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If you cant get gamban then try gamblock. It is most important that you prevent anymore relapses by blocking the availability. Your gambling sounds just like mine and if it is, it is the only thing that will work. I went from my laptop, which I actually broke on purpose to try to stop, to my phone which I eventually put the gamban on, then to a tablet, which I put gamban on, then to my kids laptop (the older one that they don’t use for school) which I got gamban on now. It is funny how, if you dont have access after a while you learn to just stop trying. Its like when you are on a diet, dont have the food you are trying to avoid in the house or you’ll end up cheating on your diet. If you do more to block the sites at home you will have to do less to stop yourself from gambling in general. Give yourself a fighting chance by taking advantage of what’s out there to help.
If you look t the big picture, which I need to do or the battle seems to be an endless stream of “hopeful tomorrow’s” , I would see the picture like this: you went 4 days with no betting. That’s a start. Now, you stumbled with $100 you wagered, but the reaction wasn’t to get it back by wagering more, it was to self exclude. That’s great. If you had Gambian on your devices, that wouldn’t of happened at all, but sometimes you need to crawl to the sweet spot. I did the same thing. I would keep looking and looking for the one site that would take my money and I didn’t care if there seems to be a way to cash out. I would be so happy that someone would even take my money. I would self exclude right after. The times between got longer and longer. If I could save you a lot of aggravation- get Gamban on all of your devices, even for the short two weeks. After the two weeks you will find it easier to say no. You most likely will sit at your devices for long periods and try different sites until you find another one, and there will always be one more to take your funds. As Running girl says, it’s a devious, cunning and merciless beast, online gambling, because you can never seem to get away. It’s on your computer, tablet and phone. It’s going to bellow from the electronics to get you back, so either get the exterminator out (Gamban) to get rid of the vermin on your devices, or get rid of the devices. You can’t win in the short run if you don’t. It’s like moving into a hotel room at a casino. Would you expect to be successful if you did that? You sound like your headed in the right direction. Keep in touch and I will tell you the long story of my life at another time. Try keeping busy, then try posting your success early in the day before it gets to late. If you tell us you were good for today, perhaps you could convince yourself not to lie to us and gamble after that. I have been gf for almost a month ( with the exception of being treated to the casino for my birthday, and that wasn’t really a cheat since it wasn’t even my desire to go). I find the desire to gamble less with each day, and although I do watch the YouTube videos from Life of a gambler and Neily777 every day that they come out , I don’t find that the reaction is to want to gamble more than I used to, it seems to give me the little fix that I need and then I am good. Keep trying, and one day at a time is the best that anyone can do
I am not one to give love advice, but the common denominator between the love effect and gambling is the dopamine. If you have been single for a while your brain could be missing the rush of dopamine that comes from the brain when you feel love and is replacing it with the rush when you gamble. I am not saying to go and try to fall in love right now, but perhaps chasing the different kind of rush may help with your gambling. I am an all or nothing kind of gal, so I feel things very intensely. You could be the same and need to find other ways to give your brain its fix, especially if you’ve been self medicating with weed and have been depressed. I have been trying other things to give me a bit of a rush and to focus my attention in more positive ways and it has been successful for me in the short term. Good luck and keep your focus on not gambling instead of gambling. BTW, gamban on your devices to stop you from going back to online. I know it’s a big step, knowing that you cant gamble anymore is hard, but it’s something that you get used to and after a while it comes brainless. You just cant do it at home. Self exclude from any place that has slots so that it would be too embarrassing to get caught if you try. Take away any access and you would be surprised how easy it becomes to stay gf. Good luck
If you added in the repeat cycle of registering on online casinos and putting in withdrawl information, providing i.d. and copies of this and that, like you were actually ever going to cash out anything at all, you would be me. I hate most things about casinos. Theres no smoking here, but the place is filled with desperate looking people. Some are elderly some look like vagrants. Smacking the buttons, the screen, yelling in anger and frustration, like it would ever do any good to confront the machine. The defeated people walking to their cars. Waiting for the bus. Never do you think that that will be you in a few hours. It is a sad reality that that will be you, and you will have that ride of shame. And you will forget all of it in a few short days or weeks as you think about the shiny casino and all the flashing lights. I am doing the same thing this week. I havent gambled for 3 weeks and havent been to a casino o for months. I have free play for my birthday….. I am fighting with myself over the free play. It’s free money. If I only take that and a little cash and no bank cards…..its the struggle to see if I can do it and try to control my urges knowing I am a cg. The casinos aren’t my big issue. Its online that is and I am trying g to justify going. Hope you are well and that the poison from these places doesnt get to you anymore.
Vera;
Has anyone heard from RG? Is she in group? I am worried.
You’ve got the numbers and the right attitude. Keep strong
I dreamt that I could fly if I jumped off a cliff. I cant do that and just because I dreamt it doesn’t make it wise. Your mind is being sneaky. It’s trying to get the dopamine. Fight back by daydreaming of not being horrified every time you looked at a bank statement
Just because you are damaged, it does not mean you are worthless. A Porsche can be damaged, fixed then run like new. The only difference is that there may be a weak spot, so you must keep that in mind. The same with us. We are damaged but if we do some repairs, due diligence and maintenance can keep us running. You have to do the repairs needed. I am a hard working Mom that has had a difficult life by that doesn’t mean that it hasnt been great in some areas, anyways. I’m not down for the c o u n t yet. I have never given up easily and wont this time either. You have to make the repairs. It just patch work right now, but if you keep it up, reinforce daily, the patch will hold. Give yourself time and effort. Dont expect that it will be immediate. Just think of yourself as one of the MILLIONS worldwide with an addiction and you wont feel so alone.
Not gambling will give you a much better win than any bet you can make at any point. Read about those people and their big wins and you can bet they have or will lose twice that amount . There is no real big win when you gamble. Its a series of wins and losses that usually does not favor the individual, and if you are a CG, then even if you win you will give it all back. Think about that.
Hi. I have been reading your posts and have been flipping back and forth in my mind on whether i should post to you. I see that you are consumed by the money lost only after the money is lost. I would be in a spiral of not thinking about the money i lost yesterday while gambling today, but was in quite a state just this morning thinking of the yesterday losses. The same would happen tomorrow and tomorrow, and all of the next tomorrows that happened thereafter. Why is it we only think about the money when we are not actually gambling? Its because its not about the money at all. The money is the way we pay for the opportunity to gamble, and we want to- some even need to – gamble because we need to feel. I need the bonus symbols, the anticipation. I need the dopamine flooding my brain. It gives me a great feeling that somehow manages to override all of the flashing lights in my brain telling me NO NO NO. It is never about the money. If it was we would never keep betting until its all gone. Your remorse is for the money lost but it is payment for something that you are getting. Find what you need, what it is giving you, and then find it elsewhere, cheaper. For me, it is giving me quiet, solitude, and an escape from the real truth that i may never be able to be in a functional relationship with any man, ever. I’m damaged and i dont know if i really want to fix it. Then i stress that i dont really want to fix it. Find what it is giving you that you are willing to pay so much for it.