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You’re doing great and the fact that you are dealing with the thoughts instead of just keeping busy is a sign that you may be in it for the long haul. My first few attempts were only successful because I was too busy to try to gamble and it didn’t work once I had time to myself. The second time was not successful because I had blocked on my phone but then I found the,tablet and failed again. If you can keep busy, block all access and deal with the thoughts in a positive way instead of just avoiding them, your concocting a success story in the making. Keep it up.
That’s what we need. To know that there is life after cg. We read all of the threads from others, sad and desperate as we all can be, and we identify. We share our struggles and that is fine
but we all need to start looking to the ones that succeed and that are happy. We need to identify with that! That could be us. We could do that too. We need more people that have beaten this to come back and share their stories so that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks Antonio99When i want inspiration on how to stay on track I sit my butt down in front of the computer and watch youtube videos of people living from paycheque to paycheque , people with no job, underemployed, poor, on benefits and not being able to feed their families. People who have lost it all and have to start over, Get it? You have no idea where this addiction will take you if you don’t stop. It could be you, kicked out of your girlfriends, no job because your gambling ruined your ability to keep it. You could be 45 and in so deep that you can never get yourself out except to file bankruptcy and then ruin your chance of ever getting another home of your own. Life has a funny way of undermining what people think is solid ground and you might want to hedge a few bets that it will happen to you too if you dont get out of the spiral you are in. Many on here have had a lifetime of gambling to run up your debt load. You are still young and have time to get help and start over again, this time, with more controls. Do you want to be someone who has conquered or folded? I fear losing all that I have worked so hard for and to see others, on youtube, telling their stories of how quickly it can all slip away, can be a great motivator to get myself in check. Hope this helps you too. Just go to documentaries.
I dont go to the casino much for that very reason-it’s very difficult to look around and see yourself in others. I see the sadness, the desperation and the anger. I dont go for that reason and the biggest deterrent is the ride of shame home. I sometimes will think about the excitement of the ride there and the walking into the casino with the lights and the sounds, then I make my mind go to the walking out. The ride home. It seems endless. I feel lonely and helpless and so many other things that I only feel when I gamble there. I dont want to be one of those 85 year old people in the casino betting pennies and hoping for a miracle to save me. I dont want to be consumed like everyone else. Keep in your mind the feelings when you leave the casino. Unlike the ads, we are not the happy, excited ones cheering about our victory as we exit. Keep it in the front of your mind and the path of abstinence will be much easier
O.K., so you need to have no access to money. Depending upon where you live, you can have your pay split and directed to accounts that you dont have card access to. The money you give your other 1/2 can be taken right away from your pay and deposited into his account. If you have a savings account you can have the money that is remaining deposited into that, and then you have to go to the bank and have the bills paid from there. The bank will limit access to accounts using debit cards and all you have to do is ask. You can also have direct bill paymants from your accounts so that the bills are always paid first. You should talk to someone at your bank to see what they can do for you to help. You dont have to tell them you have a gambling problem, you could make up something about having a shopping problem or blame it on someone else in your family. The point is, you can utilize the security measures that banks have to protect yourself from you.
I’m sorry if you feel that we are all negative and don’t believe that you can still keep a few side wagers and be o.k., but the facts are not painting a good picture. If you could casually gamble and stay out of debt, you would have already. If you had control and perspective over this issue, then you wouldnt have a gambling issue. I have stated before, my nephew is an addict and no, he can’t have a little bit of heroin and remain sober. Nor can the alcoholic. You know nothing about their addiction or this one. An alcoholic cannot have a little bit and stop drinking. The desire to have more is uncontrollable once they have even a little bit. The same is true of a cg. Gambling a little bit requires something that you dont have if you are a cg. If you had it, could muster it, you wouldnt be a cg. I know where the belief comes from in you. You are not ready to give it up 100%. You tell yourself that you will still do it, just a little, and that you will have more control because you realize now that you have a problem.I thought the same thing in the beginning. I didnt need gamban because i got rid of my credit cards and most of the deposit methods. I didnt need gamban on all of my devices because i wouldnt gamble on my phone or ipad, they were too limited, too small. Guess what? I gambled on anything i could using whatever method i could after a while because the desire to do it was too strong. You need to committ or at least abstain until you get the bugs out. The majority of the plan is a good one. Just admit that you have a problem that you have no control over and then go from there. The problem isnt your debt, its your compulsive gambling.
I am the opposite. I hate casinos because they are full of people that kill the buzz of gambling. My local is full of people that seem to be broke and desperate, or that’s how they look to me. I hate the angry people slapping their buttons and the weird ones who do all the screen touching and massaging. I am too aware of my surroundings to enjoy the games and hate when I cant play what I want. Still, even though I dont really enjoy the experience, I will still go occasionally with friends or family if they are going and ask. I have started to shred the offers that come in the mail from them, and throw out the cards after I get home so as to make it even more of a pain in the butt for me to go the next time. It also doesn’t help that I have to travel a total of 4 1/2 hours round trip to go if I want to go myself. Online is do much more to my liking and that is why I put gamban on everything. It’s way too easy to just slip into my notch on the couch and pick up something electronic. I still have the bad habit of slipping into my notch and being a veg, only this time I’m not blowing my pay. The short of this long winded reply is that you have to fill whatever holes are in your road before you get to them. If the casino is your hole, then you gave to find ways to make it impossible to go, whether it be no access to transport no cash, no time or self exclusion. Whatever opportunity presents itself you must quash as quickly as it comes and before the fond thoughts and urges take hold. I’m not sure where you live or your particular details, so share and we can come up with a plan.
Now you have one more reason to think before you gamble. Every now and then I watch documentaries about gambling, poverty and the like, and think about the situation I could be in, being a single mom. I think about leaving nothing for my children when I die because I have gambled it all away. So many relationships end due to the financial hardship caused by cg and now that you are pregnant again you stand to lose more than ever if you continue. Gamban on ALL devices is definately the way to go. Your mind will adjust to the change of not being able to gamble online soon enough, and then it just gets easier. I always liken it to having chocolate cake in the fridge when your on a diet. You may move on to something else to eat, but if you dont have the chocolate cake, you cant eat chocolate cake. If you cant gamble at home, you’ll do something else. Hope your pregnancy is an easy one. Keep posting
Sorry R4C if you think we dont listen. We do. I’ve been working a lot and dealing with a dental issue so I’ve been able to read but not reply too often. My comment to your success is that, yes, you are doing much better. You could be doing even better than that if you would block the sites with gamban or gamblock. If you dont have the temptation then it would be easier to say no. Would you be able to stay on a diet with a cake in your fridge? It’s exactly the same, and now that I have it on all devices it’s been 37 days without even a blink of an eye. It’s tough to commit to absolutely no gambling and I understand, but if you are serious about quitting, give yourself a fighting chance and block all gambling off of your devices.
The thing about getting gamban is it pays for itself in a very short time, maybe 1 day if you relapse. I cancelled all of my credit cards so I couldn’t use them online anymore so I went and bought a prepaid card and used if to buy an annual term for gamban. I then used the trial download for either 90 days for my laptop and 2 weeks for the iPad. If you are like me, you have more than one email address which I used to gamble, which you can also use to get multiple trial periods of gamban on different devices as well. Make the investment if you cant get them free. I had the same issue at first, and I believe that in the period that I waited to finally get the free period or purchase it for my phone, I spent about 100x the price on slots. In a previous post you said that gamban does not block sites that you visit regularly. I’m in Ontario and havent found a site that it doesnt block. Irregardless, if you have self excluded from the sites, no problem anyways. I made a lot of excuses in the beginning not to get the blocks on my devices and it cost me dearly. Know that you cannot do this without something to stop you and that this is the best first step you can take if you play online. Running girl offered me the same advice and I resisted, initially, but am so glad that I did it. Not having the option, the access, is annoying at first, but it becomes brainless afterwards. You just cant play online anymore than you can go to the gas station and play slots there. It’s not an option so you dont even think about it. I haven’t played online in a month now, and have found it easier every day. I even forgot about it totally yesterday when i was home. Do it today and start an easier road to recovery.
Excuse me if I sound like I know you, as we all have our own triggers and deep seeded reasons for being a cg, but I know that when I am having a stressful day my mind takes me back to those relaxing days, sitting in my house and playing slots online, regaling the joy of the bonus rounds and all of the fun that I have had, and I want to gamble. My mind uses the stress to try to get its fix of dopamine by telling me that gambling was a good way to relax. In fact, it was not. I would be excitable, irritated, secretive, and even paranoid while I played. It was NOT a relaxing time at all, but my mind would tell me that to get me to play. Now, is your mind using the thoughts of your losses to get its fix? Is it tricking you into taking that same road? If you have been down, depressed and travelling a tough road, of course your brain wants some “candy”. It wants to make you feel good. Recognize why you have absolutely no regard for money while you play, but your losses are all you think about all of the time after. Its not about the money. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will recognize your self sabotage and empower yourself to change the cycle. ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY OR YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE LET YOURSELF LOSE SO MUCH AT ANY GIVEN TIME. Keep trying to dissect why, limit the hows, think constantly about the last when’s, and you may be able to take charge of the direction you are taking. Keep trying it’s all you can do. Remember, if you dont gamble today, you don’t have to think about your failure tomorrow.