[bettie]

Thanks Liz. I did read your post and from now on I’ll just call you “cousin” as I am certain our mothers are related! lol!
My brother came to my resque today. He called to as if he and his daughter could come swiming. I told him I was knee deep in mess as everything I could take out of the spare room was in the front room. He asked why I didn’t him call him to help and I told him I just had no working room and we would be on top of each other trying to move in there. I had him give me an hour to put some stuff back before he came. He took out an old large TV, dumped the rest of the carpet, hung a shelf, cut some wood trim I needed and helped haul out the trash and stuff that I am donating. We swam , the pool is just perfect right now, then went back to his house drank beer and cooked chicken on the grill.
I am wiped out but I got so much done! I like when I accomplish something.
My Mom called-I had made her a birthday card on my PC and used a photo of her and me from about 1967. I put on the inside that she saved the best kid for last. On the back I used a photo of all 5 of us and wrote that really all her kids were great. She took it to church today and she called to say how much everyone gushed over it. She also mentioned how much she loved the curtains I made for her present. I used some Elvis print. All in all I think she was really happy-and as Liz knows thats no easy task with a Mom who is so judgemental.
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks for the post Liz.
It’s still hectic at work-got into a heated discussion with an old customer. After he shook his fist with his finger pointed at me I kind of lost it with him. No manager around to go to. My “sales coach” was there but refused to involve himself and had me give him the new managers phone number. Nice. I haven’t even met her and she already has a customer complaint against me. I send her an email-she made an appointment to see him on Wednesday. Here’s the kicker-she won’t be starting for two more weeks and the assistant manager will be off when he comes in on Wednesday. We are suppost to have a helper on that day as the new company says there has to be a manager or assistant there at all times. I have no intention of taking care of this man as I don’t care who you are-you can’t sit at my desk and be threating to me. I don’t get paid enough for that.
Raining pretty bad here the last couple days. I spent most of yesterday removing the carpet in my spare room. It is quite a task as the room is full of stuff plus Jen’s junk she packed in there. I am sore and exausted but need to keep pushing because I can’t stand the mess any more. I came across a little storage box that I thought I could reuse. I opened it and what do I find? Newborn baby clothes that Jen has bought for the baby she lost. Needless to say I cryed my eyes out over that. My baby greatniece is about the same age Jen’s baby would have been. I just saw her Friday when we went to dinner for my moms 79th birthday. She is such a cute and adorable child, she looks like “Tabatha” from the 1960’s TV show “Bewitched”.
I wonder what my grandchild would have looked like. So many “what ifs” and “why” in this life. I wonder what “normal” feels like.
bettie

[bettie]

I am sorry for the situtation you find yourself in the middle of. You are right on- you can only fix yourself. When we are “in action” we are no good to anyone. Thats the one thing about recovery-life doesn’t automaticly get better. I had a short relaspe after 16 months in recovery because I had the wrong expectation. The difference is now when crisis hits I handle things differently-in a healthier and non self distructive way.
Life is better now but the bed of roses still has thorns.
It’s not life happening TO me, it’s just life happining-the good, bad and ugly.
bettie

[bettie]

Hey Ms Cat!
Hope things have calmed down a bit. I thought my head would explode with everything going on at the end of June/early July.
Things are better but always changing. I am getting a new boss-don’t know how that will be but it is what it is.
Take care!
bettie

[bettie]

Not a bad discussion at all Carole.
I could just as easily be an alcholic, drug addict,etc I just happened to find Gambling as my escape.
Addiction is addiction when it comes down to it.
The 12 steps are universal for all addictions.
My niece has been attending AA meetings as that was part of what they did at the treatment center that she last attended. She likes going and says she gets something out of it.
Whatever it takes.
bettie

[bettie]

Saw my sister today and of course that means I saw my Mom too. I was prepared to take her out for a bit today. We were sitting watching TV “Honey Boo Boo” for those of you familer with the show. The mom was upset because her daughter is getting married and moving away. Over and over my Mom kept repeating “I just couldn’t wait for my kids to leave-she doesn’t have to worry-she’ll be back”. I guess she was trying to get a charge out of me but all she did was make me sad. The last thing I wanted was my daughter to leave. She kept it up to the point that I had a sandwich with my sister then left. I did ask her if she wanted to do anything while I was there and she declined. I will not beg her to do anything-thats what she wants.
I feel a bit defeated. I will never make her happy but I am trying to make the effort.
My brother in law is down 26 pounds in less than 4 days. They are keeping him until at least tomorrow.
Kathryn did you see my beautiful Mr Jingles on FB? He is soft like bunny fur but sheds like a bunny too!
bettie

[bettie]

My mind is just all over the place. I am hoping to go see my brother in law today. Talked to my sister yesterday. She said they had stopped giving him lasix-a med to rid him of the fluid. The cardio doctor was quite upset and restarted the meds. He has lost 18 pounds and is expected to loose another 30 before all the fluid is gone. I can’t imaging loosing 50 pounds in a week but my sister said thats what happened to him about 10 years ago when he had this water retention.
I will be getting a new branch manager as my is being promoted. I have heard that the new one is not nice but that info came from my old bosses “girlfriend” who worked with her a time or two. I have to take that with a grain of salt as that girl is not used to being to what to do as her BF let her get away with murder. On the other hand she started when out present assistant manager started and they went to training together so thats not a good sign.
I hate being so negative-I am worried for sure.
bettie

[bettie]

Glad to see your post and very glad to see that you are working recovery ODAAT.
Some days are longer than others-thats for sure.
I’m so glad that I was one of the fortunate people that met you on this recovery road.
You are in my thoughts often.
Thank you larry!
bettie

[bettie]

Thanks Sad and you are right.
The wedding was lovely-the weather was great as it was out doors at a beautiful venue.
I called off today-my boss just chuckled so I am sure the witch called him. Truth be told I really was ill today. I slept till noon and have been sick to my stomach all day. My other friend, my old assistant manager had a dinner Sunday that I attended and ate ate and ate some more.
Got a call from my sister and her husdand has been admited for congestive heart failure. He just got cut off from public assistance because he got social security disability.He gets $1700 so they think he can “afford” to spend $750 a month on medical before he gets any help. This is the Affordable Health Care in the US. I am sure that they won’t keep him in the hospital long without private insurance. My brother saw him Saturday and said he had open weeping wounds on his legs. This situtation is not good. Please pray for him.
bettie

[bettie]

I find that most people I have talked to either take to GA right away or are turned off right away. I think alot of that is our addicive voice is rolling in our heads with stuff like :
I don’t belong here.
I am not like these people.
I’ll never make it.
These people don’t like me.
Or
Some “old timer” will make a smart remark ( that happened to me!)
Try it again Ob.
Be open, honest and willing. These points are key I think.
Page 17 is all anyone needs to do to be a recovering CG.
http://www.gachicago.org
You will find a lot of info and pamplets there. Pg 17 is is in the yellow book.
bettie

[bettie]

Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.
I wish I could help you Ob but the reality is we have to help ourselves.
Safe Harbour also has a chat-www.sfcghub.com. Due to the time differences you may find more people there as it is in the States.
I have chatted with you many times and really you know what to do.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off.
http://www.gachicago.org – another good site.
You gotta want to do it.
I’m pulling for ya!
bettie

[bettie]

Trying to get my stuff together for tomorrow for the wedding. I have to pack as I am staying at the hotel with my friend.
Have to calm myself so I can sleep. I still have a pounding head.
Oh, got an ad from the new Gambling Cafe here in town, the one with my greats nieces name. As I am excluded in the State of illinois I intend to report this to the gamming commission. I don’t believe they are allowed to send ads to admited CG’s.
bettie

[bettie]

How fortunate I was to get to spend it with you a couple years ago.
I haven’t forgotten that trip and I still want to thank you for having me.
bettie

[bettie]

hey sad thanks for posting. here’s the kicker I was told I couldn’t have tomorrow off because the assistant manager was starting her vacation. she has been on the schedule for Saturday all week. I asked numerous times whether she was actually working and was told know that she was going to be off. I knew I was being lied to. I find out tonight all she has to work so I asked her then why can’t I be off and she said well the manager doesn’t want us working short staffed on Saturday. I told her Well what happens when we’re on vacation we only have two people on Saturday so there’s really no reason why I cannot be off tomorrow after a fruitless conversation I finally had to let it go as she told me to talk to him. of course he is off and it is pointless to talk to him at this point. this was just done because she just doesn’t like me. I’m ready to spit nails. it is difficult working with somebody who does not appreciate anything that you do. I voluntarily worked to closing this week and next week. this is something beyond my normal schedule and something I do not have to do. so the next time they can kiss my butt. it is ridiculous after 17 years that I’m not allowed to use my time off when I need to use my time off. I’m on my way to the dinner right now and I’m so aggravated I just want to go home. I don’t need the type I of aggravation. my next problem is calming myself down so that I sleep
tonight I am NOTNOT completely exhausted for tomorrow

[bettie]

Thanks Liz and sad for your posts.
Can you tell I did my post from my phone-lol!
Before they switched the site I had over 200 pages Sad so it is a very long read! I have thought of writing a book-my life has always had drama-some self inflicted or promoted! Part of my CG long before I knew I was a CG.
I have to change my attitude. When I get in a panic I am hard to get along with. It’s one of my many flaws that I need to work out before I find myself unemployed. I did tell my current boss that I was more distressed about his leaving than he knew. I said I wouldn’t be successful without a good manager. He said the lady coming in was knowledgable and customer friendly. Well we will see soon for sure.
Busy weekend coming. My GA friends daughter is getting married Saturday and she asked me to the dinner tomorrow. It will be rush rush all weekend. I am working the next two days because I asked for time off but was denighed
It is what it is and I will make the best of it.
bettie

[Author]

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