[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Firstly I must say I had a pleasant visit and a nice lunch with an old friend of mine. Thanks Jules! ( you know everyone who reads this is jealous I got to meet you! oh, and not to mention JAKE, what a sweet pup! LOL!! )
Always good to catch up on the chat! Tx Laura! (and SO many others!!) Lizbeth, hey you are doing great!
Hey Larry,
No typo! Jules saw my boots and loved them too! ( and she was NOT drinking! ) That really tickled me! We shall not discuss my "assets" as it were!! No offence taken! You are a funny guy!
peace
bettie– 1/3/2011 3:27:44 AM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

Hi Guys!
Got on the scale kathryn, that wiggle is more like a wobble!
OMG! Time to get it together.
I plan to go visit a friend today, so I want to get on it and get moving. Even a very little workout is something. Need to get back in the habbit and out of some other bad ones. My belly is awful! Need to stop feeding it as it has a life of it’s own.
I am off this week so I have no excuse not to do something!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Home from the party, all is well.
Had a nice time. My friends cousin seemed nice but was well into his holiday drink by the time I got there. He complemented my boots and made my day. He said I looked good in my jeans. Guess he had more than a few drinks, lol!
Happy New Years!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Knew I would have to do a little edit on last nights post!
Larry, "such is life". I guess that is acceptance for me. "To accept the things I can not change." Don’t we all wish a step back in time, just to tweak things a bit. Well that will never happen but if only……
CM, I know we just met so you couldn’t  know about the weight issue and me. I always refer back to 1992-1994 as the 5 minutes I was thin. I worked very hard, lost over 100 lbs ( the 2nd time in my life ) only to gain it all back plus more after my girl was hit by a car and nearly killed. I have since lost that weight again, but having a lot more to loose and being 15 years older I have not gotten to where I would really like to be. But, thats OK. Usually by now I’ve gained it all back but i have basically maintained the last 2 years. Time to change it up, work it out, and get myself back on track.
I did see the chiropractor.( got my feet done too! ) We set up 12 sessions for strength training and therapy. I wanted to do this last year but didn’t have the money. I still don’t have the money but if I don’t do something about this back I will continue to use it as an excuse not to exercise. Nothing changes if nothing changes. My doctor wanted me to get therapy for my leg pain, he says it’s my back, so this will kill two birds with one stone. Chiropractor took one look at me yesterday, and remarked how out of whack my back is. Lying flat she could see how much higher my right hip is than my left. Kind of like a pretzel. I can see that when I dress, so I know she is on the mark with that.
OK enough about my medical issues, hope you are not asleep at your PC right now wondering if I am still under the influence! lol! No I’m not but my head hurts!
I don’t think I will be back on today as I work, have GA, then ( maybe ) the party. Will see how it goes!
See u all next year!
Happy New Year Everyone!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Sorry if this post is fueled with rum and tequila. My brother gave me a wonderful gift for Christmas, a video from Christmas past. I have cried my eyes out! My Sweet brother, playing with my daughter and niece, my dear sweet daddy, playing with the grands! On My GOD! I miss them SO MUCH!
So precious, the memories of Christmas past!
I want to scream at the video image you have only 6 years left! Make the most of them! but it’s too late! I can’t change a thing in the Past! i am so mad! Why did my niece have to grow up without my brother?
 Such is life i guess. There as actually a Christmas where I am thin ,lol! I am so pleased to see it. Christmas 1992, pre CG. a time when I lost my weight for a second time, D*amn! I look GOOD!
I’m looking at my daughter , Christmas 1992. 2 years before that car hits her and changes our lives forever!
Funny. looking into the past. I was so filled with life then. I had forgotten, the life without gambling.
bettie
 
— 12/31/2010 2:59:51 AM: post edited by bettie.
— 12/31/2010 3:14:09 AM: post edited by bettie.– 12/31/2010 12:20:15 PM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Tx for the post pdc, glad to see you had a good holiday season.
Woke up early with many concerns today. Up at 5am with a nagging pain in my right hip/side. Back aching yesterday too. Got on the scale, MOST UNHAPPY there! Gaining weight, not like I am trying not to but d*mn it, all i have to do is eat a few junkie things and I have a massive weight gain ( OK, exaggerating there ) but for "normal" people they just don’t gain like I do. It makes me question my recovery. I have been told repeatedly don’t stress about your eating, don’t stress about your smoking. One thing at a time, give yourself a break.
If I just transition back to eating to build the "wall of fat" to hide behind then I have to question if I am really making progress or just kidding myself. I am frustrated, can you tell?
My gf is having a New Years Eve  party. She is also "fixing me up" with a blind date for the event. I should be excited but I am almost dreading it. I am ashamed of my weight. I am thinking about backing out.  
I’m going to make myself get up and move today. I think a workout may be out of the question. Think I’ll call the Chiropractor  today and get a massage, that will help the hip a bit I think. A massage, maybe a pedicure ( I got a gift card for Christmas for that ), maybe a new "do". I have to do something to get out of this slump. Maybe I am sleep typing and this is all a dream.
catch u later
bettie

[bettie]

I think I have a pretty unique urge problem. Oh So Lucky am I! lol!
I had a regular customer come to reopen her savings account, with a check from the casino. I believe she is a Cg, retired. lonely, widowed, typical. Very sweet lady. We talked about gambling, why she liked to do it. Boredom being her number one reason. She mentioned that she didn’t really win, just got some of her own money back. I had to ask the details, I won’t feed your cg with the retelling. Thats the part that makes me mad, I just couldn’t resist! And after feeding that demon guess what? Oh come now, you must know??
Urges.
Just what i deserve, just what I asked for.
Well they passed, as they will if you let them.
I advised her not to go back, if she really won she would have no need to. Hopefully I made her think a little.
Don’t be complacent
peace
bettie

[bettie]

hey guys!
Sorry our time was up!
Christina, nice to meet you!
Lizbeth, always a pleasure! Sorry we stopped on a bad note but we sure have come a long way from those dark days haven’t we?
Michelle, you are coming right along! What a chatterbox! It is lovely sissy!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Kwb, thanks for the hug!
Guess who called?
I told him off about the plumbing. I asked him when he had the 10 people living there (he claimed 4) had he done any maintenance at all?? I mean really, there is just the two of them. Did they really grow the tree roots that were pulled from the pipes? And anyway, did he really think they unscrewed the cover on the sewer just to push doody down the drain?? His reply, well i never had this trouble before. I came over and the floor was wet. Well Of course it was! They MOPPED it! You did no repairs for 2-3 years what do you expect?
He got off the phone pretty quick after that. Maybe he will think twice about plying me with bath robes and soap!
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Just a quick note. 3 more days of work the off again! I did add a decent account yesterday and hope for a few more. I saw that they had taken away credit for something, now down to $16 over the goal but I expected that.
Oh Lizbeth, I wish I had seen your post yesterday. I hate hate hate urges! Funny when I was busy yesterday I didn’t think of being cg, urges, anything gambling related. It will be good when your projects start.
Kathryn, I started reading your thread from the start last night. Thanks a lot, I didn’t get much sleep! lol!
Well I didn’t mention I got maybe 5 more scratch tickets during Christmas. In my hand and out! Not even going there! Just one less temptation!
"the Landlord" should be back in town. Jen’s dad has not gotten the plumbing fixed yet. Did I mention her bedroom door is "missing?" I told her he will insist on coming in if it’s not resolved. She screams at me, "He can’t come in here!"
Well, if a repair needs to be done, YES he can.
I hate being in the middle. I must still love the drama, since I created this mess!
Deep breath. Maybe I’ll get "lucky" and he won’t call. Well, we know my "luck" don’t we?
odaat
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Home, Finally!
Thank God the holiday finds me with a day off tomorrow to recover.
I had a nice holiday with the family. Mine yesterday and my ex’s today. My sister is in love with the Tequila I used for the margaritas for our Mexican Christmas eve, will need to get her one for her birthday. The Great niece was so sweet! 8 months now. I bought her a soft teddy bear and she just squeezed it and wouldn’t let go! What a cute age!
Had to laugh at my ex husbands house. His wife said it wouldn’t be Christmas if I didn’t fall asleep in the recliner. She says they take an annual photo of me sleeping and I look so cute! lol! The gave me a gift, a pumpkin candle ( my favorite) and a gift card to a clothing store. I told her she shouldn’t as I only buy for her son and her grand kids, but she said she wanted to do something extra for me, as last year I looked so down and stressed. ( I look back and you know what? she was right!)
We spotted a really drunk driver on the highway and called the police. Hope they got him, Swerving left and right, just a matter of time before he hit someone. Snowing, icy and he was doing about 40 mph in a 65 mph zone.
Looking for a snack but ate like a pig! Guess I should be using the new workout DVD and work out clothes I got.
All in all, a pretty nice holiday.
peace
bettie

[bettie]

Alright Everyone!
I have been posting like crazy trying not to miss anyone! I know I failed as I am out of time but please know I am thinking of you all! I don’t know ( and don’t care to know ) where I would be without you! Merry Christmas!
I spent the day with Jen yesterday. She had a take your family to work day. Had food and drinks all day. She was one of the organizer’s. Poor kid, at the end of the short day her boss yelled at her about not doing any work! She said she did what was needed but he thought she blew off the whole day. Long story short she felt very slighted and embarrassed to be chewed out by a ( drunk ) boss with me there. I told her now to worry, hence the source, but I feel bad for her, She cried all the way home and was just sick about it all day!
I stopped in and my work and guess what? I MADE MY GOAL!!!! $21 dollars over! Merry Christmas to me! I have 4 days to make up some "insurance" dollars, as we never know what they will disqualify so my work is not quite done but I am SO HAPPY going into the holiday with that off my chest! Thank you for all your prayers and support! ( just keep the prayers coming!!)
I’ll be around but have a ton to do before the party starts! my family celebrates today so lots of little things to get done. Never did any baking but sure have eaten enough cookies to last the rest of the year!
peace
bettie
 

[bettie]

Hi Larry,
My wise friend! I have learned so much from you! Talk about getting step 12 down!
You have been a good friend to find here and I thank you!
Merry Christmas!
bettie

[bettie]

So So sorry to bring you all down with me! Yikes!
Bi Polar or Menopause? Both serious things and I am not making a joke here. Feeling better but it did get worse before it got that way.
Goofy EX didn’t bring enough tools to do the job and has to come back. A total waste of my time. And to top that off had to call the landlord back, and he tells the EX that maybe they are dumping dog doody down the drain! Yea, right! Like you wouldn’t have to touch it to shove it down the drain. Wait till her gets back, I’m gonna rip him a new one!
My head was splitting at that point so I sent the EX on his way and stayed and played with the doggy’s. They are so spoiled (by me) and I love them so much! They love me too. They don’t care if I am rich or poor, skinny or fat, ugly or beautiful. They see me and get so happy and excited! (Well, they get excited for most people, but love me more!) When I go over on my lunch time I buy them their own hamburger-don’t tell my daughter!
So I went from there to a new GA meeting. It was strange to me and took a while for me to warm up. I didn’t plan to say a thing, but was reminded that maybe you think you have nothing to share but what you say may help someone else. I got a funny response to my therapy. I was told that I get more positive all the time! I can’t imagine how bad I must have been in the past if this was a positive one, lol! But I think I have more resolve, and when I voice my feelings I sometimes resolve my issue at the same time.
So to all of you around the world who will start Christmas Eve and Christmas before me. I wish you Peace. Peace of mind, heart and soul. I wish it for myself too.
your friend in recovery
bettie
It’s one thing to know where you want to go-it’s another thing entirely to have the Wisdom to get there….
Looking for the Wisdom– 12/23/2010 5:42:37 AM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

Hey,
Sorry to be such a downer on the chat. The mood swings are really bad today. I got an email from a friend and brought her up to date on the FWB situation. Thought it would therapeutic but all it did was bring up such hurtful memories and sadness. Then just to ice the cake, I had to call the landlord because there is a problem with the sewer and I needed to get permission to get it fixed ( so HE can pay for it ). Daughter will not deal with him and couldn’t call, she is working. She had no idea how much it bothers me to call him. Strike two for me!
Now I will get to see her dad as he needs me to let him in her place to do the work.Maybe that will be strike three and I can just climb back in bed and start over!
Not a bad idea really!
peace
bettie

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