[blueelvis888]

Thank you Velvet,Ramses07 and Vera for your support. God knows we need help as much as we can get. One day at a time is the only way to go to see if I have a control of my addiction .I have set no targets so I have one thing less on my mind .To stop watching horse/dog racing, checking the results and form is the method I have used so I have less contact with my addiction of gambling. It really is heart warming to know that there are some people willing to give there time and advice to help others without gain for themselves in our society now. This world has changed so much. For the compulsive gambler you have so many more ways to lose your hard earned money then back in the old days. Our government has a lot to answer for ?. Vera you said you went to the casino a couple of ***** lately . Did you actually gamble ? Another thing is I have neither had scissors sharp enough to cut my own hair but a good idea though LOL. And yes it is true the fat cats have had enough money from me. Ramses07 the last 30 or so years have been a never ending revolving door for me , round and round I go till everything is gone . There is really no way to beat the bookie !. Thanks Velvet for remembering Elvis , you have a good memory . Yes Elvis is good but a bit too fussy with his food unfortunately. Its true trying to quit gambling is not the same as quitting but I can honestly say for the first time in my life I am trying so hard to fight my gambling addiction I am giving this fight everything that I have. For me failure is not an option ! This will be enough I know it !

[blueelvis888]

***** Hopingforhelp, Help is something that I have plenty of over the years but whenever I have been bailed out of my gambling debt within a month or 2 I have always managed to get back into debt again. I have lost many things money,houses,business,cars, time, well you could say everything. I have contemplated suicide many ***** and have tried a couple of half hearted attempts at it . A bit sad really why gambling can do this to someone make them want to take their own life. I am currently unemployed and living back with my parents now. After losing my home due to gambling. Gambling is good when you are winning but if you have been gambling long enough we all know that does not last. There is no sure fire remedy to quit gambling . I have tried many,many ***** over the course of 30 or so years. I have read many books on the subject and have known people to abstain from gambling for years and then something like bad news or a relationship breakdown happens and they go back to gambling even stronger then last time and manage to lose everything again. Worsening the situation they are in. We all know the only thing that gambling is,is pain ,misery and suffering to mention just a few points that it does to you. Now having nothing not even a penny in the bank ,I have to rely on hand outs from my mum to buy food. It is not like I do not want to work but work is hard to come by now I have tried extremely hard looking for work. But the problem really is gambling, were it not for gambling I could probably retire tomorrow and live a good life. But gambling has taken that option away from me and many others here on this site. I have stopped gambling for about two weeks now and hope when I get any money in the future I have the strength not to gamble. For the first time in 30 years I feel the need not to gamble and feel that it has taken enough from me now. Best wishes to you I hope you can find a way to stop this terrible disease.

[blueelvis888]

Thank you Uncontrolled and Twilight 16 for your replies. I have not been ******** the days since I last gambled, watched a horse/dog race or checked the results .As that is usually my downfall when I ***** the days it is like a recipe for disaster I am not sure why ?. At the moment I have very little money but I am trying to be strong so not to get the urge to gamble and try to win more . Now I am thinking what I have in my pocket is better then nothing at all. When usually I think that what is enough is never enough. Resulting in losing everything. I am trying so hard to think differently from the past 30 years or so. I have been trying to find your thread Twilight 16 so I can read it again. I was just wondering where it was ?

[blueelvis888]

Hi fuuuuuu66, I am okay but I must admit I have been better. Maybe about 30 years ago before I started my life destroying gambling habit. Ohh how innocent I was then I did not drink,smoke or take *****. I sound a right boring old ****. But then gambling got hold of me and boy did it ruin my life. I had some good ***** though winning gives you that feeling that nothing else can. But today looking back on things, good ***** is the furthest thing from my mind.
What occupies my mind now is, what did I do ,how could I have been so stupid,why me,where am I going to find money to buy my everyday food, how many relationships and friendships have I wrecked, finding money to pay the bills, how to find my next job. Wowww gambling sure did hurt me a lot it has left me with virtually nothing but debt. No one deserves a gambling addiction whether you have 3 post graduate degrees or not any. Gambling does not care if you are bright and intelligent, white ,black or yellow, thin or fat . Gambling does not care about anything but the last pound in your pocket. When you have lost that even then it is not satisfied. loan after loan , house after house it will take everything if you let it. Think of your 3 children and wife and I hope you can find the strength from somewhere to stop this evil habit and your life may get better.

[blueelvis888]

Hey Crushedsoul, Maybe to feel rock bottom first you have to lose everything you own. It is just a thought !.I have had a long time to reminisce on the past on what I have done,who I have hurt,what I would have and where I would be if I had not had this gambling addiction. I think being a gambling addict, we all think that we are the worst gambler alive,in the worst position possible,have lost the most money and there is no way out. So what do we do continue to gamble which is the very thing that put us in that position in the first place. My own personal problem with gambling has been long and has taken so much from me that words cannot describe how I feel.
It is no shame in not being in a position to buy a house do not feel bad about it. If you really want to have a future and be able to buy your dream house one day .One thing has to stop is GAMBLING.
After many ,many years gambling and with nothing to show for my existence and work because of gambling .I have to start from the bottom again .I have no money,I have no job, I have just moved back with my parents at 46, the first time in 29 years I have no car this is all because of gambling. I am so determined to kick this habit that this time I cannot fail.

[blueelvis888]

Привет, неконтролируемый,
Спасибо, что оставили ответ на мой пост. Вы совсем не похожи на сумасшедшего социопата. Не было бы смешным, если бы я записал некоторые мысли, которые приходят в мою голову, чтобы вывести меня из этого беспорядка, в котором я нахожусь, потому что из-за азартных игр они заперли бы меня и выбросили бы ключ! . Вы говорите как нормальный парень, но, как и все мы на этом сайте, вы попали в вихрь азартных игр. Это правда, когда вы говорите, что когда вы выигрываете, у вас возникает чувство непобедимости. Но послушайте, как вы на самом деле себя чувствуете сейчас, спустя 30 или 40 лет на этом пути? Определенно, не непобедимым.
Вы упомянули, что вам недавно дали большую сумму денег, и вы все-таки сумели выплатить часть своих долгов и не потеряли все эти деньги снова, играя в азартные игры. Это начало выздоровления. Но позже в том же месяце вам удалось сбросить 10 тысяч за 30 минут. Ух, это больно. Я знаю одно наверняка, что ЛЕГКИЕ ДЕНЬГИ – это не азартные игры, мне потребовалось около 30 лет, чтобы это понять. Долго ! Я не специалист по выздоровлению, я чувствую себя очень слабым, когда дело касается азартных игр. Я пробовал обычные вещи, чтобы бросить азартные игры ГА, гипнотизеры, психотерапевты, клиники, я полагаю, вы могли бы сказать практически все. Но вроде ничего не работает. Тяга к азартным играм всегда была для меня невыносимой. Теперь я подошел к этапу своей жизни, когда мне нужно сделать большой выбор. Мне больше нечего терять. Все прошло из-за азартных игр. Я не замужем, у меня нет детей, но я очень этого хочу. Но в настоящий момент азартные игры лишили меня этой возможности. Мне 46 лет, и у меня одни долги, и мне так трудно думать, что я должен начать свою жизнь заново, потому что я играл в азартные игры. Но я пока не могу отказаться от жизни. У меня еще есть время найти что-то реальное вдали от безумия азартных игр, и я надеюсь, что смогу построить будущее и оставить свое прошлое позади.
Я действительно надеюсь, что ты сможешь найти в себе силы бросить азартные игры за день до того, как станет слишком поздно, и жить той жизнью, которой ты заслуживаешь. Будьте осторожны и не играйте в азартные игры, лишь бы это было на сегодня.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Uncontrolled,
Thank you for leaving a reply on my post. You do not sound like a deranged sociopath at all. Not being funny if I wrote down some of the thoughts that go through my head to get me out of this mess I am in, caused by gambling they would lock me up and throw away the key ! . You sound like an okay guy but like us all on this site you have been caught up in the whirlwind of gambling. It is true when you say that when you win you have a feeling of invincibility. But hey how do you actually feel now 30 or 40 years on down that road.Certainly not invincible.
You mention you were given a large sum of money recently and you did manage to pay off some of your debts and did not lose all that money gambling again. Which is a start to recovery . But then later on that month you managed to lose 10k in 30 mins. Wowww that hurts.I know one thing is for certain that EASY MONEY does not come from gambling it has taken me the best part of 30 or so years to work that out. A long time ! I am no expert in recovery in fact I feel so weak when it comes to gambling. I have tried the normal things to quit gambling GA, hypnotists , therapy, clinics I suppose you could say virtually everything. But nothing seems to work. The craving to gamble was always to much for me. Now I have come to the stage in my life where I have to make some big choices . I have no money or material things left to lose. Everything has gone due to gambling. I am not married ,no children but I long for that so much. But gambling has taken that option away from me at the moment. I am 46 with nothing but debt and it is so hard having to think I have to start my life over again all because I gambled. But I cannot give up on life yet. I still have time to find something real away from the madness of gambling and I hope I can build a future and leave my past behind.
Uncontrolled I really hope you can find the strength in you to quit gambling one day before its too late and live the life you deserve. Take care and do not gamble if only it is for today.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Uncontrolled and thank you for your reply today and for everybody in the past that has replied to me.
I have not been on gambling Therapy for a long long time now. Too long I might add .I have been so caught up with gambling that my thoughts on recovery have not had a seconds thought . I might add that were it not for gambling my life would be pretty good now . Also no doubt many others of the people here would be living a good life were it not for gambling !.
I am writing today as I feel a change in my thoughts on gambling. I am not sure where rock bottom is but I feel I am pretty close to it now.I have lost my job in December, I have no savings to fall back on, I sold my car a few weeks ago,
I have tried to sell anything that is worth anything to pay for food ,bills,etc.. If it were not for my mother I think I would have starved to death. I have tried to look for work through many temping agencies but January must be a slow month or that too many people are going for the same job. Before I have always seem to find some kind of job to survive on and I really do mean SURVIVE !.
If you are a compulsive gambling the only time you may have an abundance of money is when you are winning . Well that was true in my case. But we all know the winnings will only last a very short time. Hours and maybe a day or two before we lose everything AGAIN . Is this really the way to live I ask myself. I am not trying for people to feel sympathy for me or trying to tell a sob story. But for the first time in my life I feel I have really wasted my life and I am a complete failure. I have nothing left to give the bookies they have taken everything from me. All those many years of blind gambling for thrills seems such a distant memory. William Hill,Corals ,Ladbrokes and whoever else out there is not going to put food on my table ,money in my pocket, pay my bills ,petrol in the car I once had and the list is endless.
I told someone I love most in the world, my mother .That it would be impossible for me to quit gambling and it would follow me to the grave. I mean after I have gave her more then 30 years of hurt and disappointment with my gambling.
I tell her that , I could see the hurt etched in her face. That was 2 weeks ago . I have had a long time to think . For the past 4 days ,are the only 4 days in 30 or more years that I have not checked the horse/dog form and results on the internet or the newspaper. And I do not really want to know them .I feel now maybe I have reached my rock bottom and gambling has taken enough from me. I need to change if I want a future and a better quality of life. I do not believe in miracles but if I manage to stop gambling and lead a normal life again. That will be my own secret miracle.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Crushedsoul , Where do we start and finish this never ending soul destroying cycle of compulsive gambling. Rock bottom is mentioned so many,many ***** by people trying to quit a compulsive disorder. I myself have been battling it for so long about 30 years or so. A life time almost some would say. I often think about suicide just the same as you but I am not brave enough to go through with it. The amount of money I have lost and the pain,trouble, heartache and time I have lost to this evil habit I can never get back. I am not an expert on advice but over the last week or so I have opened my eyes a bit more to what gambling has really taken from me and for what ?.I am 46 and recently lost my job, I have no money, just debt, I had to sell almost everything I own,for a fraction of its true cost, just to survive and for what I ask myself. It is certainly not for the pleasure I took from gambling that is for certain. It was only about 2 weeks ago I told my mother who I love dearly but I have caused her so much pain and heartache through my compulsive gambling. That it would be impossible for me give gambling up and this disease would stay with me till the day I die. But over the past few days I have felt a slight change in me that has given me hope that I really do detest gambling. It has taken everything from me and for the only time in my life I feel the desire to fight my gambling habit and not give in to it any more. Whether I am at rock bottom or not I do not know but for the first time I feel a conviction in me that I never had in me before. How long this will last only time will tell. Maybe one day you will reach this point,I hope for your sake it is sooner rather then later before you do lose everything like me !– 2/3/2013 1:32:47 PM: post edited by blueelvis888.– 2/3/2013 3:59:28 PM: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Geordie, I thank you very much for posting on my thread. Life is so strange at the moment it feels like I am living some one else’s life and one day I will wake up and it will be just a bad dream. That in itself would be the greatest dream I could ever have.But no such luck my gambling addiction is for real.What you quoted in your post is 100% true.You have been there and done it and probably know everything to do about gambling due to a life time of gambling and disappointment .The same applies to me .But the only thing I truly would like to know about gambling but has evaded me for a lifetime is how to quit gambling.That truly has been a hard task.I know it can be done due to the many GA’s that have quit gambling but I love gambling so much I cannot bear to be without it in my life.But on the other hand if I continue to gamble I will either lose my sanity or be in a box 6 foot under. So the logical choice would be to stop gambling.If only it was that easy. I am currently in an IVA and one condition I had to agree to before the IVA was granted was to stop gambling.In June 1 year of my IVA is up and I have to provide all my bank statements and wage slips to my IVA company. To prove my income,out goings,etc. But almost every month since I took out my IVA I have been drawing money out from Corals bookies using my debit card. I am not really sure what is going to happen when they see that and usually by the 2 or 3 day of being paid my account is reading zero. Bankruptcy maybe. Why is it that I really love to gamble but if I had 1 wish in the world .That wish would be to stop gambling and live a normal life.Thanks again Geordie and sorry if I went on a bit.– 04/04/2012 21:50:28: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi franco, I hope you are doing well. As you say a normal life would be a fine thing.What chance does a gambling addict have of living a normal life.Zero chance.The last time I had any resemblance of a normal life was when I was still at school .I am now 45 .My weakness is horse and greyhound racing I just cannot get enough of it. Solutions are hard to come by for me , I know many many GA’s have quit gambling and hopefully never gone back to it. But quitting has proved beyond me at the moment.Have tried a list of things as long as your arm to stop gambling but nothing has worked for me, maybe subconsciously I do not want to quit.But life is short and we only get one chance of living it.So my quest to stop gambling will go on .Gambling really is not worth it.– 04/04/2012 19:59:12: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi everybody that has replied and thank you very much for your kind advice and taking time to read my posts.Have not been coming on here as frequently as I would like to. My mind is so very mixed up at the moment. gambling seems to have taken hold of me again. I have still been reading lots of peoples stories and one story that struck me called gambling his only TRUE FRIEND but really was his own worst ENEMY. How true I thought that was.Gambling and I have been inseparable for more time then I care to think of. I am sitting here writing this post and all I can think of is gambling even though it has taken every single thing from me . I am not asking for sympathy but I sit in my room every night thinking how such can such a thing as gambling have such a hold over me.There is not a thing I would not do to try and get money to gamble.I would probably swap the air I breathe to get money for my next bet. How sad that I value gambling more valuable then my own life. How did it come to this. There are a million and one things that I would like to say about what gambling has done to me.But I suppose there is really no point as I still value gambling above anything else in my life. Which I find so sad.The hurt I have caused my parents is quite unimaginable but still they are there for me through thick and thin.They really do not deserve such a useless son like me.What are the answers I am looking for. I have tried so hard in the past to quit gambling but it seems now I do not even want to try to stop. Any time I have any money I will just lose it gambling, don’t worry about the bills,rent,food,petrol and anything worthwhile normal people spend money on.Gambling is always more important to me.Have I got so delusional now that I do not know wrong from right. Do other people feel just like this.I really wish I could stop gambling before it is too late. I apologize if my post is just a bit depressing it is just that I have run out of answers.– 03/04/2012 18:59:47: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Carolyn, It breaks my heart thinking about your 3 wishes. And what gambling has done to you. We all have stories to tell , most of them heart breaking. I have completely destroyed 25 years of my life with my Gambling Addiction. Ruined relationships, unsurmountable debts, family rows, loss of long term friendships, basically a complete waste of time.I have so many regrets through gambling I have lost ***** , but what can I do.I cannot change the past. We all have to stop sometime before it consumes all of our lives and sanity. And we are left with no future. I think you have reached a point in you life now , when you have to say enough is enough and call it quits . I myself have only stopped gambling for only 10 days,so have a long way to go still. But whenever I have the urge to gamble , I come on this website ,read some posts and maybe try to give some advice, instead of gambling. We are all in the same boat here. So good luck with your recovery and Wish you all the best and I am sure you will be happy one day.– 06/01/2012 16:16:04: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Stevie, Congratulations on 22 weeks gamble free. I am only 9 days so I have a lot of catching up to do. But I feel positive. ***** shed loads of money from my parents and borrowed money from every available source you can imagine to feed my addiction. And only heart break and debts to show for it . A gambling life is really not a good way to live. Good luck to you and stay clean.– 05/01/2012 19:11:34: post edited by blueelvis888.

[blueelvis888]

Hi Bruce, A babysitter is what I wanted to control my gambling somebody to drive me to and from work, take me shopping, everywhere I went would shadow my every move so I would and could not stray to those evil places that people lose so much more then just MONEY. The bank card thing you write about I have done that so many ***** with my mum that I have lost ***** . We always promise to stop gambling.Trust is never easy between people as I have found out to my cost many *****.Nobody said gambling is good for you but we still do it. It should carry a government health warning like smoking. Nobody is here to judge you. We are all here for the same reason to refrain from gambling ever again. I have only been using this site a couple of weeks but every spare moment I get , I try to log on and I am so interested in all the stories and advice you can get from this site . And maybe give some of my own if it helps.Not having the willpower to stop gambling was my downfall. As have only stopped gambling for 9 days and *****ing. But it is never ever too late to call a halt to this mindless disease. So I will wish you well and I hope you can summon enough willpower to stop gambling for one day and just take it from there. And maybe one day you can have a gamble free life.– 05/01/2012 19:04:47: post edited by blueelvis888.

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