[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Have not made any appointments yet. I will try to do that tomorrow.
I have started my auction selling online. Have some good bids on a few items so will see how that goes.
Home watching the Bears game and my CG buddy called. He had his car stolen and has the settlement check, wants to know if I will waive the hold period and cash it for him tomorrow. I told him no. He is buying a beat up old car so he has more gambling money ( i know what it’s like to think like a CG ).
He asked me who I was betting on in the game. I told him ( again ) I don’t gamble. He said "Oh yea-guess u learned your lession the hard way". I told him yes I did-and some day he might also!
I don’t think he liked my answer!
bettie

[bettie]

My Dear Larry,
You have not let me down at all-Believe me it is all too true that i know how you must be feeling.
You should still have my number-I will resend it to you.
God Bless you Larry-sending my love & Support
Bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Hi And welcome Teegee. I’ll look to see if you have a thread.
Well there is still some honest people left in the world.
I called my daughter tonight and she was in tears and asked if someone had called me about her wallet. Seems she lost it when she was out and thought she had put it in her car.
30 munites later, as I was on the pc trying to cancel her credit card my door buzzer rings. A nice looking young man says Hey, you looking for a wallet?
OMG! He brought it to me, said he looked in it and all her cash was there. I told him she just had a birthday and she had all her gift money, gift cards etc in there. I tried to give him a reward and he flatly refused-he said to pass it on to someone else! I reached out my hand, shook his and asked his name. He said it was Jim and I told him I was glad to know people like him still existed.
Everyone who prays please say one for Jim. May God bless him!
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Well I am just exausted, getting ready to camp in this cold weather. Got off work early but had to shop as we are having Jen’s belated birthday party there on sunday.
Heard from my "friend" and the news is not good. His son has had more surgery and will still need more. They had to do a bypass , still needs surgery to repair his intestine and he has damage to his spine. He is currently on a resperator. I am afraid it will get worse before it gets better.
I think I am off to bed soon.
bettie

[bettie]

Not to worry Vera. He was on his way to the hospital when he called. His son was in surgery well into the night. He is scheduled for more surgery tomorrow.
He has asked me for nothing and has not asked me to be "involved" in any way.
I read the story in the paper and it was on the local news so I know it is not trumped up.
Call it co dependent and maybe it is. I could never turn anyone away if they really needed my support. If he were to ask for anything more than support of some kind I would ask if his feelings have in someway changed, as mine have not.
Just getting older and wiser I guess.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
You won’t believe this but maybe you will-cause my life is just like that.
The "friend" called and I answered. He needed to know about his account then called back to say his oldest son was robbed and shot today-in the middle of the afternoon. He called me from the hospital and he was in surgery but dr updated to say he was stable but lost a lot of blood and had dammaged some organs. I told him I would pray for his son-as i believe that God listens to sinners. This doesn’t change my feelings and the need to care for myself but I do feel sorry for what he is going through. I know first hand how hard it is when something happens to your child.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Just not feeling good tonight. I am exausted from watching the grand dogs-they bark at night! I didn’t want to get out of bed today.
I think the chances of ever becoming friends with the "friend with no benifits" are almost zilch. In that letter I demanded what I wanted, what I needed and said in no uncertain terms that our "relationship" was very unhealthy for me, and things could no longer go on how they have been. Since he is not capable of loving anyone but himself, needless to say, this could not have gone over well with him.
I have decited to decline further invitations from the couple I went out with on Friday. They are his friends and there will always be a chance of him showing up. If he had showed up with a female I would have been devastated. Who needs that heart ache? For their part I must say they are sweet people, as  they came to my job on Saturday and apoligized for him showing up. It was no fault on their part.
Yea! Self esteem! – But- I have other compulsive things to deal with.
My eating-omg!
I also went on a spending spree and bought a new reclining sofa and loveseat! Oh well, I could have gone on a gambling spree and spent just as much-with nothing but heart ache to show for it- so things could be worse.
I think I’ll make some tea.
bettie
 

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Well as "luck" would have it I took the rare invite out with friends for a drink and guess who showed up? He was kind and said hello. I excused myself to the restroom to gain my composure, went back to the table, hugged my hosts and left. I couldn’t even look at him to say goodbye. I got into my car and cried all the way home.
I still feel bad today. I should have at least said goodbye. i wonder how he felt when I hugged the others and not him? This was always a point of contention with me, as he did that to me in almost ever social situtation we were ever in together.
Payback is a b*tch!
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Well this has turned into a week of loss.
I do believe I have finally ended a really unhealthy friendship. This has been extreamly painful for me and I am sure I will continue to greve for quite a while over it.
I lost another Aunt yesterday-my dad’s twin sister died. I had a nice conversation with my cousin yesterday.( one of her 10 children ) I won’t make that funeral as my boss will be furious if I ask for more time off and frankly I am not up for the trip. I am exausted from crying the last two days and feel physcally ill.
Woke up with high sugar today. I believe thats from the stress. I need to get my head in a better space.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Larry thanks for your thoughtful posts-to me and to everyone.
I haven’t felt much like posting-my life has a tendency to run on rollercoaster highs and valley lows. It’s the same old song for me -nothing changes if nothing changes. I’m tired and sad and confused sometimes, other times I am running on some kind of high. Maybe I am a bit bi-polor. And I don’t mean that lightly, because it is a serious thing. Maybe it’s being a woman "of a certain age", who knows.
I turned off my cell phone tonight as I didn’t want to talk to the person who kept calling me. I have to work on boundrys, and stop letting myself be used and abused emotionaly and physicaly. A friend asked why I keep seeing this person and it dawned on me that like my gambling I keep doing the same things over and over and expect a different result. Insanity for sure.
I am afraid my addiction in just sitting and waiting to take me over. Who said change is good? I would say it is scary but it is what it is.
Growing pains-ouch!
bettie

[bettie]

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
My brother would have been 52 today. It’s also the date 7 years ago that I hit my "jackpot"- and I was well on my way to becoming the CG I am today.
Time truely flys.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Back at the hotej. The wake was very very sad. My aunt was quite loved. I saw some people that i haven,t seen in years. I forgot that most people remember me 90 pounds heaver with darker red hair. I hope to be remembered like that some day in the distant future. She will be greatly missed.
Bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Well I guess I am a bit confused about the "who we help" statement. What are the ramifications? Does this mean that UK threads are closed? Does it mean that UK members can’t post to current threads? Can UK people parcipitate in chats? Even with funding issues how does NOT serving UK benifit the powers that be?
I’m not trying to be smart, just trying to understand.
I find this excluding current members mean spirited and very counter productive. Special prayers go out to anyone with the added stress of having this support pulled out from under them. I was "suspended" from the site in error during my early recovery and believe me I was in a pure panic. My heart goes out to all affected.
bettie

[bettie]

Hey Larry,
Happy Belated belly-button Birthday!
Hope you have the best year yet!
bettie
 

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