[bettie]

The Cancer is Neuroblastoma. Not good but she does have a shot at remission. Poor baby! Her mom is so devestated she is still at the point that she can’t talk to anyone.
One of the ladies in my meeting is having a double masectomy this week.
The good news is I got that loan and now I must make the best of it.
I may have found a way to get around the tax bill.
God is good all the time!
They are finally plowing our lot. We have about 2 feet of snow and I tried to get my car out earlier. All I did was get stuck and it took 3 of my neighbors just to push me back into my parking spot. Not sure if I will make it to work tomorrow.
bettie

[bettie]

thanks for the prayers that we could really use them. Got news this morning that one of Jenny’s friends daughter who is 10 years old has cancer and its stage 4. I’m not sure what type of cancer it is please keep her in your prayers they said it spread to her bones

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Yikes tax time! When the company changed hands I had a loan from my retirement account ( almost 5 years and I am sure it was from gambling debt!) There was no option to withhold income taxes and this in considered income plus a 10% penality. It kickes me into a higher tax bracket and it looks like I might owe ~a lot!
I don’t know when that financial recovery is going to happen. I haved tried to get a loan to consolidate the bills I have ( without this latest debt) and I had high hopes that would get my financial house in order.
I can’t afford yet another payment. If the loan falls through I am afraid that it means I will have to file bankrupcy~again!~
I am disapointed to say the least but it’s times like this that I have to let go and let God because I have used all my superhuman CG powers to try and figure this new mess out and can’t.
I surrender!
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks V!
I think I finally am over this last illness. I still cough but nothing like it was. Day 20-just like the last one I had in October. I talked to a lady that had something similar and it was 45 days for her! No thanks!
I got a lovely review from my Boss-very nice for a change. No raise mind you but a nice comentary on the work performance I give.
Jen starts a new job on Monday! God is so very good! This alone will lift a lot of burden! I hope she likes it-it’s in collections but not commission so she tells me they encourage people to work out payoffs on bills so maybe it will suit her.
Gonna polish my nails and watch the Black Hawks.
bettie

[bettie]

Day 17 just finished my 2nd course of antibiotics. Still a bit horse but coming along.
Snowing and cold here. I have been inside for the most part.
Dr didn’t ask for an x-ray-he says its not in my chest but who knows? I have had so much raidation I may glow in the dark.
Kpat when ever I see a new person I am almost ashamed to say I don’t reach out like I used to. I have seen a lot come and go in 5 years on the site. Sometimes I want to shake the person and tell them what to do. It’s not because I am perfect or that I am cured by no means. It makes me sad sometimes because I know the pain. I can feel whats coming and and I want to scream “don’t do it because I did it and it hurts and prolongs the suffering”. I know the reality is that we each must find our own path, suffer from our own mistakes, find our own peace. The only person I can save is myself. I am a pro at making my own mistakes and I guss thats the only way most of us do. I wish I could just wrap my arms around everyone and save them but I can’t.
bettie

[bettie]

Vacation
Please post wheen you get back!
Hope you had a great time!
bettie

[bettie]

Hey Kpat,
Don’t let that thought that 2015 won’t be 100% “clean” as an excuse to gamble.
The adictive voice is a strange deamon. It takes our weaknesses and flaws and runs with them.
I think I speak for more than just myself when I say I have had that “oh well I screwed up so might at well” thought process.
Lets say you did “win” ( because as a CG we never “win”) all it would do is send us right back to the chase bigger payouts that we just give back-and then even more money that we can’t afford to give away.
bettie

[bettie]

Well p believe it or not its day 15 and I am STILL sick. I cough so hard my lower back feel strained and hurts like heck. I was back to the Dr on Monday and took off work yesterday. I might call off tomorrow too. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!
When I had this in October it lasted 20 days so maybe I’ll turn the corner soon.
bettie

[bettie]

Well Kpat I too can say I have been in your shoes.
Barriers are a tool-just one of many we need to give us time to think, clear our heads, disect just what’s going on.
I had many starts and stops but didn’t get any real “clean time” until I went to GA.
I know you don’t want to hear that-Harry drilled that in my head many many times until I got it.
No debit cards, no credit cards, no cash= no gambling!
This is serious cr*p-we are in the fight of our lives.
“Prison, insanity or death” We all have a choise here. We are powerless over gambling. There will come a time that choising not to gamble will become easier. Get all the support you can.
bettie

[bettie]

well I’m posting off of my phone so I don’t have to type. I’ve graduated from sinus infection to laryngitis. I was just sitting around the house tonight so I was reading back on my thread to about 2011. Its funny how some things have changed but yet so many things are still as they were back then. This is a slow process. This recovery thing seems to take a lifetime I guess. I read so many great posts from so many of you that are still posting these days. I know without your support I wouldn’t be clean and sober these days no doubt about that.I’ve coughed so much today that my side actually hurts.
Hope I get a good night sleep something I could certainly use.
Bettie

[bettie]

I’m afraid I spent New Years just the same way I spent Christmas. sick. this sinus infection is still hanging in there. I’m a little bit depressed have been home the last two days by myself. I did go over to my brothers for a couple hours to watch the Hawks lose yesterday . I was supposed to go see a friend of mine today but she was afraid I might be contagious which is true. I have to work tomorrow but then I’ll be off on Sunday. I’m hoping to get back into exercise in the new year. I know if I lost a couple pounds I’d feel better about myself and about things in general.

[bettie]

Happy New Year Cat!!

[bettie]

I’m afraid I spent New Years just the same way I spent Christmas. sick. this sinus infection is still hanging in there. I’m a little bit depressed have been home the last two days by myself. I did go over to my brothers for a couple hours to watch the Hawks lose yesterday . I was supposed to go see a friend of mine today but she was afraid I might be contagious which is true. I have to work tomorrow but then I’ll be off on Sunday. I’m hoping to get back into exercise in the new year. I know if I lost a couple pounds I’d feel better about myself and about things in general.

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Just checking in. Jen leaves tomorrow early. She is driving me crazy with the ex ? boyfriend. ( They have been calling and fighting on the phone). I don’t get it.
Went to the Dr Friday with another sinus infection. Almost over it ( I hope).
Working until 5pm then off for 2 days. I need the rest.
Happy New Year everyone!
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Liz,
You have my full support and understanding ( or maybe lack of understanding ) when it comes to our moms.
When we discussed doing a grab bag for Christmas gifts my mom was the first on board. (Why didn’t she want to give gifts to her kids when she can well afford to?) So when Christmas Eve rolled around she STILL bought a gift for my Oldest brother-the one she bought the house for-and nothing for me, my sister or my other brother. I didn’t think too much of it but my sister was really hurt. I told her not to feel bad because she made my brother totally dependent on her his whole life and in reality she made us strong by giving us less. She said she never thought of it that way.
I wish we were neighbors because I think our moms would get along famously!
bettie

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