was looking forward to going to see the counselor and mentally prepped myself to be an open book with him–this is real hard for me to do. Unfortunately, due to some absolute nonsense, I was unable to make my appointment. Seems like a real nice guy and was understanding.

I am also looking to go back to school and become a physical therapist assistant. One of the happiest times in my life was when I was working as a personal trainer while enrolled in college. I do real good working at an individual level with people and I feel that it is critical that I work outside of the home. Currently, I am the primary caregiver of our two year old and I work online, which has really suffered since the two year old came along. She is a touch cookie and when we don’t stick to the routine, it is mayhem and I have my hands full.

Really looking forward to getting back into school, learning, and working towards a profession that benefits society.

That’s all for right now. I may vent in these posts from time to time, because I truly don’t have someone in my life who I am able to open up to and just talk.

-B

[Brendan_UT]

In other news, I meeting with a counselor on Wednesday of next week. Looking forward to it.

Hope you all are doing good and I really appreciate those of you who have offered me a different perspective, advice, and information on resources to check out.

Thank you. Hope everyone has a great, gamble free weekend!

-B

[Brendan_UT]

Thanks, Charles. I don’t mind her telling people within her support network. That’s her right. With that being said, am I supposed to just sit and take lump after lump from people who don’t really understand my problem?

[Brendan_UT]

New day a different twist. New issue is occurring. My wife has told one of her closest friends about my issue. I don’t feel comfortable hanging around her friend because she is not a fan of me, given my problem. Not sure she was that much of a fan before knowing that I had a problem because my wife likes to vent to her.

The issue is that my wife wants me and her to drive 6 hours and spend a lot of time with her friend and her husband. I mentioned that her friend is not the type to keep sensitive information to herself, given her past actions, and that I am confident that she has told her husband about the “new development” and probably has told her family, who we also see.

Not sure how to handle this.

[Brendan_UT]

Congrats on your first post!

There is a great group tomorrow for new people to the site. I’ve been trying to make them and would recommend that you do too. Some great advice.

-B

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