[BlueVictoria]

Thank you velvet. 

The topic came up today at lunch, when my dad asked where the money goes, since we spend X on food, X on cars, X on utility bills. She remained silent and tried to avoid the topic, as expected. So dad asked her to bring him receipts whenever she spends some money in order to keep track of it. He is entitled to freeze the account and remove her signature so that she won’t withdraw. However, I do not know where this could go.

Mind that dad and I hadn’t previously talked, meaning that maybe we both got to a “boiling point” where we now need to express ourselves. If you say it is the best way, I might speak with him alone and figure out the right approach. She may handle it better from her husband than her daughter, giving the shame and disappointment it brings along. 

I think this will have to be quick, as we are receiving inheritance money we are going to use to pay our debts, and I certainly do not wish to go back into debts because she could make the first move on this money. 

[BlueVictoria]

Thank you Velvet, 

you are right, it sounds hard and, honestly, so new. Since I decided to open my eyes, I realized it is real and it has to be tackled. Before that day, I thought it was just a background situation that could come and go. Maybe I hoped it could be controlled, stopped, forgotten.

And again, the hardest psrt is: how do I start? Is it best to open up with my dad and see how we can deal with it together, or try to speak with her alone so that she doesn’t feel threatened or attacked?

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