[bettie]

Hi Guys!
You are all so sweet!
Got a call from my mom. my Aunt has taken a turn and it doesn’t look good. I have every intention of going back down south if she passes. Work can grant me up to 5 brevement days,I am expecting a hard time over it.
Wait and see. This Aunt was always a favorite of mine. She has fought cancer for 40 years ( she was found to have ovarain cancer way back then and was given 6 months to live, guess she showed them!) and fully recovered from a massave stroke about 4 years ago. If any one can pull through it would be her, but this is really bad.
My Mom is beside herself, it is her baby sister. I am now glad we drove 3 hours for a 10 minute visit when we were there.
The "landlord" dared to show his face inside the bank today. I treated him like just another customer, was pleasent, and proceded to strutt my stuff right past him , let him see just what he had and lost.
revenge, a dish best served cold! lol!
peace
bettie
 

[bettie]

Thanks for the concerns guys, Larry, I was not offended, our opinions are similar but dealing with your children is easier said than done. If I tell her what a creep he is it will just make her stay with him, thats how I married her dad, my parents hated him!
Jen cane over today and we worked out a budget. She wants me to "back her up", not help her pay unless she really can’t make it. The boyfriend feels the same. I am still snaching the paycheck.I asked her why it was ok for her to support him but not for me to help? I told her entrusting me to save money for her could be a problem with my CG. We may have to take a second look and involve a 3rd party.
He is promising to look for work, we will see.
The "landlord" came to remove a yellow jacket nest from the house wall. ( They are like wasps and can be dangerious).
The fool did it at noon with only gloves! I hope a few of the little ******s got him! (And you can imangine where!)
Ok, I know that wasn’t nice but I just had to say it!
off to bed and hopefully some sweet dreams!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

…. A man can tell a thousand lies, I’ve learned my lesson well…..
Madonna, Live to tell
 

[bettie]

Originally posted by bettie

Hi p,
It a little more complicated than that . He will let her out of the contract but the time and money that has already been spent and just finding some place else that will take bad credit and two dogs…….
I am sure he would keep the security deposit.
My daughter said she would just go back to Georgia where she has friends. She would walk away from a decient job and into the unknown,live like a street person. She is having so much trouble with her back, I don’t know what she would do without insurance.
So many details, so distressing.
And a "friend" did this to me. It makes me ill!
There is no easy solution and I know your heart is in the right place. Thanks p!
bettie
Got to add on here!
I missed you Vera and Larry!
You both bring up valid points. As far as enabling I do have a hand up in that area. She has a direct deposit into a joint account that we are both on. We will work a budget and I will take the necessary funds as soon as they hit. I made a big mistake doing business with this guy and if another option shows we will find a way to get her moved on i just don’t see it right now. She does NOT want me to help with the money but I know she won’t be able to buy food if i don’t and not to mention he is a client at my job, things i really didn’t put alot of thought into.He will be coming to my JOB to collect the rent if it’s not timely and I gave my word, which still means something to me, even if his is meaningless. For now, for my own sanity, I need this stuff to settle down. I am really on the edge, the stress is eating me alive.
As for the boyfriend, he is around because she is afraid to be alone, period! She won’t toss him out but wants him to get a job. If that happens he will have to take over his share, the part I will be paying. She’s almost 29. You couldn’t tell me much at that age.
The funny part is gambling is so far from my mind right now. My daughters safety and security is my priority and I know i need every penny to help her. If it hadn’t been for the mortgage break we would be in real trouble.

[bettie]

Hi p,
It a little more complicated than that . He will let her out of the contract but the time and money that has already been spent and just finding some place else that will take bad credit and two dogs…….
I am sure he would keep the security deposit.
My daughter said she would just go back to Georgia where she has friends. She would walk away from a decient job and into the unknown. She is having so much trouble with her back, I don’t know what she would do without insurance.
So many details, so distressing.
And a "friend" did this to me. It makes me ill!
There is no easy solution and I know your heart is in the right place. Thanks p!
bettie

[bettie]

I’m gonna try and update a little.
Since I got back from my trip I have been helping my daughter settle in her new rental. The landlord, a so called friend of mine came over last saturday with the lease. When he first approached me about finding a renter he told me he would rent to her for $600 monthly, which is a bargan price but it is a very old house and she will have to pay utilities.
My daughter saw the house, thought that the place would be good for her and her little dogs. She has credit issues and they will run credit checks so she is hard pressed to find a decient place, esp with pets and said yea, i want the place. I can have mom give you the $600 deposit and need to be in by Sept 1st.
After days of work, he comes with the lease when I wasn’t avalable to be there ( I tried to do this before I left town). He says it’s $1000 a month like we agreed on.( He tapped her shoulder and winked) She thought it was odd but since he was my friend she signed anyway. She called me to say mom this wierd thing happened. I told her no worries as I knew he was refinancing his own home and may have needed to do that in order to show income for his refinance and that I would call him when I got back.
Monday I call him, Oh no bettie, I never said that! How could I rent for less than what my mortgage and taxes are?
OMG! Long story short he is as sure he didn’t say it as I am sure he did!
Why would I have even shown her the place when I knew that price was out of reach for her? I told mutual friends at work what he offered her the house for. Why would I do that if he hadn’t said that???
I have racked my brain to try to figure out how this happened. I hate to think the worse of people but what was the motovation for him to do this? The old renters wanted to stay on, he had others interested, the place wasn’t sitting empty, WHY DID HE DO THIS? He is full aware of my and my daughters financial situtation. The burden on me is so great it is almost unbearable!
He will let her break the lease but where will she go? She won’t stay with me, I can’t have the dogs here. She won’t get rid of them. She is not the most stable person and I am worried sick! And I am so embarrased! How can I tell my family what I let happen? My brother was suppost to be there when she signed the lease. THANK GOD that didn’t happen! One of them would have been in jail
I gave him the additional $400 for the deposit. I will have to give him my next check to finish paying the rest of the rent for this month.
He came over Thursday and I made a list of what needed to be done right away (carpet cleaning, locks, etc.) He said what do you want now, this place to be like new? I told him no but if he was going to get $1000 for rent he could no longer be a slum lord and needed to clean the things we let slide, BECAUSE THE RENT WAS CHEAP!
Remember the break I got on my mortgage? Well no casino worries as he will get all that and more from me before it’s done!
I promised that the rent would be paid, he made a fuss about the dogs (too late *sshole!).
Some days I just wish I had never been born!
bettie
 

[bettie]

Thanks G
Hey meurs, sorry we got cut off. Don’t know what happened to the chat tonight.
Too tired to post. Hard day, no gambling.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guy,
I’m home! TIRED! Spent the night with my daughter. We did have a little heart -to -heart talk. She claimes she kept those tickets as a reminer to how much she spent, claiming they were more than a years worth. I gave her my spin on things, that CG’s are lotto players too. I told her i knew about how much $$ was slipping through her hands.She claims the casino is not a regular outing. I referred her to the twenty questions, advised her on how and why i think i "crossed the line" and how it sneeks up on you.
How much am I buying? I hope what she is telling me is true but my heart says there is more to it. All I can do now is sit back watch and see.
gotta run., want to pop in on the chat
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
p I’ll be home tomorrow. Ken, I lost my connection!! Enjoy the grand boy! Have fun.Sherry, life would be wonderful if i could follow this advice!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
I saw Jenny’s new post and found this old one. Based on the many conversations I’ve had with so many people here this poem really spoke to me. If only I could get this message to sink in. It is wonderful advice.
let it go!!!!
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. LET them GO!
And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of goodbye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to…LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…LET THEM GO!
If someone has angered you…LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…LET IT GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…LET IT GO!
If you have a bad attitude…LET IT GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…LET IT GO!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship……. LET IT GO!
If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves…LET IT GO!
If you’re feeling depressed and stressed…LET IT GO!
Get Right  or Get Left, think about it, and then…LET IT GO!
i often go through this poem over and over when i am feeling down on myself for gambling…. hope it helps all of you…
love jenny
jenny

[bettie]

hi guys,
so many lovely posts. Nice to come "home" to. The visit with Marbeauty didn’t happen. She had some pressing matters that came up. I understand that things happen but why does it always seem when I have plans with someone? My sister said it "them" not me but I get stood up so often I can’t help but wonder..
My Aunt that lives here has surgery today. They removed her blatter. Her life will never be the same. She is tough and has survived cancer twice so if anyone can make aa comback it will br her. Hope to see her before we leave. Her hospital is 1&1/2 hours away.
Visited with my brother and sister in law today. Went to "Grand Tower", it a rock formatation in the middle of the Mississippi where Louis And Clark were when they basicly explored the mid west in the 1800"s. Very historic place in American History.
Went to the cemetary to visit my dad, brother, grandparents and uncles grave. I held it back when I got into the car. I didn’t want them to see me cry.This year was so hard about remembering them. So much grief, esp. for my brother.I miss him so much!
I posted in F&F section. Need to leave a little note of thanks there. I will address that issue when I get back, just don’t know how quickly I will do it.
My mom resents me being on the PC and said they should all be burned. It’s because they take attention from her and my sister gets on her pc when mom drives her crazy.
gotta run!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

congrats Grace!

[bettie]

Made it to the hotel. It is passable but for what u pay it should be nicer. Pool is out of order!
Lots on my mind, trying to be patient with my mom but it is hard. She complains non stop, we have only seen two people and i have heard the same gripes 4 times! She started in on my daughter and I had to stop her. Mine is the only grand child that does ANYTHING for her, giving up most of her saturdays to hang out with her but if everything is not to her liking then no one is doing anything for her. I have been patient , it’s only been 14 hours, but it’s had it’s moments already.
I am meeting Marbeauty from GT tomorrow.( She was here briefly around March and we have kept in touch. She is a devout GA member now) I am excited about that . My brother will keep mom tomorrow. She is MAD that I made a plan without her. I will be attacted for the next 10 years for that one, "Well she took me then she ran off and had fun without me as soon as we got there!" Well, it’s my vacation too.
God grant me the serenty…….
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Well what a day!
I didn’t leave for my trip so i could help my daughter start moving. I am exausted! I also ran into a shocking suprise,
hundreds and i mean like a stack over 6 inches tall, of loosing scratch-off lottery tickets. Three, Five, Ten and Twenty dollar tickets. Thousands of dollars worth. Is this where the money goes? I am just sick! I gave her those bingo style tickets when she was 12, when she was in the hospital, because she had to work at them to figure out the winners.
What a nice gift to give your child. Compulsive gamblism, if there is such a word.I took her to Vegas when she turned 21, I taught her how to play poker and slot machines. All the gambling advice in the world.OMG, what did I do? I am devasted! She has had to face so much in 28 years, why this? Why?
I haven’t talked to her yet. I don’t know what to say. I would be a hipocrate no matter what i say or do.
Well off on the road trip. Hope the wifi works at the hotel so I can get online. If not, I’ll be back Sunday.
peace
bettie
 

[bettie]

Hi Grace,
I see u met ( Or re-met) my buddy Vera. SAlt of the earth that one! She has the wisdom of the ages and it is a blessing to me to ***** her as a friend.
Reading my thread. I now refer to it as "war and peace", and I am tired of the war ( in my head ) and am always seeking peace. Too bad you can’t print it and use it to put u to sleep! lol!
peace
bettie

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