[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Went to dinner with my brother at a favorite restruant last night. Much to my suprise my brother told me about some construction they were doing in the banquet room. They added VLT’s. I guess I just have to get used to these things popping up all over the place. I feel much like my friend Pp, because there is no exclusion that could be enforced on these things.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Thanks for posting Cat!
Jen reports that she starts work on Wednesday! It is part time work but she needs something current on her resume. She said she would look for a pt waitress job if she has to. Thank you God!
Off to work for me!
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Hey Carole, I was home all evening yesterday however the GT site was down and I was not able to get online and didn’t get your message until just now.
My meeting is tonight but I can try to call u when I get home. That would be around 8-9pm your time.
Jen had an interview yesterday and was told she would hear today if she got the job. Prayers please! This girl needs a job!
With the new taxes and increase in payments for medical I had to dip into my auction funds to pay my 2nd mortgage this month. I can’t seem to save a dime! I did find some cute items to list yesterday. I paid $11.50 and haves bids over $40 already. I do seem to have an eye for those things. I see God provides what we need.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Sherry the pain is manageable right now-but I am afraid the cortazone shot is wearing off already. I am in good shape for the shape I am in.~lol~
Larry always good to get a post from you. You always manage to be so thoughtful and I know I am not alone when I say thank you. Your opinion is always welcome here.
I hate to break the news to you Larry but I had found in the past when I was on a regular workout program it DOES reduce you appetite. I really hate when I have to accept that what I have always been told was true-I just didn’t want to hear it!
I think life and recovery is like that too. We fight facing the truth-and in doing so waste time that could be better spent. I guess we face our addictions when we can, better late than never.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Thanks for posting Crystal.
Just back from physical Therapy. This will be my last appointment until I talk to the ortopedic. The therapist said depending on the size and location of the tear recovery from that type of surgery is 6-12……MONTHS~ Yikes! I asked her how fast would I go back to work she said 6-12 weeks. She said therapy would not cure my arm-if I chose not to do surgery it would be pain management and limitations on my activity. Well I will have to see what the dr says.
Just some thoughts I shared with a friend last week. We were talking about yet another common element with CG’s- a history of abuse. I wonder, some of us have had abusive mothers but were good mom’s ourselves. I think we compulsive gamble to in some way continue the abuse we suffered at the hands of people who were supost to protect us. Kind of sounds logical. At some level we were "bad" and since out abuser was out of the picure to inflict the punishment we punish ourselves for all our "sins"-real and imagined.
Food for thought.
bettie

[bettie]

hi guys,
I called the Dr about my MRI.
Nurse came on the line and said you have a tear.
No info, nothing else.
I see the Ortho on the23 rd.
It is what it is.
Bettie

[bettie]

Hi Larry,
Just wondering if you had thought about coming to the Chicago GA Conference. It’s in April again and I plan to attend.
It takes a real man to admit his mistakes and being honest with your extended family will "keep your side of the street clean."
Not a bad choise in the lomg run.
bettie

[bettie]

Carole I think they must bartenders because of the hours they keep. They are not owners. They grandfathered in the rental units when they decided to stop letting people buy then rent out their units. That rule was poorly enforced, as now we have too many renters to qualify for goverment loan programs.
I hold out little hope that they will be kicked out. There are "no eviction in winter " laws here-and it seems like every low life knows how to work the system. Calling the management company only resulted in a warning to the landlord. I am hoping that they will fine him this time. Money talks.
I think I had more determanitation than energy. I really had to force myself to work out. If I wasn’t taking a sleep aid I could do a workout before work. I did that every day for almost two years straight. I got frustrated when my weight stabalized and I could no longer loose weight, no matter if I starved myself or not. I am hoping to repeat the workout tomorrow.
Don’t know why I am having gambling urges-maybe the neighbor thing. That being said I am picking up dinner and going to my brothers to watch the football game. I have no team to cheer for since the Bears didn’t make the playoffs but I will root against Green Bay-just on principle. We are rivals and I hope they lose tonight! lol! Good thing I was never a sports bet person!
bettie– 1/6/2013 4:18:54 AM: post edited by bettie.

[bettie]

Hi CC,
I had a conversation with a friend a couple of nights ago. We were talking about relaspe-and why in the h*ll we would do it. I know when I went back out last year I had lost hope. After 16 months "clean" I had a momentary doubt, that everything I had done was a waste of time. Who the heck was I kidding? I was worthless, nothing was changing, that my life sucked.
I believe the reason we go back to the casino is because we are trying to recapture the "good" gambling days, when gambling was fun, when it was a friend, a date, something to do. I was never bored, as I was always trying to figure out how to obtain the cash this week so I could go have some "fun". Too bad when we relaspe the part we forget about, "the pain", thats now the only thing waiting there. The "fun" left us the day we became compulsive and crossed the invisable line.
Let me reassure you CC your progress is HUGE! I’ve know you almost 3 years now and I can see the growth in you, the maturity, the reasonable side, the non CG CC.
Don’t go hide. Don’t be ashamed. Every CG’s journey is different, some of us seem to hit more rough patches than others, some of us "get it" sooner.
You know "going away" from your thread will most likely lead to more gambling. I don’t believe you want or need it.
I for one am proud of you CC! Don’t run and hide. You need GT and WE NEED YOU!
love ya,
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
((Carole)), (( Sherry)) and ((Maverick))! So good to see "old" friends here.
Got home from work and the down stairs neighbor was out so no excuses. I incorporated the shounder therapy moves with my step workout and after 45 minutes I am sweating like crazy.
Just looked out the window and it is snowing. Looks like some may stick as it is below freezing outside. It is a beautiful sight as we have had no snow this year and very little last year.
The neighbors in the next building are up to their old tricks. Last night I lost one of my ear plugs and the *sses were on the balcony at 3:30am and woke me up -again. I turned on my bedroom light to let them know I was awake. The talking continued. I plugged both ears and turned on my TV to drown them out but at that point I was upset and angry and couldn’t fall back to sleep for another hour and a half, only to wake up with an awful leg cramp! I spent 2 hours writing a letter to the condo assocation today so we will see.
bettie

[bettie]

I ate a bowl of high fiber cereal-with skim milk Carole! Not quite the same!
I wanted to workout when i got home today but I have a new excuse. The girl below me has a new born and I don’t want to disturb her! Oh well she willl adjust, I need to work out! My deceased neighbor said once when I told him sorry about the noise-he said "I knew something was going on up there but it was none of my business!" – funny guy!
bettie

[bettie]

Hi SG,
Glad you have some kind of transportation. Getting rid of money is a great barrier. My daughter manages the paychecks for her bf-he is an addict. She buys him gas cards that can not be used for other things. I did read somewhere about a debit card that can be loaded with cash but can’t be used at a casino or bar. Good management skills for those of us who have no other person who can manage their cash.
No cash=no gamble.
Do you have a library? Free entertainment. Recovery books, dvd’s. There are a lot of free things that can be fun. I had no money when my daughter was growing up. I lived with my sister-we were both divorced with girls 18 months apart. We scraped up money for a family pass for swimming and went almost every day. We also made an adventure of going to different parks and the girls loved it.
Another good source for recovery books is ebay. Goodwill lists them for  flat fee-around 4-5 dollars. I good investment in recovery. Anything by Melodie Beatty is always good.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Guys,
Yes Carole she sent me a short email and said she was taking a break. Lets hope it is not for too long.
Busy day at work, nothing like the big boss coming in the first day after a holiday. I was the only banker today because my boss doesn’t know how to make a schedule. Plus side was that he had to help me take customers because his boss was there so he couldn’t hide in his office like he usually does when it’s just me! He who laughs last laughs best!
lol~
bettie

[bettie]

Hi Jess,
It is hard to understand this illiness of compulsive gambling. How do you go back after 4 years-the answer is not as hard as it seems. Those "low" feelings-those "root" causes-those hurts- once apon a time we could go blow off steam at the casino and feel better.
This time last year i had 16 months "clean" and threw it away because I decited I was just kidding myself, I didn’t deserve recovery-I deserved all the pain I could get and the fastest way to get it was a return to gambling.
You know what worked before and now you know what to "tweek" . Even with years of freedom from the bet there are certain barriers we all need. We are CG’s for life-even when we haven’t gambeled for a long time.
Jess beating yourself up will not change a thing. Been there done that!
Congrats on the choise you make today to rejoin your recovery. It’s there still-waiting for us all.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi SG,
So so sorry about your car. Is it too late to make any arrangement to get it back?
I know we all have to make out own mistakes but there for the Grace of God go I. I was behind on both my car and my mortgage when I found GT in Feb 2010.
When you do go to your first GA meeting I would suggest you get a chance to know a few prople before asking for a sponser. They will give you a phone list and please use it. They also have a presure relief session that I would ask for right away. It can help you with financial issues and help you make a plan to manage money and pay off creditors.
Just remember if you are like most CG’s you want everything fixed-YESTERDAY! It’s called the patience of a cg. I know it all seems dark right now but believe me it will get better. I know sometimes i just have to learn all my lessions the hard way, and sometimes God really kicks my *ss hard because thats what it takes to get my attention.
((sg))!! I’m right hear rooting for you!
bettie

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