[bettie]

Hey!
Oh the concert was Beautiful! The kids so talented! THE WEATHER SO COLD!! ( boy, am I a whiner or what?)
Had a customer come in wanting to open a rather large account , about twenty five thousand. I explained the rules and he said he had a banker at another branch, would he get credit? I was honest, I told him how the credit worked and that he wouldn’t get credit. The guy left 🙁 ! i am about $300 short on my goal and the would have given me a little credit toward that. I was complaining that any other banker would have lied and opened the account. I was being punished yet again for my honesty! About an hour later the guy came back! He said he didn’t feel like going to the other branch and we were so nice to him he would open it with us! So, not only did her come back he brought $75 thousand with him and I will get about $60 toward my goal!! Yea!!!!!
OK guys, keep up the prayers OK?
Sorry I missed the chat! I hate to miss my Tuesday night date w/lee ! lol!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hey!
Man winter is here with a vengeance! Work is a nightmare-again! I thought I had this goal thing set for the quarter but I am still coming up short. Failure is not an option, as I didn’t make last quarter and will start the year on a written warning and will also lose any incentive pay that is earned for the next 6 months! I Can NOT go through that again!
I am only working 8 more days this year and don’t know what to do. We are So Slow! Prayers needed, big time!
My niece has her chorus performance tomorrow, something to look forward to.
Did I mention, my 14 year old niece has a belly button piercing! What is wrong with my sister?
peace
bettie

[bettie]

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful….."
Had so much fun with Santa! The weather is awful but we had fun anyways. My brother made sure we got there extra early and the people there gave us extra time with Santa for pictures. We got one with each of the girls then one with my brother and niece. He made Christmas cards out of that one. They insisted that I take a picture with Santa so he had me sit on his knee. ( I know what Santa wants for Christmas, a new Knee!!) Mrs Santa was not too pleased so she shook her fist at me! It was so funny!
We went walking through the snow and slush to see some animals. It was so cold with the wind blowing! We went into the Australla house, saw the wombats and fruit bats! Nice and warm in there I’ll tell you. Thought of all my Auzzie friends here and imagined I was there!
Talked to my sponser. Hard to be accountable to someone as she wants me to call at least every few days. I feel like I am more "advanced" in my recovery and feel like a little kid, but you know what? What ever it takes. I’ll take those baby steps. Most likely I’ve missed things and I am not too old to realize my way (gambling) didn’t work, time to get advice from a "pro". She’s got about 7 years clean, I can learn a lot from her.
peace
bettieIt’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….Looking for the Wisdom

[bettie]

Hey Guys,
Well breakfast with Santa at the zoo tomorrow. We are expecting some really bad weather and have to be out at 7:30 am. Well I just hope it’s not too cold. My brother and his daughter are coming too. These girls are 14  and 17, we started taking them when they were 4 and 7, This will be the last one 🙁  but time marches on!
When my brother got divorced around 11 years ago I assumed the mommy role when he needed one. Since my niece was just a little younger ( and lived down stairs from me) we brought her along too and made a foursome. We went everywhere, camping, shows, movies, school programs, and breakfast with Santa! Such happy little times, almost forgotten, until now.
Clear the gambling fog and find the life and the person lost so long ago.
What a wonderful thing!
peace
bettie– 12/12/2010 4:17:42 AM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

OK pick a title for my reality show.
"Life in Bettieland"
"Bettie B – Recovering Compulsive Gambler" and the one I like-
as suggested by VTC " pretty Bettie" ( as opposed to "Ugly Betty", lol!) — 12/11/2010 4:50:27 AM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

Hey All,
Home safely and tired. Almost 900 miles of running around in about 36 hours.
The funeral went as all funerals do. Mom had a what I believe was a panic attack. Don’t know what was said or what she may have said, as she was sitting with two of her sisters and talking. ( I asked if my brother if we should leave mom with them alone, he said well they are her sisters and know how she is.)We were sitting in the back of the church and she came over, one hand clutching her cane and the other on her chest. We sat her down, tears in her eyes, asking what was wrong. She said I don’t know but my chest hurts and I feel like fainting. My sister in law took her pulse, I gave her hard candy and she was still uncomfortable. My sister suggested we take her out and get her some air and food. We did that, she felt better with in 5 minutes. My sister told her that unless she needed medical attention she needed to not talk about being ill, as today was not about her. We took her back but our visit time was running short. I asked my brother if he wanted to stay for the actual funeral and he said leave it up to Mom. She said she had had enough and wanted to leave. So we said our good bye’s and were off.
Had an interesting conversation with my Aunts oldest daughter. She is a devout Christian and really lives the sermon, but doesn’t preach it. I admire someone like that, I really do. ( She gets that from her mother).
We talked about my mom. She said you know Aunt XX has a heart of gold bettie, for all her faults she can be very thoughtful and giving. I told her that she makes everyone around her miserable and I just didn’t know what I could do for her. She said Bettie, she just doesn’t like herself. I told her well XXXXX, she passed that to her children. I could see the tears in her eyes, and she asked me how was I doing? I told her better now, but it has taken me 47 years to figure out what the problem was, and I’m working on it.
It’s like she could tell I was in some type of recovery, with out even asking. I felt the presence of God for the first time, in a long time, standing in that bathroom, in that Church, in front of one of the many murals that she and her mom had painted for the church when it was built 2 years ago. She said her mom said she didn’t know how to paint. She told her she couldn’t do it alone. she said her mom had a lot of talent, she just didn’t know it. She said we all did.
My brother told my cousin when we were leaving how sorry he was, that she was a great Aunt, and must have been a wonderful mother.
thanks you guys, my recovery buddy’s. Don’t know what I would do with out you!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys and thanks,
The evening portion of the trip went better than expected. Dropped my mom off at my brothers and RAN! Went with my sister to visit an Aunt then my deceased brothers girls. ( 18 ans 12, OMG!) The one benefit of a funeral is seeing family that you don’t see much of. We laughed our behinds off with my aunt and was so good to see the girls, even if only for a little while.
I shared a bed with my sister, first time in YEARS, some things never change! She uses a c-pap machine for sleep apnea and wears braces on both hands for carpal tunnel syndrome. I think she punched me in the head about 4 times last night and may also be why I was up at 4:45am and moved to the lobby of the hotel so I could have coffee and smoke. ( and catch up here) She knows about my cg, my brother who joined up with us doesn’t so here I am. I think 3 people stayed here last night. It’s off season now.
I just really realized that when we go to the services in a few hours this will be one of the rare times that the remaining people in my immediate family will be together. That hasn’t happened since the Thanksgiving before my brother past and the time before that was at my Dads funeral.
Life is funny isn’t it?
peace
bettie– 12/9/2010 12:31:43 PM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

We have arrived safely and weather is holding. Ugh! I really need to know how to deal more effectively with my mom. She questions my intention on everything I do. I brought my brother a case (30) of White Castles ( sliders).( he lives here in Southern Illinois, they don’t have them here) I didn’t tell her. She was ticked off. Why? I need a therapist for this. I don’t want to carry this stress every time I see her.
Just missed the chat. Too bad, I could have used it!
Catch u soon!
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks for the well wishes.
Not a banner day here. Found out Mom intends to pay for nothing but my sister and brother from this area will be joining me and I had a credit toward the hotel from our last trip so it will be cheap for the room. We leave tomorrow.
Had a customer who came into the bank. I asked how he was, he said not good. His son committed suicide. He was in tears and I tried to console him as best I could with a lobby full of customers. Nice people, so sad! He’s my age so I would guess his boy was in his late teens, early 20’s.
They are having the wake and funeral for my Aunt on Thursday, but my sister and brother will have to be back for work on Friday so it will be a quick trip. We won’t stay for the funeral service. Haven’t told my mom yet. But she could stay with my oldest brother who lives there and take the train back. It’s the least he could do, given all she does for him.
I’m tired, sad and crabby!
nite
bettie
 

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Oh rough day. One of the tellers got let go and my Aunt passed away.
My Mom is doing better than I thought she would. My Aunt lived about 6 hours away and we will make what can be a treacherous car trip this time of year.  She called to tell me she will stay at my brothers house and I can stay there or at the hotel if I want. Problem is my brothers home has major issues, and we will be turning them out of their own bed. Nice that they offered however, my mom really doesn’t want to spend the money for the room. She just had a miserable visit with them over Thanksgiving, at least according to her, so why does she want to go back? Since that time she has also managed to buy him a used car complete with title transfer and license plates.
Whats wrong with  this picture? Any time I have borrowed a penny I was expected to pay it back. SHE BOUGHT HIS HOUSE FOR HIM! He doesn’t work, never really has, and she has bailed him out time and again.
Guess I’m a bit frustrated, to say the least, but I will get past it. I guess I’m just mad. She knows Jen was off of work with the broken foot and out of pay too. I pretty much gave her my entire last check to make up for the missing money, and now I have no money for this trip. Where is the help for Jen? She spends almost every Saturday with my mom, visiting, watching movies, taking her out. No other grand kids can be bothered with her. When I mention my mom and say that I have the mother of all mothers, I’m not kidding!
Have not heard what arrangements have been made. (Would not surprise me if no one wants her to come to the service, sad to say. She burned those bridges a long time ago.)
What a sad, sad person my mother is. I heard everyone goes to the shrink and blames their mother for their faults and short comings. I know I have a lot of her traits, and it frightens me. It is truly a miracle that I turned out as well as I have, and we all know my life has been no bed of roses, well, except for the thorns.
Sorry to vent but felt the need.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

hi guys.
Thanks for all the chats and posts! Larry, now I have been called out, lol! Turn about is fair play!
I Think maybe I teach people more of what NOT to do, then what to do! LOL!
Very flattering, and I thank you!
I am pooped out. Tree is done, balcony decorated, stuff up and out all around the condo. A lot of work and I haven’t done it in years, too busy at the casino to spare the time. Well, not this year.
Sponsor called with expectations and a home work assignment fair enough. I have had a blank journal laying around here for months. See, Divine intervention maybe??
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi!
Well the parade was nice, cold and snowy but fun. I called my brother and he and his daughter joined me. He treated for dinner after then we went to look around the antique shops. My new sponsor called but i couldn’t talk, was almost to my brothers house. We will talk tomorrow.
Thanks Ken for the talk, Lizbeth, always a pleasure! I know I’ve missed some of you all but my mind is a blank. Talked to ken about the fwb situation so I am a little weepy and distracted.
Thought about gambling. Last year I went straight to the casino and would have not invited my brother and would have gone right away this year too. Banning is a blessing. I keep having passing thoughts, less than an urge but on my mind. When do we stop thinking about it? Illinois is trying for 4 more casino licenses plus a land based casino for Chicago, I think the state legislators should be required to read some threads before making that call! I also heard that Illinois is bring back smoking in the casinos, too much lost revenue to Indiana, just like I thought it would be! lol! Well thats OK, can’t go there anyways! I banned for life here!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hey Kids,
Just a quick post as i need to sleep!
Snow is starting here, will be a mess tomorrow but I don’t mind, yet! There is a light parade in town tomorrow, all the entry’s have Christmas Lights and they turn off the lights on the main street. Really lovely if the weather is not too cold.
Went to my meeting, the pinning was lovely, they even asked me to read! And I had to read first!
I asked someone to sponsor me tonight. It was between 3, and I know I got a tough one but maybe thats what I need, a butt kicker! We will see how it works.
peace
bettie
 

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Well the tree and the boxes are up stairs, not without a whole lot of huffing and puffing! Putting up a 7 1/2 foot tree in a room with an 8ft ceiling is not good! The star is awfully crooked and I just don’t have the will to fix it. ( Maybe I should have put up the Manger and prayed before putting the star on!) Took me 4 hours to fix the lights, I loaned it to the FWB last year and this was how I got it back, never again!! The tree has 3 ornaments on it. One is from the "Wizard of Oz", The seen where they melt the witch in the castle. Press the button and it has the dialog from the movie, "I’m melting. melting!" what in the world does this have to do with Christmas, heck I don’t know! But it was a gift and I love it!
Went to dinner with my brother with my gift card. We went back to his house and he was looking at an old video tape. There was one of my dad holding my niece as a newborn. So sweet! My dad loved the babies! He was rocking her, telling her how my (then) one year old niece would tear up the house and how she would be joining her soon. My brother was a bit choked up, first time seeing and hearing my dad since he past away in 2000. I told him I looked at the one of my brothers wedding with both dad and my brother alive and laughing and bawled my eyes out. I didn’t tell him I drank a whole bottle of rum when I watched the video.
He called me later to say he had found one from 1989, Christmas with the whole family. That may have been one of the only times we were all together. I suggested showing it Christmas Eve but he thought it might be too upsetting. Maybe we all need a good cry, and a wonderful reminder of the good times we had when we were young!
need to sleep!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Gee Guys,
I’m down right embarrassed from all the compliments I’ve had posted to me in the last week. You guys are too kind! Really!
Crackles, you are too young for eye strain, hope it wasn’t too much on you, lol!
Went to a Christmas Party for our local Chamber of Commerce. We had to donate a toy or $5 dollars. Was nice be have the means to do both. I was dreading how to handle the raffle tickets. This year they didn’t have one thank God, but they did have a 50/50 jackpot split. My friend was trying to get in on it but I did not participate. I took her donation to the lady and walked away.
I did get yet another gift. I have a business customer ask me where I liked to go to eat quite a while back. I forgot that he had asked as that was so long ago. He came in today with a card for me, and a gift card too. It had no value on the card but you had to look it up on line. Guess how much? $50 bucks! I couldn’t believe it! People have been so generous to me this year, I am raking in the cash, lol!
Hope to drag the Christmas tree from the basement tomorrow and make this place look Christmasy, even if it is only for me.
Back in September I posted about my Aunt being so ill. She has pneumonia and has been in a drug induced coma. They are supposed to remove the ventilator tomorrow. I know, get prepared, but it’s not over until it’s over. Such a fighter! She should have been gone so long ago. God bless her!
need to hit the hay.
peace
bettie
 

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