[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Nice to see the "guys" on the chat.
Cully, it’s funny how much we have in common. I held and "sniffed" my daddys railroad cap today. Sad to say I can’t "smell" him anymore. Did they have the funny flower ones in Texas or is that a Chicago thing? We never had too much money as kids but we would ride to a special store, now closed, that carried those caps and overalls. The caps were 3.95 as i remember, and they were sized, i think his was 7 &3/4. The regrets of old age. I would give a year of my life to have one more day fishing with my dad, talking about the farm he grew up on and him telling war stories. He was in the Corps of Engineers, said he built bridges and blew them up.
Happy 79th Birthday Daddy, I love you!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

That stinks Jules!
I went out to the thrift store, car wash, got my nails done. All still cheaper than going to the casino.
I went to late dinner, ate a bananna split with my daughter. Lets see, no gambling means eating hot dogs, fries, and icecream! I wish i could substitute say, a long walk, instead of eating! Oh well, it was a treat, not a daily thing so tomorrow I will eat better.
Nite all!
bettie

[bettie]

lifesaver Jules!
Why didn’t we even talk about GA today??
Weather is too nice and I am too lazy! I have never been to a spa, sounds good!
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks Jules, I’ll be around! I might just call u!

[bettie]

Tx Cully,
I’m still here, urge is less but still there. I won’t leave the house until it passes.
bettie

[bettie]

Out of the blue – BAMB!- urges! Wonder if it has a lot to do with my poor, no make that my total lack of self esteem!
My friend stopped by and now he’s gone. I am so lonely! I settle for the tiny speck of attention he gives me, I long for him for weeks and he’s gone in a flash!
Self destructive behaviour. now i want to gamble! I guess that goes hand in hand. I need therapy. I keep telling myself I don’t but I do.
I am my own worst enemy. I know why I have no esteem I just don’t know what to do about it.
I won’t gamble today. I am glad the casino is so far away!
peace
bettieIt’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….Looking for the Wisdom

[bettie]

Hi Mobi, Hi Guys!
I had a casino dream last night. I went to Vegas, I think I was by myself. I had been there for days, wandering through the casinos of my past. I was not playing, just looking. I wanted to play but I was thinking that I wanted to come home and post on my thread that I did it! I went to Vegas and didn’t gamble!
So see, EVEN IN MY DREAMS YOU ALL MAKE ME NOT WANT TO GAMBLE! LOL!!
Urges today but so what! I don’t gamble anymore!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

What a lovely rainy day. It’s green outside, i just love it.
Woke with a belly ache but will live to complain another day.
Can’t seem to manage a workout in the morning so I plan one for after work, it keeps me busy and gives me something to do in my "idle" time.
Looking for a stressful month. I have about 3 weeks to make that stupid quartly goal that they raised since last quarter and I am only 1/2 way there! I could use some prayer support so I am posting that here today.
It’s sad. At this point in my life I should be coasting in this job but now that we are "salesman" it’s dog eat dog and no one wants to throw me a bone! Stress, gambling trigger! It’s not going to get me! I can see it, feel it, and just have to deal with it. Gambling doesn’t help it just makes it worse!
Off to work then 2 days "off". I work the part time job tomorrow and have that medical procedure Friday but even that is more desirable than going to my job. Sad.
time to get going,
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Nice chat but i’m off to bed. Good to see you all. ((p)) Hang in there!
Hope to post more tomorrow.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys!!!!!
I’ve missed u all SO MUCH!
Thank you HARRY fo answering my email.
Got to run but all is well-no gambling!
Hope to catch therapy chat tonight.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Ok Guys, fess up time.
Didn’t make it to GA, Jules wasn’t up for it but I have no such excuse. There are thursday meetings that are close to me.
Maybe next week.
Saw Dr, need a procedure to confirm what I think is already going on. It should be just fine.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys, Thanks for the posts!
Did u see the news? I guy in PA has to give his jackpot back. Y? He is banned and went anyways. I Wonder if trying to claim the $2001. that he hit is worth the embarresment and the tresspass charge he now faces. If he’s anything like me that $2001 is just a drop in the loosing bucket.
This would happen to me so it just inspires me to STAY AWAY!
I hope this man can now face his deamons head on and get help. I do feel his embaressment and his shame.
Ga tonight. I wonder what it will be like??
peace
bettieIt’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….Looking for the Wisdom

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Nice little chat, need to remember that time for Wednesday here.
Need to clean so I don’t have to do it tomorrow!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Thanks for the posts. I called the mtg and was able to get current on both. ( Thanks God!) I am dissapointed that I let myself get here but here I am.
The money is almost all gone now and will be  by the end of the week. At least the bills are current but i looked at my budget and there really isn’t much room for any extras.
I have what I need and I can work with that. If I want more I will just have to figure out how to make more $$, simple as that.
I am blessed and need to count my blessings, so many more have so much less. I need to stop being greedy.
Nancy, did you let the mtg company know u won’t be able to manage that payment? There is supost to be help out there and lots of talk about it. I have been trying to get a modification but they keep wanting more info. Oh well, worth a shot right? What can they say, no? It will work out, something always does.
Gonna look around then hit the sack!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi K, morning here. Wow great progress and well earned congrats on your "clean" time!
If you start selling candles on e-bay please warn me! I can see the ad now, "All natural, lovely yellow-orange colour, for give the fragrance!"
Have a great week!
bettie

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