[bettie]

Jen got her medical card today.I made some calls trying to find a dr to take her. Bsby will be here before we know it. My gf is helping with the shower and time is running short. I will be Glad when it’s all done
Bettie

[bettie]

Hi and welcome!
Don’t overwhelm yourself!
I think some of the best advice I ever got here is that one bet is too many-and one thousand bets are never enough!
The only day we need to worry about is today. One day at a time. There will come a time when you will be able to see yourself as a non-gambler however thats a ways off at this point. The further you are away from your last bet the easier it will be.
Insanity, prison or death-that’s where compulsive gambling will take you. This is from the GA Yellow book-i was struck like a ton of bricks when I first read those words but it was a wake up call because I wanted to die by the time I found the GT site.
bettie

[bettie]

Hi guys,
Yes I should be sleeping however I’m still waking with headaches. Saw Dr yesterday. He doesn’t seem overly concerned just told me to watch for other symptoms and to see him in a month. I will be off work until at least February.
I can’t wait until I get some energy back. If I could sleep better that would help.
Things could be much worst so I need to be greatful.

Merry Christmas!

bettie

[bettie]

Hi guys,
Still having bad headaches. Dr had me go to emergency room on friday and get another C T to rule out any new bleeds. CT came back fine. He gave me more pain meds and stress meds.
I am so tired. Hard to sleep.
Haven’t even started Christmas shopping. I am getting disability pay so that’s a good thing.
Well off to bed with me.
bettie

[bettie]

Always a pleasure to see your spin on things.
FwB showed up at the hospital much t surprise. He hasn’t graced my door I’m over a year, Much to my relief.
Good thing Jen was here. She had to consent to my surgery as I was not coheatent enough for a legal consent. Off she wasn’t here I would be in a nursing home for my recovery.
I’m tired.
Past my bedtime.
Bettie

[bettie]

so nice to see responses so quickly on this poor old thread. my skin is so itchy because it’s so cold and dry outside and being cooped up inside is not good for that either. Jennie is out with her girlfriends I just want her to get home safely as we are having a snow storm. she wanted to take my car I said absolutely no. it does not handle well in the snow. It’s been like that since the car was new. I am not impressed with the anti-lock brakes.
it’s been like this since the car was brand new. The first snowstorm that I drove and I made the dealership come and pick it up and look at the brakes but of course they found nothing wrong.
It’s late and I should be asleep already but I have been getting really bad since I’m not getting up for work in the morning. Lazy lazy lazy!
Bettie

[bettie]

Hey guys I know it’s been a long time since I posted have thought about it just haven’t gotten around to it. I’m home right now on medical leave. I had a brain bleed and emergency surgery about 3 weeks ago. Not sure when I’m going to go back to work yet waiting for the neurosurgeon to give me clearance to go. I’ve got Jenny living with me right now. It took me a couple months to convince her to come home . things fell through with her and her boyfriend. She’s about six months pregnant right now. My grandson is due February 23rd. Can’t wait for him to get here. She still hasn’t gotten her medical situation straightened out and hasn’t seen a doctor since she left Georgia. I’m waiting for her to come home so I can take a shower. I’m so so fortunate I had an excruciating headache at work and hit my doctor bring me to the ER which is directly across the street from where I’m working now. I did get reassigned to a different branch and things have gotten a lot better from that standpoint. It was not my choice to leave but I would say that it was God’s will that I got moved.
my new boss has been very generous and I knew I was going to like him. I worked with his brother for a year and they’re very similar in management style. I know he was glad to get a seasoned Banker as this particular branch as not been able to keep anybody. I did manage to make my goals at least one month which is more than I can say for where I had been for the last 16 years. The staff here is genuinely nice and seems to really like me which is a plus. I hope everyone is doing well. No gambling for me. I did manage to get a loan modification and will be filing bankruptcy again as soon as I can pay the attorney. Timing is very good because now I have about $5,000 an outstanding hospital bills from the full incident.
Glad to be alive and intact.
Bettie

[bettie]

I’m as certain as I can be being 900 miles away. The dog was found just about 2 blocks from where Jenny lives which is not very far. When I talked to the emergency vet they confirmed his physical characteristics and that he was an elderly Min Pin . There is very little doubt that it couldn’t be him because he is a breed dog and the chances of two going missing in almost the exact same spot are well a hell of a lot like gambling chances. Jenny does seem better today. She’s in a situation with somebody who’s been living at her house that does not belong there. The girls basically squatting and Jenny has to figure out how to get her out. Just add insult to injury. One of Jenny’s good friends came and took her to lunch today and she’s been texting me this evening and said that Jenny seemed much better. Her second dog Jax refuses to eat dog food. he wants to eat the cat food. I know he misses Sydney terribly just like the rest of us do. I did manage to make it through work today although I made my manager cry when I told her about the dog. She’s a dog person too. I had a random stranger reach out to me on Facebook. She lives in the neighborhood and saw the posting about the dog getting hit by a car. Funny this lady is 900 miles away from me and she’s reaching out to comfort me. A lot like GT. And I think the funniest part is the fact that her name is Betty. What are the chances?

[bettie]

I contacted a Local group to post a notice about the dog. Somebody responded late last night saying that a dog got hit by car in front of their house and their neighbor took him to the emergency vet. I called them at 7:30 this morning only to find out that it’s most likely my Sydney and they had to euthanize him. Jennifer is beside her self. She’s been driving around for hours and refuses to go home. My Eyes are almost swollen shut from crying. Not sure how I will make it to work tomorrow. Jen is worring me sick.
Please pray for us.
Bettie

[bettie]

Hey Kathryn
I did that dry gamble for a while too. According to the Yellowbook that is gambling. The problem with the online games is that they stimulate the same sensors in our brain that attracted to the real thing. It’s the flashing lights you know. That’s the hook. I can’t tell you anything that you don’t already know. But always know, that I’m rooting for you. Take care girl
Bettie

[bettie]

Ever faithful friend P! Thanks for bringing me up.
I am happy to report that I haven’t gambled since the last of February. I believe i’m about 10 weeks clean as of today, odaat.
I have wanted to gamble but have managed to push those thoughts aside. I have passed at least 2 more gambling cafe’s that have opened in my little town. Sad, these seem to be the only businesses opening here now. I have a customer who owns a little bar near my job. He’s had it over 30 years and has had legal gambling machines for about 2 years. 40% of his income is now from gambling. This is just 1 of hundreds of little neighborhoods bars and I can’t help but wonder how many “new” cg’s have found a place to walk to to gamble? You would think the meetings would be growing leaps and bounds. I know not all gamblers are cg-but the one’s I have seen in these places appear to be! Slamming fists on machines, swearing, cussing at the machines and trying to discuss how crooked these games are-it doesn’t look or sounds like relaxing fun to me!
Jen is very close to loosing her rental-and one of the dogs has gone missing. I am worried sick about him. He’s gone about 24 hours now.
I have broken it off with the FWB. When his best friend told me I deserved so much better than him I think it finally hit a nerve. I have had many of you tell me this but coming from HIS best friend told me so much. He’s an insider that knows him inside out, not second hand, not someone who necessarily has MY best interest in mind, but someone that I trust and respect. Silly but I miss him. Maybe not so much him but the fantasy of the relationship I always thought we could have if he wanted it. I can’t change him and make him someone he’s not. He was honest in words but deceitful in action-if that makes any sense.
I got a call from the bank I interviewed with in February. They have an opening closer to my home and asked me to apply.
I let go and let God have this one-lets see where it goes this time.
Well I do need to clean a bit so I need to stop procrastinating.
Take cake!
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks ladies for thinking of me. My 53 rd birthday is Sunday. Maybe that’s why I was on your Mind.
I’m visiting Jen right now. I took a week off work. I didn’t get the position I interviewed for. I also interviewed with another company and was told I would get a call back but that didn’t happen either.
I have thrown myself back into meetings and have 3weeks clean as of today. I am thinking about asking someone new to sponsor me but I have to work up the courage to ask her.
I have a new insulin pump and am still adjusting to it.
I haven’t seen the fwb but did get a call from him last week. I declined when he said he could come by and see me later that night. I told him I was done. I got lectured about how he was honest from the beginning that he wanted only friendship with me. I laughed at him and told him actions are always louder than words to which he said he was planning something for my birthday but now wasn’t going to. He always knows how to hurt my feelings. We have a mutual friend that had said we would go out last weekend and celebrate my birthday but after my call with the fwb they never called me. That really depressed me but I fought the good fight and didn’t gamble over it. I guess that’s progress.
I’m back home Monday and back to work Tuesday. It’s almost unbearable there most days. I am afraid I am close to a write up as I haven’t made my new higher goal yet in the new year. I pray every day on my way into work that God will send me a new loan and account for the day. I feel Like I am at my breaking point. I Find myself frightened a lot of the time.
Visiting Jennifer is tough too. We got on the subject of God today and she is a total atheist now. Her mental health is shakey at best. I can’t help her. She has no ambition and isn’t interested in a better life for herself. I’ve drained the very last of my retirement money between my gambling exploits and keeping a roof over her head and keeping her car from the repo man. I think she will be living in it soon if she doesn’t straighten up. I’ve asked her to move back but she refuses.
I find myself very very tired these days.
I’m on my phone as she has no internet or cable. She is napping because she stays out until the bars close. I’m at my whits end.
But I am still holding on.
Bettie

[bettie]

OMG I could write a book!
The cruse was a lot of fun but my friend was a bit of a crazy person-a bit star struck and RUDE to staff on the ship. Anything that didn’t go just as she thought it should resulted in a trip to guest services and a loud complaint! The ride home was a nightmare. We were caught in the snow storm that hit the day we came home. Long story short we were 15 hours and 3 flights getting home. She was in a constant panic-especially when our flight diverted to Minneapolis ! We didn’t see each other for almost a month after the trip-lol!
I have a lot of great pictures and memories and would like to do that again-but maybe not with her.
Christmas was stressful. Jen was able to make it in but it cost me a small fortune. New Years left me upset-another long story but the “friend” fwb left me upset and depressed for a couple days. I have gotten over it for the most part but have I moved on? Only time will tell. He invited himself over Tuesday night and I refused to let him come here. Its a start I guess.
Work is stressful-even more than I possibly imagined. I applied for the assistant manager position but not sure that I even want it. Boss said that with our new budget there won’t be a cut on the banker staff but I have to have a loan application everyday. Yikes! Not an easy task at best!
I’m doing better but still gambling here and there. I am hoping to just throw myself back into recovery and get my head on straight.
I deserve it! I am worth it!
Thanks for remembering me~
bettie

[bettie]

Very little chances of gambling on the cruise. I’m going with my GA buddy. She’d kill me.Tomorrow is Veterans Day here in the States. I’m off work so I’ve made plans to go see my mother tomorrow and take her out.Very strange day at work today. Assistant manager was let go. I did mention to my manager that I would be interested in the position however she felt that I couldn’t handle it. Funny the last couple weeks I’ve been helping at other branches in the managers all loved me. I hope I have forced her to post the position because I still plan to apply for it whether she wants me or not. Also I’ve been informed that they’re going to cut a full time position and it’s going to be one of those bankers. Since I’m the one who does not speak Spanish I’m sure it will be me. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be terminated because there’s other positions open but The fact of the matter is once they start going in for you if they want to get rid of you they will. We knew in the new assistant came in that they were going on for her and sure enough they found something trivial to let her go for. Just going to try and forget about this stuff and enjoy my vacation that’s coming. I certainly need it now.This too shall pass. Whatever happens will be God’s will. I give it to him because there’s nothing I can do about it. I have no control over people places and things. Good advice to remember.

[bettie]

Well ladies thanks for looking for me.
Not much has changed. I’m still gambling on and off-lack of funds are driving me crazy.
I am in a bit of a panic-my cruse is almost here and I will have to pay the mortgage late in order to have a bit of pocket money. This is stupid-no reason that things have to be so tight but gambling will do that to you.
Pray for me!
bettie

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